Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

An inflatable
Vagina lurks by the steps
Who could have left it?
Haiku # 1938, September 2, 1999 5:12 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Are your cameras
Always pointing at the sky
Photographing stars?
Haiku # 1937, September 2, 1999 5:10 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were wealthy
I''d style my hair like that girl
From the Cardigans
Haiku # 1936, September 2, 1999 5:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were a font
I''d have a little x-height
and true descenders
Haiku # 1935, September 2, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do those frail creatures
Constructed from papi
Haiku # 1934, September 2, 1999 5:05 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like brown bottles
They tend to have beer in them
Which is a bonus
Haiku # 1933, August 31, 1999 1:43 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wonder if God
Has gigantic fingernails
For picking his nose?
Haiku # 1932, August 31, 1999 1:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''d be happier
If I was as poseable
As an Action Man
Haiku # 1931, August 31, 1999 1:37 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I was happy when
I had a new Tonka Toy
Ah, those distant days
Haiku # 1930, August 31, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Expressing yourself
In seventeen syllables
Is harder than you think
Haiku # 1929, August 31, 1999 9:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Mmm, Kraft Cheese Slices.
Strange how I find flat foodstuffs
quite so exciting.
Haiku # 1928, August 31, 1999 9:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Vocabulary.
Mine has gone down the toilet.
Must eat Thesaurus
Haiku # 1927, August 31, 1999 9:05 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I am neither nerd
nor puritan technophobe.
I am: METAGEEK
Haiku # 1926, August 31, 1999 9:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
haiku are too short for me
I like really long
long long long long long long
Haiku # 1925, August 30, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Tomsam
Haikus are silly
I hate this site and Haikus
They dont even rhyme
Haiku # 1924, August 30, 1999 9:24 pm ET
by Sam Smith
The Bed I did wet
Straight after I liked it clean
So Mum cannot know
Haiku # 1923, August 30, 1999 8:59 pm ET
by Justin Latimer & Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
A lazy comet
Etches a line in the sky
Like a fingernail
Haiku # 1922, August 30, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The weeks that we work
Amount to nothing more than
Some weeks we worked in
Haiku # 1921, August 30, 1999 1:35 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My infinite well
Of witty retorts is full
Of clicking beetles
Haiku # 1920, August 30, 1999 1:34 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
`Slike ten thousand spoons
when all you need is a spork.
Ironic, innit?
Haiku # 1919, August 30, 1999 1:33 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My hair all flicks up
Like Thundercat Wileykit;
defies gravity.
Haiku # 1918, August 30, 1999 1:26 pm ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Lying at the end
Of this thing we call a world
Is a big knocker
Haiku # 1917, August 30, 1999 1:16 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The shiniest teeth
That ever shone in this world
Belong to my dog
Haiku # 1916, August 30, 1999 1:12 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
No-one wears slippers
Any more in our culture
Which explains a lot
Haiku # 1915, August 30, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s little in life
That cannot be improved by
A shiny new pen
Haiku # 1914, August 30, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My owl vents hot gas
Whenever it sees "The Bill"
ITV shall pay
Haiku # 1913, August 30, 1999 1:03 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I didn''t like ice cream
So much, I''d smear some on you
With a warm finger
Haiku # 1912, August 30, 1999 1:02 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh Jean Luc Picard
Are you lost deep in sub-space?
Or just chilling out?
Haiku # 1911, August 30, 1999 1:01 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A dog and water
Is a bad combination
If you don`t like smells
Haiku # 1910, August 30, 1999 10:33 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Champagne Wispa Bar?
Perverse or just misguided?
Flaming pessary!
Haiku # 1909, August 30, 1999 9:25 am ET
by Salamander Pastiche of Mmmm..., Euclidian!
When I was but five
I encountered flatulence
close to my head.
Haiku # 1908, August 30, 1999 9:14 am ET
by They call me Scrunty of Hmm?
I have six bright balls
Which I attempt to juggle
I can manage three
Haiku # 1907, August 30, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My luminous tape
Sits beside me, all sticky
Like old underpants
Haiku # 1906, August 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I found a feather
Embedded in my T-shirt
Is it an omen?
Haiku # 1905, August 30, 1999 3:18 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do not microwave
From frozen, the packet says
It doesn''t say why
Haiku # 1904, August 30, 1999 3:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I feel like I felt
That time when I felt funny
Only funnier
Haiku # 1903, August 30, 1999 3:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Stupid stupid bird
Cat why don''t you go eat itIf you don''t, I will!!
Haiku # 1902, August 29, 1999 2:20 pm ET
by Ivona Humpalot of Ivonahumpalotcity, Mongolia
bob was a small boy
with a very small penis
his parents were dead
Haiku # 1901, August 29, 1999 2:19 pm ET
by bob mcneil of shitville, pns country
If I had some cheese
I would eat it for my lunch
As it is yummy
Haiku # 1900, August 29, 1999 2:18 pm ET
by Cheesy Man of Cheese, Cheez
Microsoft is dumb
It stuffs up my computer
I hate Microsoft
Haiku # 1899, August 29, 1999 2:16 pm ET
by Pooman of Pooville, Pooland
Haiku # 1898, August 29, 1999 2:14 pm ET
by Pooman
Dog Breath is fun, yum!
I eat cheese every day
Run Spot Run, KABOOM!
Haiku # 1897, August 29, 1999 2:13 pm ET
by Chingtingalingtingching of Umm? I forgot, Cheese
I am a big dog
I have a big small tail
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof
Haiku # 1896, August 29, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by Sam Smith of Auckland, New Zealand
Bad Mashed Potato
It tastes horribly pooey
Yummy yummy yum
Haiku # 1895, August 29, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am Mynci Mark
I`ve got my hind in your hood
we are all so doomed.
Haiku # 1894, August 29, 1999 11:54 am ET
by The Brothers Fudge of Mandible West, Outer Bazonga
Mark is a mynci
he makes mynci sounds like a
big metamynciman
Haiku # 1893, August 29, 1999 11:49 am ET
by Ancillary 'Scrunty' Spatula of Boutroland, Kenya?
I am called Kenneht
I come from the Middle East
Hence the odd spelling
Haiku # 1892, August 28, 1999 10:53 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Now I wake at four
In the morning, not pm
God, it''s tedious
Haiku # 1891, August 28, 1999 10:52 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Men came in the night
To take my big red machine
Alack, they were foiled
Haiku # 1890, August 28, 1999 10:49 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
Two new batteries
In my electric stapler
Make it go "kapwingg!"
Haiku # 1889, August 28, 1999 10:48 am ET
by Kenneht Extension of Yuggoth
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