Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

The weeks that we work
Amount to nothing more than
Some weeks we worked in
Haiku # 1921, August 30, 1999 1:35 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My infinite well
Of witty retorts is full
Of clicking beetles
Haiku # 1920, August 30, 1999 1:34 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
`Slike ten thousand spoons
when all you need is a spork.
Ironic, innit?
Haiku # 1919, August 30, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My hair all flicks up
Like Thundercat Wileykit;
defies gravity.
Haiku # 1918, August 30, 1999 1:26 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Lying at the end
Of this thing we call a world
Is a big knocker
Haiku # 1917, August 30, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The shiniest teeth
That ever shone in this world
Belong to my dog
Haiku # 1916, August 30, 1999 1:12 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
No-one wears slippers
Any more in our culture
Which explains a lot
Haiku # 1915, August 30, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s little in life
That cannot be improved by
A shiny new pen
Haiku # 1914, August 30, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My owl vents hot gas
Whenever it sees "The Bill"
ITV shall pay
Haiku # 1913, August 30, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I didn''t like ice cream
So much, I''d smear some on you
With a warm finger
Haiku # 1912, August 30, 1999 1:02 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh Jean Luc Picard
Are you lost deep in sub-space?
Or just chilling out?
Haiku # 1911, August 30, 1999 1:01 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A dog and water
Is a bad combination
If you don`t like smells
Haiku # 1910, August 30, 1999 10:33 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Champagne Wispa Bar?
Perverse or just misguided?
Flaming pessary!
Haiku # 1909, August 30, 1999 9:25 am ET
by Salamander Pastiche of Mmmm..., Euclidian!
When I was but five
I encountered flatulence
close to my head.
Haiku # 1908, August 30, 1999 9:14 am ET
by They call me Scrunty of Hmm?
I have six bright balls
Which I attempt to juggle
I can manage three
Haiku # 1907, August 30, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My luminous tape
Sits beside me, all sticky
Like old underpants
Haiku # 1906, August 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I found a feather
Embedded in my T-shirt
Is it an omen?
Haiku # 1905, August 30, 1999 3:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do not microwave
From frozen, the packet says
It doesn''t say why
Haiku # 1904, August 30, 1999 3:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I feel like I felt
That time when I felt funny
Only funnier
Haiku # 1903, August 30, 1999 3:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Stupid stupid bird
Cat why don''t you go eat itIf you don''t, I will!!
Haiku # 1902, August 29, 1999 2:20 pm ET
by Ivona Humpalot of Ivonahumpalotcity, Mongolia
bob was a small boy
with a very small penis
his parents were dead
Haiku # 1901, August 29, 1999 2:19 pm ET
by bob mcneil of shitville, pns country
If I had some cheese
I would eat it for my lunch
As it is yummy
Haiku # 1900, August 29, 1999 2:18 pm ET
by Cheesy Man of Cheese, Cheez
Microsoft is dumb
It stuffs up my computer
I hate Microsoft
Haiku # 1899, August 29, 1999 2:16 pm ET
by Pooman of Pooville, Pooland
Haiku # 1898, August 29, 1999 2:14 pm ET
by Pooman
Dog Breath is fun, yum!
I eat cheese every day
Run Spot Run, KABOOM!
Haiku # 1897, August 29, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by Chingtingalingtingching of Umm? I forgot, Cheese
I am a big dog
I have a big small tail
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof
Haiku # 1896, August 29, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
Bad Mashed Potato
It tastes horribly pooey
Yummy yummy yum
Haiku # 1895, August 29, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am Mynci Mark
I`ve got my hind in your hood
we are all so doomed.
Haiku # 1894, August 29, 1999 11:54 am ET
by The Brothers Fudge of Mandible West, Outer Bazonga
Mark is a mynci
he makes mynci sounds like a
big metamynciman
Haiku # 1893, August 29, 1999 11:49 am ET
by Ancillary 'Scrunty' Spatula of Boutroland, Kenya?
I am called Kenneht
I come from the Middle East
Hence the odd spelling
Haiku # 1892, August 28, 1999 10:53 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Now I wake at four
In the morning, not pm
God, it''s tedious
Haiku # 1891, August 28, 1999 10:52 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Men came in the night
To take my big red machine
Alack, they were foiled
Haiku # 1890, August 28, 1999 10:49 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Two new batteries
In my electric stapler
Make it go "kapwingg!"
Haiku # 1889, August 28, 1999 10:48 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
regard the large sky
beneath which we suspended
dangle for a time
Haiku # 1888, August 28, 1999 5:46 am ET
by ash
fear i the raptor
swooping on my fuselage
with a big pecker
Haiku # 1887, August 28, 1999 5:43 am ET
by ash
Look! I`ve got two things.
You`ve one thing, flanked by two more.
None as big as hoped.
Haiku # 1886, August 28, 1999 4:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Moon hung in the sky
Like that big Batman signal
But no manbat came.
Haiku # 1885, August 28, 1999 4:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Played Curry Wars yet?
My naan`s bigger than your naan;
Kryptonite lassi.
Haiku # 1884, August 28, 1999 4:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Curry with big naan.
Love the taste, but hate the smell!
Thank god for Febreze.
Haiku # 1883, August 28, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
or should jar jar say
with more appropos accent:
"give me your seed, mon"
Haiku # 1882, August 27, 1999 3:32 pm ET
by darth videous
Why would aliens
want to have sex with earthlings?
"man, give me your seed"
Haiku # 1881, August 27, 1999 3:23 pm ET
by jar jar boinks
Don't ask Sebulba
for a hand job, or he will
fall over sideways
Haiku # 1880, August 27, 1999 3:06 pm ET
by aniskin
I did a princess.
She ordered my soldier to
Stand at attention
Haiku # 1879, August 27, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by stormtrooper
jawas are so bad
they can only get off with
masochistic droids
Haiku # 1878, August 27, 1999 2:36 pm ET
by see-pee-three-oh
How do Jawas
reproduce with big, wrinkly
black tar pee-pees?
Haiku # 1877, August 27, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Princess Lay-her
Oh damn, I forget.
Mum, what is the Spanish for
''I am a rent boy''?
Haiku # 1876, August 27, 1999 9:12 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Aiee, chico nino.
Senor Smeeth acqui, pero
jo no hay pesos.
Haiku # 1875, August 27, 1999 9:10 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hola Senor Smeeth,
Que tal? Me llamo Pedro.
Quiero tu pesos.
Haiku # 1874, August 27, 1999 9:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
With sunglasses on,
I look just like Jackie O.
Without them; Pedro.
Haiku # 1873, August 27, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Little clockwork nun,
With your breath of fiery sparks.
Would you bite my thing?
Haiku # 1872, August 27, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
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