Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 327 Days and 78454 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 327 Days and 78454 Haiku later...
Ontologies shift.
Life transcends itself through art.
Nihilism brings hope.
Life transcends itself through art.
Nihilism brings hope.
by of All Values
I love Bad Haiku,
and Bad Haiku loves me, too.
We love each other.
and Bad Haiku loves me, too.
We love each other.
by
Baseball as hockey...
Soccer opposed to football.
Golf loves basketball.
Soccer opposed to football.
Golf loves basketball.
by of Sportsball
you can never tell
give me ambiguity
and i might take it
give me ambiguity
and i might take it
by
Hockey is baseball.
Football is also "soccer".
Basketball is golf.
Football is also "soccer".
Basketball is golf.
by of Sportsball
Steer that train well, bro.
Keep your hand on the throttle,
watch the track ahead.
Keep your hand on the throttle,
watch the track ahead.
by of Caboose
Tomorrow at last:
becoming an engineer.
Wish me luck guys! Cheers.
becoming an engineer.
Wish me luck guys! Cheers.
by of academics
We fight for Janis.
She commands our submission.
It's Haiku--or death.
She commands our submission.
It's Haiku--or death.
by of Haiku Mercenary Assault Force
They shall all submit;
Submission to Bad Haiku
By choice or by force.
Submission to Bad Haiku
By choice or by force.
by of Conquest
As time flies past us
Submission rate trends downward
Good for survival
Submission rate trends downward
Good for survival
by of Toronto
i HATE making crêpes.
flour goop, i cannot flip.
this is so awful.
flour goop, i cannot flip.
this is so awful.
by
Hot flashes are HOT!
Tired dry membranes are tops.
Old women: SEXY.
Tired dry membranes are tops.
Old women: SEXY.
by of Geriatric Hotties
unfortunately
post menopausal women
are not hot items
post menopausal women
are not hot items
by of home alone
Wisdom in the alps;
Mob boss ideals versus
one with much to lose
Mob boss ideals versus
one with much to lose
by of Toronto
Surprise! It's sunny!
After eight weeks of cold fog,
I'll have a nice stroll.
After eight weeks of cold fog,
I'll have a nice stroll.
by of the swampy flatlands
creativity
fire creates its own thermals
you can rise or burn
fire creates its own thermals
you can rise or burn
by of spent residue
Jaguar: creeping.
I envy her deep sleeping.
Poise, crouch, then leaping
I envy her deep sleeping.
Poise, crouch, then leaping
by of Because SUPPOSEDLY "jaguar" consists of 3 Syllables (but Dipthongs Are Debatable)
Poise, crouch, then leaping.
I envy her deep sleeping.
A jaguar: creeping.
I envy her deep sleeping.
A jaguar: creeping.
by of Meow
Militant protests
animate the other side
And they are well-armed
animate the other side
And they are well-armed
by of Chanting Things Does Not Work
biting winter air,
teeth as sharp as a chainsaw.
ICE in city streets.
teeth as sharp as a chainsaw.
ICE in city streets.
by
How now, brown haiku?
Haiku jumped over the moon:
Slay sacred haiku
Haiku jumped over the moon:
Slay sacred haiku
by of Mumu-land
terra nullius
celebrate the invasion
of a not yet state
celebrate the invasion
of a not yet state
by of sloppy seconds
Alex Honnold. Cheers!
Climbed Taipei tower freehand...
Haiku is harder.
Climbed Taipei tower freehand...
Haiku is harder.
by of Bad Haiku
things are heating up
winter in america
brings way too much ice
winter in america
brings way too much ice
by of what the fuck?
I scream, you scream. We
All scream for deportation...
Except those who don't.
All scream for deportation...
Except those who don't.
by of the Worst Order
Maybe they DID go
To the moon and back... and yet --
It did not help much.
To the moon and back... and yet --
It did not help much.
by of 5-4-3-2-1, Ignition, Lift-off
Unfortunately
Nobody has to scream it
It's quite obvious
Nobody has to scream it
It's quite obvious
by
Sabbath: first album.
(I do not have to say "black")
Lest they scream "RACIST!"
(I do not have to say "black")
Lest they scream "RACIST!"
by of Bill Ward, 1970 A.D.
Old man so funny!
He say different thing now.
He have great wisdom.
He say different thing now.
He have great wisdom.
by of Funny Square Hat
scalloped base submit
incredibly un-shellfish
for a gift that gives
incredibly un-shellfish
for a gift that gives
by of sumbits ever change
Missing one again
Hard to count to seven with
six fingers per hand
Hard to count to seven with
six fingers per hand
by of innumeracy
Diaper man made king
The Joke still makes me laugh
The world, not so much
The Joke still makes me laugh
The world, not so much
by of all the people it could be
if we're talking shit
who's eating his latest pile ?
repeats of taco
who's eating his latest pile ?
repeats of taco
by of greenland cold cuts
Your haiku smells bad,
And missing a syllable.
(It must have got smeared).
And missing a syllable.
(It must have got smeared).
by of Darth
Instructions unclear:
phone screen smeared with feces.
Have good gut health though
phone screen smeared with feces.
Have good gut health though
by of the bowl
Your toilet haiku:
Did you download the hot new
Scatology app?
Did you download the hot new
Scatology app?
by of Lavatory Jazz
When kings sit on throne
Poop, then look back and see stains
Why not use the brush?
Poop, then look back and see stains
Why not use the brush?
by of not so public toilet
tasteless gilded twat
clad in your fascist statements
fifth avenue reich
clad in your fascist statements
fifth avenue reich
by of wintour of discontent
Let us all recall
The Marxist agitator
with righteous quaver.
The Marxist agitator
with righteous quaver.
by of Audubon Ballroom
when your inner voice
is some external stranger
it's prime, no factors
is some external stranger
it's prime, no factors
by of calculating the numb in numbers
What are the factors
That cause schizophrenia?
(Answer in haiku.)
That cause schizophrenia?
(Answer in haiku.)
by of Mental Illness by T. Szasz
I pity kids here.
They want them medicated...
Dumbed-down. Compliant.
They want them medicated...
Dumbed-down. Compliant.
by of the Psych Ward
Monosyllabic:
The word "prism" and the word "schism".
(Just thought I'd tell you)
The word "prism" and the word "schism".
(Just thought I'd tell you)
by of Haiku Einsatzgruppen
through my prism
fashionable fascism
cultivates schism
fashionable fascism
cultivates schism
by of reap what you... so what?
Those water bottles.
Those silly water bottles.
Everyone has them...
Those silly water bottles.
Everyone has them...
by of Hydration
unlimited reign.
i thought we were free, but they
will take that away.
i thought we were free, but they
will take that away.
by of haiku
Fascist boots stomp hearts
"That is not how friends behave",
said Toad. Frog stood close.
"That is not how friends behave",
said Toad. Frog stood close.
by of T.
“Power without care,
This is wrong,” said Frog softly.
“We guard our neighbors.”
This is wrong,” said Frog softly.
“We guard our neighbors.”
by of Toronto with solidarity
It's death from above:
Extra syllables destroyed.
(Armed haiku drone strike.)
Extra syllables destroyed.
(Armed haiku drone strike.)
by of Haiku
We will run haiku,
Expand haiku industry
For our benefit.
Expand haiku industry
For our benefit.
by of Haiku