Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

There''s little in life
That cannot be improved by
A shiny new pen
Haiku # 1914, August 30, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My owl vents hot gas
Whenever it sees "The Bill"
ITV shall pay
Haiku # 1913, August 30, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I didn''t like ice cream
So much, I''d smear some on you
With a warm finger
Haiku # 1912, August 30, 1999 1:02 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh Jean Luc Picard
Are you lost deep in sub-space?
Or just chilling out?
Haiku # 1911, August 30, 1999 1:01 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A dog and water
Is a bad combination
If you don`t like smells
Haiku # 1910, August 30, 1999 10:33 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Champagne Wispa Bar?
Perverse or just misguided?
Flaming pessary!
Haiku # 1909, August 30, 1999 9:25 am ET
by Salamander Pastiche of Mmmm..., Euclidian!
When I was but five
I encountered flatulence
close to my head.
Haiku # 1908, August 30, 1999 9:14 am ET
by They call me Scrunty of Hmm?
I have six bright balls
Which I attempt to juggle
I can manage three
Haiku # 1907, August 30, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My luminous tape
Sits beside me, all sticky
Like old underpants
Haiku # 1906, August 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I found a feather
Embedded in my T-shirt
Is it an omen?
Haiku # 1905, August 30, 1999 3:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do not microwave
From frozen, the packet says
It doesn''t say why
Haiku # 1904, August 30, 1999 3:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I feel like I felt
That time when I felt funny
Only funnier
Haiku # 1903, August 30, 1999 3:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Stupid stupid bird
Cat why don''t you go eat itIf you don''t, I will!!
Haiku # 1902, August 29, 1999 2:20 pm ET
by Ivona Humpalot of Ivonahumpalotcity, Mongolia
bob was a small boy
with a very small penis
his parents were dead
Haiku # 1901, August 29, 1999 2:19 pm ET
by bob mcneil of shitville, pns country
If I had some cheese
I would eat it for my lunch
As it is yummy
Haiku # 1900, August 29, 1999 2:18 pm ET
by Cheesy Man of Cheese, Cheez
Microsoft is dumb
It stuffs up my computer
I hate Microsoft
Haiku # 1899, August 29, 1999 2:16 pm ET
by Pooman of Pooville, Pooland
Haiku # 1898, August 29, 1999 2:14 pm ET
by Pooman
Dog Breath is fun, yum!
I eat cheese every day
Run Spot Run, KABOOM!
Haiku # 1897, August 29, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by Chingtingalingtingching of Umm? I forgot, Cheese
I am a big dog
I have a big small tail
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof
Haiku # 1896, August 29, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
Bad Mashed Potato
It tastes horribly pooey
Yummy yummy yum
Haiku # 1895, August 29, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am Mynci Mark
I`ve got my hind in your hood
we are all so doomed.
Haiku # 1894, August 29, 1999 11:54 am ET
by The Brothers Fudge of Mandible West, Outer Bazonga
Mark is a mynci
he makes mynci sounds like a
big metamynciman
Haiku # 1893, August 29, 1999 11:49 am ET
by Ancillary 'Scrunty' Spatula of Boutroland, Kenya?
I am called Kenneht
I come from the Middle East
Hence the odd spelling
Haiku # 1892, August 28, 1999 10:53 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Now I wake at four
In the morning, not pm
God, it''s tedious
Haiku # 1891, August 28, 1999 10:52 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Men came in the night
To take my big red machine
Alack, they were foiled
Haiku # 1890, August 28, 1999 10:49 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Two new batteries
In my electric stapler
Make it go "kapwingg!"
Haiku # 1889, August 28, 1999 10:48 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
regard the large sky
beneath which we suspended
dangle for a time
Haiku # 1888, August 28, 1999 5:46 am ET
by ash
fear i the raptor
swooping on my fuselage
with a big pecker
Haiku # 1887, August 28, 1999 5:43 am ET
by ash
Look! I`ve got two things.
You`ve one thing, flanked by two more.
None as big as hoped.
Haiku # 1886, August 28, 1999 4:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Moon hung in the sky
Like that big Batman signal
But no manbat came.
Haiku # 1885, August 28, 1999 4:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Played Curry Wars yet?
My naan`s bigger than your naan;
Kryptonite lassi.
Haiku # 1884, August 28, 1999 4:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Curry with big naan.
Love the taste, but hate the smell!
Thank god for Febreze.
Haiku # 1883, August 28, 1999 4:25 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
or should jar jar say
with more appropos accent:
"give me your seed, mon"
Haiku # 1882, August 27, 1999 3:32 pm ET
by darth videous
Why would aliens
want to have sex with earthlings?
"man, give me your seed"
Haiku # 1881, August 27, 1999 3:23 pm ET
by jar jar boinks
Don't ask Sebulba
for a hand job, or he will
fall over sideways
Haiku # 1880, August 27, 1999 3:06 pm ET
by aniskin
I did a princess.
She ordered my soldier to
Stand at attention
Haiku # 1879, August 27, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by stormtrooper
jawas are so bad
they can only get off with
masochistic droids
Haiku # 1878, August 27, 1999 2:36 pm ET
by see-pee-three-oh
How do Jawas
reproduce with big, wrinkly
black tar pee-pees?
Haiku # 1877, August 27, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Princess Lay-her
Oh damn, I forget.
Mum, what is the Spanish for
''I am a rent boy''?
Haiku # 1876, August 27, 1999 9:12 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Aiee, chico nino.
Senor Smeeth acqui, pero
jo no hay pesos.
Haiku # 1875, August 27, 1999 9:10 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hola Senor Smeeth,
Que tal? Me llamo Pedro.
Quiero tu pesos.
Haiku # 1874, August 27, 1999 9:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
With sunglasses on,
I look just like Jackie O.
Without them; Pedro.
Haiku # 1873, August 27, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Little clockwork nun,
With your breath of fiery sparks.
Would you bite my thing?
Haiku # 1872, August 27, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I search and destroy.
No longer harmless girlie.
Yes, I`m twenty-four.
Haiku # 1871, August 27, 1999 8:52 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Still I am perplexed
by that sky-blue candy floss.
And I`ve been out, too.
Haiku # 1870, August 27, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
hump your clone
is itautoeroticism, orjust incestuous?
Haiku # 1869, August 27, 1999 1:33 am ET
by pawme
I have stuff to do.
I have so much stuff to do.
Ooh, look
Haiku # 1868, August 26, 1999 8:57 am ET
by ''Hollyoaks''.
That''s Bob 5 percent
There, by the coffee machine
Buying white coffee
Haiku # 1867, August 26, 1999 7:53 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
See that little light?
Twinkling in the sky, yonder?
No, I can`t either
Haiku # 1866, August 26, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am king of trees
I am master of light bulbs
Teapot, anyone?
Haiku # 1865, August 26, 1999 7:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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