Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 115 Days and 78099 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 115 Days and 78099 Haiku later...
My father has died.
So...what happened to his soul?
Has he been judged yet?
So...what happened to his soul?
Has he been judged yet?
by of Judgement
Saharan dust lines
my skies today. I don't mind
the brown light at night.
my skies today. I don't mind
the brown light at night.
by of foggy street lanterns
it's a long journey
requiescat in pace
until the next time
requiescat in pace
until the next time
by of haiku re-birth
it's a long journey
requiescat in pace
until next time
requiescat in pace
until next time
by of samsara
Hey everybody:
My father is dying now.
Please pray for his soul.
My father is dying now.
Please pray for his soul.
by of Hebrews 9:27
water into gold
precious bodily fluids
and common urine
precious bodily fluids
and common urine
by of alchemist's pads
I prayed for you Ash,
Even though you don't believe.
You could be me (sigh)
Even though you don't believe.
You could be me (sigh)
by of Bad Haiku
my catheter bag
strapped like i'm a gunslinger
hey, pisstolero !
strapped like i'm a gunslinger
hey, pisstolero !
by of in the bag
Eloquent spokes-mouths:
Orators gonna orate,
Liars gonna lie.
Orators gonna orate,
Liars gonna lie.
by of Spoken
goodbye my prostate
you made some fine productions
cancer wasn't one
you made some fine productions
cancer wasn't one
by of da vinci theatre
First-wave Ska was great.
Second-wave Ska was better...
But third-wave Ska sucked.
Second-wave Ska was better...
But third-wave Ska sucked.
by of One Drop Riddim
call me KSI
cause I'm in the thick of it
everybody knows.
cause I'm in the thick of it
everybody knows.
by of thick of it
I are NOT stupid.
I is much smarter than U
Don't even TRY me
I is much smarter than U
Don't even TRY me
by of Haikoo
Andrew Johnson? Wait--
Our seventeenth prezident?
I voted for him!
Our seventeenth prezident?
I voted for him!
by of All Nationz that Exists Espeshally Austrailia
Andrew Paul Johnson
Pam Bondi's favorite dude
Get what you vote for
Pam Bondi's favorite dude
Get what you vote for
by
who is serena?
why do you hate her so much?
she must be awful.
why do you hate her so much?
she must be awful.
by
Serena? That girl
Deserves all the hate she gets.
She a hate-magnet.
Deserves all the hate she gets.
She a hate-magnet.
by of NYC
The worse for her, yeah
Serena makes sad me
The End yeah yeah yeah
Serena makes sad me
The End yeah yeah yeah
by of nyc
tested negative
for HIV, are you proud?
My friend Yaz got it
for HIV, are you proud?
My friend Yaz got it
by
serena sucks, yeah.
she makes me very upset.
serena sucks, yeah
she makes me very upset.
serena sucks, yeah
by of nyc
Positivity,
Toxic positivity,
Will find no home here.
Toxic positivity,
Will find no home here.
by of Positive Thinking
Hey -- don't forget, folks:
"Super-bowl" will happen soon.
Bunny sings "salsa".
"Super-bowl" will happen soon.
Bunny sings "salsa".
by of 102nd-yard Line
Rolled with a fork, but:
weird for such stringy pasta
to hold sauce at all
weird for such stringy pasta
to hold sauce at all
by of sauce dynamics
Hey haiku sports fans:
Don't forget today's big game,
World Series (of golf)!
Don't forget today's big game,
World Series (of golf)!
by of Stanley Cup
To roll like a sponge?
I thought you just use a spoon
In tandem with fork (?)
I thought you just use a spoon
In tandem with fork (?)
by of Pasta
this site might be home,
an outlet for my sorrow,
i love bad haiku.
an outlet for my sorrow,
i love bad haiku.
by
i'm an angsty teen,
of course i write bad haikus
when i get upset.
of course i write bad haikus
when i get upset.
by
earbuds in, parent's
fight fades to white noise as
mr. brightside blares.
fight fades to white noise as
mr. brightside blares.
by
I recently learned
that spaghetti holds sauce best
when rolled, like a sponge.
that spaghetti holds sauce best
when rolled, like a sponge.
by of al dente
not to be sniffed at
my scent is ambivalent
but my aura glows
my scent is ambivalent
but my aura glows
by
This website: more clicks
Than g00gle, "X", and YouTube.
Data does not lie.
Than g00gle, "X", and YouTube.
Data does not lie.
by of The Great Upload
Ontologies shift.
Life transcends itself through art.
Nihilism brings hope.
Life transcends itself through art.
Nihilism brings hope.
by of All Values
I love Bad Haiku,
and Bad Haiku loves me, too.
We love each other.
and Bad Haiku loves me, too.
We love each other.
by
Baseball as hockey...
Soccer opposed to football.
Golf loves basketball.
Soccer opposed to football.
Golf loves basketball.
by of Sportsball
you can never tell
give me ambiguity
and i might take it
give me ambiguity
and i might take it
by
Hockey is baseball.
Football is also "soccer".
Basketball is golf.
Football is also "soccer".
Basketball is golf.
by of Sportsball
Steer that train well, bro.
Keep your hand on the throttle,
watch the track ahead.
Keep your hand on the throttle,
watch the track ahead.
by of Caboose
Tomorrow at last:
becoming an engineer.
Wish me luck guys! Cheers.
becoming an engineer.
Wish me luck guys! Cheers.
by of academics
We fight for Janis.
She commands our submission.
It's Haiku--or death.
She commands our submission.
It's Haiku--or death.
by of Haiku Mercenary Assault Force
They shall all submit;
Submission to Bad Haiku
By choice or by force.
Submission to Bad Haiku
By choice or by force.
by of Conquest
As time flies past us
Submission rate trends downward
Good for survival
Submission rate trends downward
Good for survival
by of Toronto
i HATE making crêpes.
flour goop, i cannot flip.
this is so awful.
flour goop, i cannot flip.
this is so awful.
by
Hot flashes are HOT!
Tired dry membranes are tops.
Old women: SEXY.
Tired dry membranes are tops.
Old women: SEXY.
by of Geriatric Hotties
unfortunately
post menopausal women
are not hot items
post menopausal women
are not hot items
by of home alone
Wisdom in the alps;
Mob boss ideals versus
one with much to lose
Mob boss ideals versus
one with much to lose
by of Toronto
Surprise! It's sunny!
After eight weeks of cold fog,
I'll have a nice stroll.
After eight weeks of cold fog,
I'll have a nice stroll.
by of the swampy flatlands
creativity
fire creates its own thermals
you can rise or burn
fire creates its own thermals
you can rise or burn
by of spent residue
Jaguar: creeping.
I envy her deep sleeping.
Poise, crouch, then leaping
I envy her deep sleeping.
Poise, crouch, then leaping
by of Because SUPPOSEDLY "jaguar" consists of 3 Syllables (but Dipthongs Are Debatable)
Poise, crouch, then leaping.
I envy her deep sleeping.
A jaguar: creeping.
I envy her deep sleeping.
A jaguar: creeping.
by of Meow
Militant protests
animate the other side
And they are well-armed
animate the other side
And they are well-armed
by of Chanting Things Does Not Work