Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Stapled Left Thumbnail
Haiku # 1948, September 2, 1999 2:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
What vile micturate
Drips down that grimy surface
Could it be BoyZone?
Haiku # 1947, September 2, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few musicians
Are spawned in bubbling vats
Or so they tell us
Haiku # 1946, September 2, 1999 12:32 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I can''t bend the moon
But I''d like to ask for the
Iron Catalogue please.
Haiku # 1945, September 2, 1999 8:11 am ET
by Ed of London, UK
down in the backyard
a rabbit-shit factory
processes pellets
Haiku # 1944, September 2, 1999 5:45 am ET
by ash
splashing in the tank
transmorphic amphibian
not quite a frog
Haiku # 1943, September 2, 1999 5:41 am ET
by ash
stove clock malfunctions
unexpected beeping sounds
fifty-four o''clock
Haiku # 1942, September 2, 1999 5:37 am ET
by ash
Less and less items
Are made triangularly
And soon there''ll be none
Haiku # 1941, September 2, 1999 5:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A minor seventh
Sends me spiralling downwards
Like a falling leaf
Haiku # 1940, September 2, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Radio aerial
Inside my head lies broken
Reception is poor
Haiku # 1939, September 2, 1999 5:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
An inflatable
Vagina lurks by the steps
Who could have left it?
Haiku # 1938, September 2, 1999 5:12 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Are your cameras
Always pointing at the sky
Photographing stars?
Haiku # 1937, September 2, 1999 5:10 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were wealthy
I''d style my hair like that girl
From the Cardigans
Haiku # 1936, September 2, 1999 5:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were a font
I''d have a little x-height
and true descenders
Haiku # 1935, September 2, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do those frail creatures
Constructed from papi
Haiku # 1934, September 2, 1999 5:05 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like brown bottles
They tend to have beer in them
Which is a bonus
Haiku # 1933, August 31, 1999 1:43 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wonder if God
Has gigantic fingernails
For picking his nose?
Haiku # 1932, August 31, 1999 1:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''d be happier
If I was as poseable
As an Action Man
Haiku # 1931, August 31, 1999 1:37 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I was happy when
I had a new Tonka Toy
Ah, those distant days
Haiku # 1930, August 31, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Expressing yourself
In seventeen syllables
Is harder than you think
Haiku # 1929, August 31, 1999 9:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Mmm, Kraft Cheese Slices.
Strange how I find flat foodstuffs
quite so exciting.
Haiku # 1928, August 31, 1999 9:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Vocabulary.
Mine has gone down the toilet.
Must eat Thesaurus
Haiku # 1927, August 31, 1999 9:05 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I am neither nerd
nor puritan technophobe.
I am: METAGEEK
Haiku # 1926, August 31, 1999 9:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
haiku are too short for me
I like really long
long long long long long long
Haiku # 1925, August 30, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Tomsam
Haikus are silly
I hate this site and Haikus
They dont even rhyme
Haiku # 1924, August 30, 1999 9:24 pm ET
by Sam Smith
The Bed I did wet
Straight after I liked it clean
So Mum cannot know
Haiku # 1923, August 30, 1999 8:59 pm ET
by Justin Latimer & Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
A lazy comet
Etches a line in the sky
Like a fingernail
Haiku # 1922, August 30, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The weeks that we work
Amount to nothing more than
Some weeks we worked in
Haiku # 1921, August 30, 1999 1:35 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My infinite well
Of witty retorts is full
Of clicking beetles
Haiku # 1920, August 30, 1999 1:34 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
`Slike ten thousand spoons
when all you need is a spork.
Ironic, innit?
Haiku # 1919, August 30, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My hair all flicks up
Like Thundercat Wileykit;
defies gravity.
Haiku # 1918, August 30, 1999 1:26 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Lying at the end
Of this thing we call a world
Is a big knocker
Haiku # 1917, August 30, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The shiniest teeth
That ever shone in this world
Belong to my dog
Haiku # 1916, August 30, 1999 1:12 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
No-one wears slippers
Any more in our culture
Which explains a lot
Haiku # 1915, August 30, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s little in life
That cannot be improved by
A shiny new pen
Haiku # 1914, August 30, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My owl vents hot gas
Whenever it sees "The Bill"
ITV shall pay
Haiku # 1913, August 30, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I didn''t like ice cream
So much, I''d smear some on you
With a warm finger
Haiku # 1912, August 30, 1999 1:02 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh Jean Luc Picard
Are you lost deep in sub-space?
Or just chilling out?
Haiku # 1911, August 30, 1999 1:01 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A dog and water
Is a bad combination
If you don`t like smells
Haiku # 1910, August 30, 1999 10:33 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Champagne Wispa Bar?
Perverse or just misguided?
Flaming pessary!
Haiku # 1909, August 30, 1999 9:25 am ET
by Salamander Pastiche of Mmmm..., Euclidian!
When I was but five
I encountered flatulence
close to my head.
Haiku # 1908, August 30, 1999 9:14 am ET
by They call me Scrunty of Hmm?
I have six bright balls
Which I attempt to juggle
I can manage three
Haiku # 1907, August 30, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My luminous tape
Sits beside me, all sticky
Like old underpants
Haiku # 1906, August 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I found a feather
Embedded in my T-shirt
Is it an omen?
Haiku # 1905, August 30, 1999 3:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do not microwave
From frozen, the packet says
It doesn''t say why
Haiku # 1904, August 30, 1999 3:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I feel like I felt
That time when I felt funny
Only funnier
Haiku # 1903, August 30, 1999 3:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Stupid stupid bird
Cat why don''t you go eat itIf you don''t, I will!!
Haiku # 1902, August 29, 1999 2:20 pm ET
by Ivona Humpalot of Ivonahumpalotcity, Mongolia
bob was a small boy
with a very small penis
his parents were dead
Haiku # 1901, August 29, 1999 2:19 pm ET
by bob mcneil of shitville, pns country
If I had some cheese
I would eat it for my lunch
As it is yummy
Haiku # 1900, August 29, 1999 2:18 pm ET
by Cheesy Man of Cheese, Cheez
Microsoft is dumb
It stuffs up my computer
I hate Microsoft
Haiku # 1899, August 29, 1999 2:16 pm ET
by Pooman of Pooville, Pooland
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