Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Dead eyes fill my heart
Til it weighs me like potatoes
On my burdened couch
Haiku # 1960, September 4, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Being remembered
Does not make you a legend
It makes you un-you.
Haiku # 1959, September 4, 1999 9:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Metal Faced Woman
Being So Brave and Unique
Makes You More Alone
Haiku # 1958, September 4, 1999 9:45 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
That Gwyneth Paltrow
She`s really kinda scrawny
Fake English chicken
Haiku # 1957, September 4, 1999 4:34 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
the left one is blue
for my balls doth ache from lunch, fucking dog shit stew
Haiku # 1956, September 2, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by wilbydunn
My appologies
To those that are offended
Poor formatting sucks.
Haiku # 1955, September 2, 1999 7:32 pm ET
by Janis
Small names make for more Enjoyable, easier
To read haiku, Yes?
Haiku # 1954, September 2, 1999 7:30 pm ET
by Janis
I think that it''s fixed
But I''m testing it again
Just to be certain
Haiku # 1953, September 2, 1999 7:28 pm ET
by Janis
I''m very confused
With the formatting issues
I''ll fix it all soon
Haiku # 1952, September 2, 1999 7:27 pm ET
by Janis
Haiku in Yiddish
Means Lift Your Skirt In Public
Catch on America
Haiku # 1951, September 2, 1999 3:42 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Idle Time Hero
My Creative Energy
Just Jizzed the Fishtank
Haiku # 1950, September 2, 1999 3:37 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Stapled Left Thumbnai
Fountains of Plasmic Beauty
DeNiroing Home
Haiku # 1949, September 2, 1999 2:49 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Stapled Left Thumbnail
Haiku # 1948, September 2, 1999 2:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
What vile micturate
Drips down that grimy surface
Could it be BoyZone?
Haiku # 1947, September 2, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few musicians
Are spawned in bubbling vats
Or so they tell us
Haiku # 1946, September 2, 1999 12:32 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I can''t bend the moon
But I''d like to ask for the
Iron Catalogue please.
Haiku # 1945, September 2, 1999 8:11 am ET
by Ed of London, UK
down in the backyard
a rabbit-shit factory
processes pellets
Haiku # 1944, September 2, 1999 5:45 am ET
by ash
splashing in the tank
transmorphic amphibian
not quite a frog
Haiku # 1943, September 2, 1999 5:41 am ET
by ash
stove clock malfunctions
unexpected beeping sounds
fifty-four o''clock
Haiku # 1942, September 2, 1999 5:37 am ET
by ash
Less and less items
Are made triangularly
And soon there''ll be none
Haiku # 1941, September 2, 1999 5:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A minor seventh
Sends me spiralling downwards
Like a falling leaf
Haiku # 1940, September 2, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Radio aerial
Inside my head lies broken
Reception is poor
Haiku # 1939, September 2, 1999 5:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
An inflatable
Vagina lurks by the steps
Who could have left it?
Haiku # 1938, September 2, 1999 5:12 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Are your cameras
Always pointing at the sky
Photographing stars?
Haiku # 1937, September 2, 1999 5:10 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were wealthy
I''d style my hair like that girl
From the Cardigans
Haiku # 1936, September 2, 1999 5:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were a font
I''d have a little x-height
and true descenders
Haiku # 1935, September 2, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do those frail creatures
Constructed from papi
Haiku # 1934, September 2, 1999 5:05 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like brown bottles
They tend to have beer in them
Which is a bonus
Haiku # 1933, August 31, 1999 1:43 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wonder if God
Has gigantic fingernails
For picking his nose?
Haiku # 1932, August 31, 1999 1:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''d be happier
If I was as poseable
As an Action Man
Haiku # 1931, August 31, 1999 1:37 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I was happy when
I had a new Tonka Toy
Ah, those distant days
Haiku # 1930, August 31, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Expressing yourself
In seventeen syllables
Is harder than you think
Haiku # 1929, August 31, 1999 9:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Mmm, Kraft Cheese Slices.
Strange how I find flat foodstuffs
quite so exciting.
Haiku # 1928, August 31, 1999 9:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Vocabulary.
Mine has gone down the toilet.
Must eat Thesaurus
Haiku # 1927, August 31, 1999 9:05 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I am neither nerd
nor puritan technophobe.
I am: METAGEEK
Haiku # 1926, August 31, 1999 9:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
haiku are too short for me
I like really long
long long long long long long
Haiku # 1925, August 30, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Tomsam
Haikus are silly
I hate this site and Haikus
They dont even rhyme
Haiku # 1924, August 30, 1999 9:24 pm ET
by Sam Smith
The Bed I did wet
Straight after I liked it clean
So Mum cannot know
Haiku # 1923, August 30, 1999 8:59 pm ET
by Justin Latimer & Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
A lazy comet
Etches a line in the sky
Like a fingernail
Haiku # 1922, August 30, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The weeks that we work
Amount to nothing more than
Some weeks we worked in
Haiku # 1921, August 30, 1999 1:35 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My infinite well
Of witty retorts is full
Of clicking beetles
Haiku # 1920, August 30, 1999 1:34 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
`Slike ten thousand spoons
when all you need is a spork.
Ironic, innit?
Haiku # 1919, August 30, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My hair all flicks up
Like Thundercat Wileykit;
defies gravity.
Haiku # 1918, August 30, 1999 1:26 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Lying at the end
Of this thing we call a world
Is a big knocker
Haiku # 1917, August 30, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The shiniest teeth
That ever shone in this world
Belong to my dog
Haiku # 1916, August 30, 1999 1:12 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
No-one wears slippers
Any more in our culture
Which explains a lot
Haiku # 1915, August 30, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s little in life
That cannot be improved by
A shiny new pen
Haiku # 1914, August 30, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My owl vents hot gas
Whenever it sees "The Bill"
ITV shall pay
Haiku # 1913, August 30, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I didn''t like ice cream
So much, I''d smear some on you
With a warm finger
Haiku # 1912, August 30, 1999 1:02 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh Jean Luc Picard
Are you lost deep in sub-space?
Or just chilling out?
Haiku # 1911, August 30, 1999 1:01 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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