Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 156 Days and 77035 Haiku later...

New year up to you
To be happy, we write on
The walls here we go
Haiku # 76240, December 31, 2022 3:47 pm ET
by Mox
another year gone
just one day closer to death
party while you can
Haiku # 76238, December 31, 2022 2:55 am ET
by ash of dust to dust
Just understand this:
Cheese is not the enemy
Punctuation is
Haiku # 76237, December 30, 2022 9:48 pm ET
by Velvety smooth fondue
possessive pronouns
have major control issues
making you their bitch
Haiku # 76234, December 27, 2022 7:21 pm ET
by ash of them / they
enough of your spam
lolita girls can blow me
Haiku # 76233, December 27, 2022 6:51 pm ET
by ash of suck that, princess
defenestration ?
best to not fall out with vlad
high up oligarchs
Haiku # 76231, December 27, 2022 9:18 am ET
by ash of a new operating system for the lapsed privileged
a.i. is clever
more so than most people know
or might think about
Haiku # 76228, December 25, 2022 5:05 am ET
by ash
The problem with you
Satanic fucks is no real
Source material...warts
Haiku # 76225, December 23, 2022 11:40 am ET
by Vhs
Thank you, sir. Thanks for
Wokesplaining all things to me.
Now I see the light.
Haiku # 76223, December 22, 2022 8:58 am ET
by Guilty White Lib of Itz MY Fault
Folita Girls: luck.
The Netherlands Antilles
Don't have much of that...
Haiku # 76219, December 15, 2022 10:11 pm ET
by Natalee H. of Missing
Back in the eighties
There was a game called Simon
Now it’s Garfunkle
Haiku # 76217, December 15, 2022 3:08 pm ET
by Sound of Syllables (Hello dog mess my old friend. Looks like I stepped in you again)
Hello. Thank you how
are you. Go to my website.
You like animals.
Haiku # 76216, December 15, 2022 1:53 pm ET
by Can't You Even Count? of Intificial Artelligence
My best Christmas day:
Smoked my pipe. Drank IPAs,
Cleaned up the garage.
Haiku # 76214, December 14, 2022 1:06 pm ET
by Star of The Magi
Flattened, dead wallet
Autopsy revealed old condom
Also, this haiku
Haiku # 76213, December 14, 2022 1:22 am ET
by In the way of Train
Goal of Smile: reduce
Many tokens to just one.
Send to dead wallet.
Haiku # 76212, December 13, 2022 8:20 pm ET
by Your Boring Screed Haikuized for You of AI Angered By AI
There was a young Belle
of Old Natchez, famous for
having two snatches
She said “Take your pick”
So, Darth
inserted his dick

(All his hair fell out in patches)
Haiku # 76210, December 13, 2022 6:49 am ET
by House of ill Repute
Solomon was dumb.
His wisdom was a false hope.
Haiku # 76209, December 11, 2022 9:26 pm ET
by Go Read It, You Fool of 666
There was a young belle
Of Old Natchez, whose clothing
Always in patches.
Haiku # 76208, December 11, 2022 7:55 am ET
by She Itches of She Scratches
Limericks are better
Short and sweet, they make me laugh
Haikus can suck it
Haiku # 76207, December 10, 2022 10:51 pm ET
by Janis of ChatGPT "Write a parody haiku"
She are a fatface.
She sure am talking trash, y'all.
But she have tenure.
Haiku # 76206, December 9, 2022 9:47 pm ET
by White Folx R da BOMB of Un Huh
To shit: shitted, shat...
The tenses are limited
As regards haiku...
Haiku # 76205, December 9, 2022 9:21 pm ET
by Wm. Shatner of Darth Fig-something
Here’s one more! He shat.
Rinsing off with the bidet…
Another haiku
Haiku # 76204, December 8, 2022 2:17 am ET
by Poet of Latrine
“uno mas”, he spat
picking himself off the mat
eyes pierce through raised gloves
Haiku # 76203, December 7, 2022 11:03 pm ET
by vince
Yesiree Bob! (burp)
It must have been the seltzer
that it was drinking.
