Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77433 Haiku later...

Dog Breath is fun, yum!
I eat cheese every day
Run Spot Run, KABOOM!
Haiku # 1897, August 29, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by Chingtingalingtingching of Umm? I forgot, Cheese
I am a big dog
I have a big small tail
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof
Haiku # 1896, August 29, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
Bad Mashed Potato
It tastes horribly pooey
Yummy yummy yum
Haiku # 1895, August 29, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am Mynci Mark
I`ve got my hind in your hood
we are all so doomed.
Haiku # 1894, August 29, 1999 11:54 am ET
by The Brothers Fudge of Mandible West, Outer Bazonga
Mark is a mynci
he makes mynci sounds like a
big metamynciman
Haiku # 1893, August 29, 1999 11:49 am ET
by Ancillary 'Scrunty' Spatula of Boutroland, Kenya?
I am called Kenneht
I come from the Middle East
Hence the odd spelling
Haiku # 1892, August 28, 1999 10:53 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Now I wake at four
In the morning, not pm
God, it''s tedious
Haiku # 1891, August 28, 1999 10:52 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Men came in the night
To take my big red machine
Alack, they were foiled
Haiku # 1890, August 28, 1999 10:49 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Two new batteries
In my electric stapler
Make it go "kapwingg!"
Haiku # 1889, August 28, 1999 10:48 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
regard the large sky
beneath which we suspended
dangle for a time
Haiku # 1888, August 28, 1999 5:46 am ET
by ash
fear i the raptor
swooping on my fuselage
with a big pecker
Haiku # 1887, August 28, 1999 5:43 am ET
by ash
Look! I`ve got two things.
You`ve one thing, flanked by two more.
None as big as hoped.
Haiku # 1886, August 28, 1999 4:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Moon hung in the sky
Like that big Batman signal
But no manbat came.
Haiku # 1885, August 28, 1999 4:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Played Curry Wars yet?
My naan`s bigger than your naan;
Kryptonite lassi.
Haiku # 1884, August 28, 1999 4:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Curry with big naan.
Love the taste, but hate the smell!
Thank god for Febreze.
Haiku # 1883, August 28, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
or should jar jar say
with more appropos accent:
"give me your seed, mon"
Haiku # 1882, August 27, 1999 3:32 pm ET
by darth videous
Why would aliens
want to have sex with earthlings?
"man, give me your seed"
Haiku # 1881, August 27, 1999 3:23 pm ET
by jar jar boinks
Don't ask Sebulba
for a hand job, or he will
fall over sideways
Haiku # 1880, August 27, 1999 3:06 pm ET
by aniskin
I did a princess.
She ordered my soldier to
Stand at attention
Haiku # 1879, August 27, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by stormtrooper
jawas are so bad
they can only get off with
masochistic droids
Haiku # 1878, August 27, 1999 2:36 pm ET
by see-pee-three-oh
How do Jawas
reproduce with big, wrinkly
black tar pee-pees?
Haiku # 1877, August 27, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Princess Lay-her
Oh damn, I forget.
Mum, what is the Spanish for
''I am a rent boy''?
Haiku # 1876, August 27, 1999 9:12 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Aiee, chico nino.
Senor Smeeth acqui, pero
jo no hay pesos.
Haiku # 1875, August 27, 1999 9:10 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hola Senor Smeeth,
Que tal? Me llamo Pedro.
Quiero tu pesos.
Haiku # 1874, August 27, 1999 9:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
With sunglasses on,
I look just like Jackie O.
Without them; Pedro.
Haiku # 1873, August 27, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Little clockwork nun,
With your breath of fiery sparks.
Would you bite my thing?
Haiku # 1872, August 27, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I search and destroy.
No longer harmless girlie.
Yes, I`m twenty-four.
Haiku # 1871, August 27, 1999 8:52 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Still I am perplexed
by that sky-blue candy floss.
And I`ve been out, too.
Haiku # 1870, August 27, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
hump your clone
is itautoeroticism, orjust incestuous?
Haiku # 1869, August 27, 1999 1:33 am ET
by pawme
I have stuff to do.
I have so much stuff to do.
Ooh, look
Haiku # 1868, August 26, 1999 8:57 am ET
by ''Hollyoaks''.
That''s Bob 5 percent
There, by the coffee machine
Buying white coffee
Haiku # 1867, August 26, 1999 7:53 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
See that little light?
Twinkling in the sky, yonder?
No, I can`t either
Haiku # 1866, August 26, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am king of trees
I am master of light bulbs
Teapot, anyone?
Haiku # 1865, August 26, 1999 7:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Two threes make a six
But two wrongs don`t make a right
Synchronicity?
Haiku # 1864, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Yeah you fat drunkard
you could easily hurt me
with all your friends here
While you''re drinking Bass
I''ll be reminding your wife
how stupid you are
Haiku # 1863, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Fruity
With Funny Bunny
And sullen Jimmy Gerbal
we piss on Laa-Laa
Haiku # 1862, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Fruity
Make bigger your text
And your message you weaken
Like uh, a balloon
Haiku # 1861, August 26, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
what the fucking hell!!!!
those damn blue collar tweakers
are at it again
Haiku # 1860, August 25, 1999 7:02 pm ET
by Infinity
you never see them
without robes on
Haiku # 1859, August 25, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by jawas must be really ugly
Send me a toenail
In an enormous package
And I won"t find it
Haiku # 1858, August 24, 1999 10:58 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
In certain wild dreams
I was you and you were me
What should I call you?
Haiku # 1857, August 24, 1999 10:52 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
What? no more tags?
Blind one needs bigger text
two-tone cute but...Squint.
Haiku # 1856, August 24, 1999 10:02 pm ET
by antichrist of Babylon,
lift my cheek and.. poot !
sweet onomatopoeia
left a wet tattoo
Haiku # 1855, August 24, 1999 5:34 am ET
by ash
i wrote a haiku
with one extra syllable
shame eats my organs
Haiku # 1854, August 23, 1999 6:01 am ET
by chris
Get beyond I say
That is my advice to you
Send me a postcard
Haiku # 1853, August 22, 1999 10:03 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
Get beyond I say
That is my advice to you
Send me a postcard
Haiku # 1852, August 22, 1999 10:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My subversive heart
Is thousands of feet in height
Get me a doctor
Haiku # 1851, August 22, 1999 9:59 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
I''ve returned to say
I can break boards with my cock
Egads-a splinter!
Haiku # 1850, August 22, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
one two three four five
six seven eight nine and ten
eleven and twelve
Haiku # 1849, August 22, 1999 7:52 pm ET
by kaRa leah of dallas,
I learned something new
my gramps fell asleep smoking
beards are flammable
Haiku # 1848, August 22, 1999 2:32 pm ET
by manic bartender