Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Look! I`ve got two things.
You`ve one thing, flanked by two more.
None as big as hoped.
Haiku # 1886, August 28, 1999 4:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Moon hung in the sky
Like that big Batman signal
But no manbat came.
Haiku # 1885, August 28, 1999 4:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Played Curry Wars yet?
My naan`s bigger than your naan;
Kryptonite lassi.
Haiku # 1884, August 28, 1999 4:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Curry with big naan.
Love the taste, but hate the smell!
Thank god for Febreze.
Haiku # 1883, August 28, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
or should jar jar say
with more appropos accent:
"give me your seed, mon"
Haiku # 1882, August 27, 1999 3:32 pm ET
by darth videous
Why would aliens
want to have sex with earthlings?
"man, give me your seed"
Haiku # 1881, August 27, 1999 3:23 pm ET
by jar jar boinks
Don't ask Sebulba
for a hand job, or he will
fall over sideways
Haiku # 1880, August 27, 1999 3:06 pm ET
by aniskin
I did a princess.
She ordered my soldier to
Stand at attention
Haiku # 1879, August 27, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by stormtrooper
jawas are so bad
they can only get off with
masochistic droids
Haiku # 1878, August 27, 1999 2:36 pm ET
by see-pee-three-oh
How do Jawas
reproduce with big, wrinkly
black tar pee-pees?
Haiku # 1877, August 27, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Princess Lay-her
Oh damn, I forget.
Mum, what is the Spanish for
''I am a rent boy''?
Haiku # 1876, August 27, 1999 9:12 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Aiee, chico nino.
Senor Smeeth acqui, pero
jo no hay pesos.
Haiku # 1875, August 27, 1999 9:10 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hola Senor Smeeth,
Que tal? Me llamo Pedro.
Quiero tu pesos.
Haiku # 1874, August 27, 1999 9:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
With sunglasses on,
I look just like Jackie O.
Without them; Pedro.
Haiku # 1873, August 27, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Little clockwork nun,
With your breath of fiery sparks.
Would you bite my thing?
Haiku # 1872, August 27, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I search and destroy.
No longer harmless girlie.
Yes, I`m twenty-four.
Haiku # 1871, August 27, 1999 8:52 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Still I am perplexed
by that sky-blue candy floss.
And I`ve been out, too.
Haiku # 1870, August 27, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
hump your clone
is itautoeroticism, orjust incestuous?
Haiku # 1869, August 27, 1999 1:33 am ET
by pawme
I have stuff to do.
I have so much stuff to do.
Ooh, look
Haiku # 1868, August 26, 1999 8:57 am ET
by ''Hollyoaks''.
That''s Bob 5 percent
There, by the coffee machine
Buying white coffee
Haiku # 1867, August 26, 1999 7:53 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
See that little light?
Twinkling in the sky, yonder?
No, I can`t either
Haiku # 1866, August 26, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am king of trees
I am master of light bulbs
Teapot, anyone?
Haiku # 1865, August 26, 1999 7:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Two threes make a six
But two wrongs don`t make a right
Synchronicity?
Haiku # 1864, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Yeah you fat drunkard
you could easily hurt me
with all your friends here
While you''re drinking Bass
I''ll be reminding your wife
how stupid you are
Haiku # 1863, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Fruity
With Funny Bunny
And sullen Jimmy Gerbal
we piss on Laa-Laa
Haiku # 1862, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Fruity
Make bigger your text
And your message you weaken
Like uh, a balloon
Haiku # 1861, August 26, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
what the fucking hell!!!!
those damn blue collar tweakers
are at it again
Haiku # 1860, August 25, 1999 7:02 pm ET
by Infinity
you never see them
without robes on
Haiku # 1859, August 25, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by jawas must be really ugly
Send me a toenail
In an enormous package
And I won"t find it
Haiku # 1858, August 24, 1999 10:58 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
In certain wild dreams
I was you and you were me
What should I call you?
Haiku # 1857, August 24, 1999 10:52 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
What? no more tags?
Blind one needs bigger text
two-tone cute but...Squint.
Haiku # 1856, August 24, 1999 10:02 pm ET
by antichrist of Babylon,
lift my cheek and.. poot !
sweet onomatopoeia
left a wet tattoo
Haiku # 1855, August 24, 1999 5:34 am ET
by ash
i wrote a haiku
with one extra syllable
shame eats my organs
Haiku # 1854, August 23, 1999 6:01 am ET
by chris
Get beyond I say
That is my advice to you
Send me a postcard
Haiku # 1853, August 22, 1999 10:03 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
Get beyond I say
That is my advice to you
Send me a postcard
Haiku # 1852, August 22, 1999 10:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My subversive heart
Is thousands of feet in height
Get me a doctor
Haiku # 1851, August 22, 1999 9:59 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
I''ve returned to say
I can break boards with my cock
Egads-a splinter!
Haiku # 1850, August 22, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
one two three four five
six seven eight nine and ten
eleven and twelve
Haiku # 1849, August 22, 1999 7:52 pm ET
by kaRa leah of dallas,
I learned something new
my gramps fell asleep smoking
beards are flammable
Haiku # 1848, August 22, 1999 2:32 pm ET
by manic bartender
ha ha you drunk ass
fell asleep with your head in
the toilet again
Haiku # 1847, August 22, 1999 2:16 pm ET
by manic bartender
I touched a moonbeam
I found in the morning dew
It smelled real funny
Haiku # 1846, August 22, 1999 1:22 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I left chocolate
On the microwave oven
And it all melted
Haiku # 1845, August 22, 1999 1:20 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Little lights twinkle
Like the lights of aeroplanes
Landing at Heathrow
Haiku # 1844, August 22, 1999 1:19 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It''s on nights like this
That I like to wear my pants
And that''s about it
Haiku # 1843, August 22, 1999 1:17 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
bust yo fool head in
you diss my ma, you steppin?
I pump the lead in
Haiku # 1842, August 22, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by ghetto
my brother got sick
he ate green olives. they were
supposed to be black
Haiku # 1841, August 22, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by manic bartender
can anybody
understand the singer from
deftones? hell, not me!
Haiku # 1840, August 22, 1999 1:02 pm ET
by manic bartender
I did it again
clicked ''enter'' way too early
give me some money
Haiku # 1839, August 22, 1999 12:56 pm ET
by manic bartender
Haiku # 1838, August 22, 1999 12:55 pm ET
by manic bartender
I''m scared to think it -
My father comes tomorrow with
his wife. Don''t like me.
Haiku # 1837, August 21, 1999 10:12 pm ET
by Sherri Reid of Bellevue, USA