Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

When I was but five
I encountered flatulence
close to my head.
Haiku # 1908, August 30, 1999 9:14 am ET
by They call me Scrunty of Hmm?
I have six bright balls
Which I attempt to juggle
I can manage three
Haiku # 1907, August 30, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My luminous tape
Sits beside me, all sticky
Like old underpants
Haiku # 1906, August 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I found a feather
Embedded in my T-shirt
Is it an omen?
Haiku # 1905, August 30, 1999 3:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do not microwave
From frozen, the packet says
It doesn''t say why
Haiku # 1904, August 30, 1999 3:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I feel like I felt
That time when I felt funny
Only funnier
Haiku # 1903, August 30, 1999 3:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Stupid stupid bird
Cat why don''t you go eat itIf you don''t, I will!!
Haiku # 1902, August 29, 1999 2:20 pm ET
by Ivona Humpalot of Ivonahumpalotcity, Mongolia
bob was a small boy
with a very small penis
his parents were dead
Haiku # 1901, August 29, 1999 2:19 pm ET
by bob mcneil of shitville, pns country
If I had some cheese
I would eat it for my lunch
As it is yummy
Haiku # 1900, August 29, 1999 2:18 pm ET
by Cheesy Man of Cheese, Cheez
Microsoft is dumb
It stuffs up my computer
I hate Microsoft
Haiku # 1899, August 29, 1999 2:16 pm ET
by Pooman of Pooville, Pooland
Haiku # 1898, August 29, 1999 2:14 pm ET
by Pooman
Dog Breath is fun, yum!
I eat cheese every day
Run Spot Run, KABOOM!
Haiku # 1897, August 29, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by Chingtingalingtingching of Umm? I forgot, Cheese
I am a big dog
I have a big small tail
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof
Haiku # 1896, August 29, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
Bad Mashed Potato
It tastes horribly pooey
Yummy yummy yum
Haiku # 1895, August 29, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am Mynci Mark
I`ve got my hind in your hood
we are all so doomed.
Haiku # 1894, August 29, 1999 11:54 am ET
by The Brothers Fudge of Mandible West, Outer Bazonga
Mark is a mynci
he makes mynci sounds like a
big metamynciman
Haiku # 1893, August 29, 1999 11:49 am ET
by Ancillary 'Scrunty' Spatula of Boutroland, Kenya?
I am called Kenneht
I come from the Middle East
Hence the odd spelling
Haiku # 1892, August 28, 1999 10:53 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Now I wake at four
In the morning, not pm
God, it''s tedious
Haiku # 1891, August 28, 1999 10:52 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Men came in the night
To take my big red machine
Alack, they were foiled
Haiku # 1890, August 28, 1999 10:49 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Two new batteries
In my electric stapler
Make it go "kapwingg!"
Haiku # 1889, August 28, 1999 10:48 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
regard the large sky
beneath which we suspended
dangle for a time
Haiku # 1888, August 28, 1999 5:46 am ET
by ash
fear i the raptor
swooping on my fuselage
with a big pecker
Haiku # 1887, August 28, 1999 5:43 am ET
by ash
Look! I`ve got two things.
You`ve one thing, flanked by two more.
None as big as hoped.
Haiku # 1886, August 28, 1999 4:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Moon hung in the sky
Like that big Batman signal
But no manbat came.
Haiku # 1885, August 28, 1999 4:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Played Curry Wars yet?
My naan`s bigger than your naan;
Kryptonite lassi.
Haiku # 1884, August 28, 1999 4:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Curry with big naan.
Love the taste, but hate the smell!
Thank god for Febreze.
Haiku # 1883, August 28, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
or should jar jar say
with more appropos accent:
"give me your seed, mon"
Haiku # 1882, August 27, 1999 3:32 pm ET
by darth videous
Why would aliens
want to have sex with earthlings?
"man, give me your seed"
Haiku # 1881, August 27, 1999 3:23 pm ET
by jar jar boinks
Don't ask Sebulba
for a hand job, or he will
fall over sideways
Haiku # 1880, August 27, 1999 3:06 pm ET
by aniskin
I did a princess.
She ordered my soldier to
Stand at attention
Haiku # 1879, August 27, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by stormtrooper
jawas are so bad
they can only get off with
masochistic droids
Haiku # 1878, August 27, 1999 2:36 pm ET
by see-pee-three-oh
How do Jawas
reproduce with big, wrinkly
black tar pee-pees?
Haiku # 1877, August 27, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Princess Lay-her
Oh damn, I forget.
Mum, what is the Spanish for
''I am a rent boy''?
Haiku # 1876, August 27, 1999 9:12 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Aiee, chico nino.
Senor Smeeth acqui, pero
jo no hay pesos.
Haiku # 1875, August 27, 1999 9:10 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hola Senor Smeeth,
Que tal? Me llamo Pedro.
Quiero tu pesos.
Haiku # 1874, August 27, 1999 9:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
With sunglasses on,
I look just like Jackie O.
Without them; Pedro.
Haiku # 1873, August 27, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Little clockwork nun,
With your breath of fiery sparks.
Would you bite my thing?
Haiku # 1872, August 27, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I search and destroy.
No longer harmless girlie.
Yes, I`m twenty-four.
Haiku # 1871, August 27, 1999 8:52 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Still I am perplexed
by that sky-blue candy floss.
And I`ve been out, too.
Haiku # 1870, August 27, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
hump your clone
is itautoeroticism, orjust incestuous?
Haiku # 1869, August 27, 1999 1:33 am ET
by pawme
I have stuff to do.
I have so much stuff to do.
Ooh, look
Haiku # 1868, August 26, 1999 8:57 am ET
by ''Hollyoaks''.
That''s Bob 5 percent
There, by the coffee machine
Buying white coffee
Haiku # 1867, August 26, 1999 7:53 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
See that little light?
Twinkling in the sky, yonder?
No, I can`t either
Haiku # 1866, August 26, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am king of trees
I am master of light bulbs
Teapot, anyone?
Haiku # 1865, August 26, 1999 7:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Two threes make a six
But two wrongs don`t make a right
Synchronicity?
Haiku # 1864, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Yeah you fat drunkard
you could easily hurt me
with all your friends here
While you''re drinking Bass
I''ll be reminding your wife
how stupid you are
Haiku # 1863, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Fruity
With Funny Bunny
And sullen Jimmy Gerbal
we piss on Laa-Laa
Haiku # 1862, August 26, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Fruity
Make bigger your text
And your message you weaken
Like uh, a balloon
Haiku # 1861, August 26, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
what the fucking hell!!!!
those damn blue collar tweakers
are at it again
Haiku # 1860, August 25, 1999 7:02 pm ET
by Infinity
you never see them
without robes on
Haiku # 1859, August 25, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by jawas must be really ugly
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