Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool
Haiku # 1983, September 8, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Like Herod
A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)
Haiku # 1982, September 8, 1999 8:20 am ET
by Like Herod
I have a problem
Can''t remember what it''s called
Um... amnesia?
Haiku # 1981, September 8, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Like Herod
***what a mighty cock!
exclaimed the princess of slop
slipping and slapping***
Haiku # 1980, September 7, 1999 3:52 pm ET
by Aunt
Hello, FBI?
I''d like to see my file, please.
What? You don''t have one?
Haiku # 1979, September 7, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Like Herod
Okay, just one more
Then go do something useful
Ready? Here we go
Haiku # 1978, September 7, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Like Herod
Wasting all my time
Trying hard to be clever
When nobody cares
Haiku # 1977, September 7, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Like Herod
Ricky Martin''s dead
I shot him thirty-two times
Justified, I''d say
Haiku # 1976, September 7, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
This must be a first -
An ode to the enema:
"Lots of frothy fun"
Haiku # 1975, September 7, 1999 8:40 am ET
by Like Herod
This is the first line
It was five syllables long
And hardly inspired
Haiku # 1974, September 7, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Like Herod
Sometimes I wonder:
The ''Man from DelMont
Haiku # 1973, September 7, 1999 7:41 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
When I am mayor
Men with high-powered stun guns
Will shock litter bugs
Haiku # 1972, September 7, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, man with a sign
Where do you think it''s pointing?
To the tattoo place?
Haiku # 1971, September 7, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Aerosol hair mousse
Is strangely similar to
Aerosol whipped cream
Haiku # 1970, September 7, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh, I never knew
My back could ripple and flow.
Shiatsu massage.
Haiku # 1969, September 7, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My wee dog nibbled
On a harmless toadstool.
Will she shrink or grow?
Haiku # 1968, September 7, 1999 4:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Beauty products
Sometimes smell like Dream Topping
But taste of plastic
Haiku # 1967, September 7, 1999 4:00 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
On long summer days
Men remove their shirts and walk
Topless on the streets
Haiku # 1966, September 6, 1999 5:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I lifted the veil
That masks the subconscious mind
And kissed its full lips
Haiku # 1965, September 6, 1999 5:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The sun shines, tar melts
With lolly sticks, we create
Our names on the wall
Haiku # 1964, September 6, 1999 5:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hail the size of Mars
Pounds the surface of the Earth
Ming is merciless
Haiku # 1963, September 6, 1999 5:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
someone once told me
"I am a superhero"
I promptly killed them :)
Haiku # 1962, September 5, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by Infinity
Raisin Head Prophet
Predicting Armageddon,
Get you A Snickers?
Haiku # 1961, September 4, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Dead eyes fill my heart
Til it weighs me like potatoes
On my burdened couch
Haiku # 1960, September 4, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Being remembered
Does not make you a legend
It makes you un-you.
Haiku # 1959, September 4, 1999 9:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Metal Faced Woman
Being So Brave and Unique
Makes You More Alone
Haiku # 1958, September 4, 1999 9:45 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
That Gwyneth Paltrow
She`s really kinda scrawny
Fake English chicken
Haiku # 1957, September 4, 1999 4:34 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
the left one is blue
for my balls doth ache from lunch, fucking dog shit stew
Haiku # 1956, September 2, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by wilbydunn
My appologies
To those that are offended
Poor formatting sucks.
Haiku # 1955, September 2, 1999 7:32 pm ET
by Janis
Small names make for more Enjoyable, easier
To read haiku, Yes?
Haiku # 1954, September 2, 1999 7:30 pm ET
by Janis
I think that it''s fixed
But I''m testing it again
Just to be certain
Haiku # 1953, September 2, 1999 7:28 pm ET
by Janis
I''m very confused
With the formatting issues
I''ll fix it all soon
Haiku # 1952, September 2, 1999 7:27 pm ET
by Janis
Haiku in Yiddish
Means Lift Your Skirt In Public
Catch on America
Haiku # 1951, September 2, 1999 3:42 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Idle Time Hero
My Creative Energy
Just Jizzed the Fishtank
Haiku # 1950, September 2, 1999 3:37 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Stapled Left Thumbnai
Fountains of Plasmic Beauty
DeNiroing Home
Haiku # 1949, September 2, 1999 2:49 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Stapled Left Thumbnail
Haiku # 1948, September 2, 1999 2:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
What vile micturate
Drips down that grimy surface
Could it be BoyZone?
Haiku # 1947, September 2, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few musicians
Are spawned in bubbling vats
Or so they tell us
Haiku # 1946, September 2, 1999 12:32 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I can''t bend the moon
But I''d like to ask for the
Iron Catalogue please.
Haiku # 1945, September 2, 1999 8:11 am ET
by Ed of London, UK
down in the backyard
a rabbit-shit factory
processes pellets
Haiku # 1944, September 2, 1999 5:45 am ET
by ash
splashing in the tank
transmorphic amphibian
not quite a frog
Haiku # 1943, September 2, 1999 5:41 am ET
by ash
stove clock malfunctions
unexpected beeping sounds
fifty-four o''clock
Haiku # 1942, September 2, 1999 5:37 am ET
by ash
Less and less items
Are made triangularly
And soon there''ll be none
Haiku # 1941, September 2, 1999 5:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A minor seventh
Sends me spiralling downwards
Like a falling leaf
Haiku # 1940, September 2, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Radio aerial
Inside my head lies broken
Reception is poor
Haiku # 1939, September 2, 1999 5:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
An inflatable
Vagina lurks by the steps
Who could have left it?
Haiku # 1938, September 2, 1999 5:12 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Are your cameras
Always pointing at the sky
Photographing stars?
Haiku # 1937, September 2, 1999 5:10 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were wealthy
I''d style my hair like that girl
From the Cardigans
Haiku # 1936, September 2, 1999 5:08 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I were a font
I''d have a little x-height
and true descenders
Haiku # 1935, September 2, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Do those frail creatures
Constructed from papi
Haiku # 1934, September 2, 1999 5:05 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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