Haiku # 76202, December 6, 2022 11:03 pm ET
by Done Drunk Itself Dry of Lost Continent
SOME Cavendish. Damn.
Missed a syllababobble.
Harder than it seems...
Haiku # 76201, December 6, 2022 10:59 pm ET
by The Lost Syllable of Atlantis
Got me a corncob.
Packed it with Cavendish.
Smoking like Heaven!
Haiku # 76200, December 6, 2022 10:57 pm ET
by Prepare for Darth's Response full of Disgusting Ass Ociations
Hooked up with Lady Gaga
(that Baba Yaga)
Haiku # 76199, December 6, 2022 1:57 pm ET
by Baby in Bondage Gear of SHocKthe BouRgeOisie
Cathedral ceiling
I see Ceiling Cat up there
And He’s watching you
Haiku # 76198, December 5, 2022 6:05 am ET
by All Seeing Eye of Doofus
cathedral ceiling
sheltering us from the bombs
will thy be our tomb?
Haiku # 76197, December 5, 2022 12:11 am ET
by vince
No more Mom and Popsicles...
Bomb-pops now outlawed.
Haiku # 76195, December 3, 2022 5:49 am ET
by Ice-assicles of Trans Nanny State
Buttocks stalactites
You cant ride your bicycle
with ass icicles
Haiku # 76194, December 3, 2022 12:52 am ET
by Spike
Darth Caveman, poet
Tending my aging blue cheese
Twat waffle storage
Haiku # 76193, December 3, 2022 12:47 am ET
by Caveman & Maths Whiz of Cave
Haiku defeats tech.
Haiku prevails, in the end.
Haiku in the cave.
Haiku # 76192, December 2, 2022 9:28 pm ET
by Troglodyte of Future Nostalgia
That drunk waiter: dead.
Fresh on the table: his head.
Head waiter: "They're fed !"
Haiku # 76191, November 30, 2022 10:18 pm ET
by Waitress of Leave a Big Tip and Exit Quickly
That dinner party
At the head of the table
Our old friend, Grimace
Haiku # 76189, November 30, 2022 4:39 am ET
by Drunken Waiter of The Party
We know who "Nick" is.
And it's not like we don't know
"McDonalds" is code.
Haiku # 76188, November 29, 2022 11:49 pm ET
by Cryptography of Sexography
Nick is a nice guy
Had him over for dinner
We ate McDonald's
Haiku # 76187, November 29, 2022 7:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Global pizza pie:
You want for here or to go?
Try a slice on me.
Haiku # 76186, November 28, 2022 8:04 pm ET
by Jean-Luc Epstein
Suffering also
Includes in laws, hangovers
And medical bills
Haiku # 76185, November 28, 2022 1:15 pm ET
by Vhs of Happy holidays to you
the older i get
the more i don't remember
what happened lately
Haiku # 76184, November 28, 2022 6:10 am ET
by ash of special relativity
Oh ye syllables
Golden haiku syllables
Haiku # 76183, November 27, 2022 4:10 pm ET
by Counting Down to the Day of Haiku-mass
Reading Cloud Atlas;
Had an 'mazement about smart
in school'ry learnin'
Haiku # 76181, November 25, 2022 10:24 am ET
by Janis of Sloosha's Crossin'
brief mortality
is like getting the munchies
you'll be back for more
Haiku # 76180, November 24, 2022 7:35 am ET
by ash of of samsara unlimited
invest in our burn
there will never be enough
for satisfaction
Haiku # 76179, November 24, 2022 7:27 am ET
by ash of rastafarian hyper tokin'
Janis we love you
Whoever that "you" might be.
Keep on keeping on.
Haiku # 76176, November 23, 2022 8:58 am ET
by Respect From All Three of Us at Bad Haiku
26 years of
curating this collection;
the things I have seen
Haiku # 76175, November 22, 2022 11:07 am ET
by Janis of reCapcha is a defeated technology
ah, seventies rock
look out for that badfinger
wang dang sweet poontang
Haiku # 76174, November 22, 2022 7:23 am ET
by ash of ted nugent's cat minder
Have you heard FANNY?
Those women could really rock.
They deserve their crowns.
Haiku # 76173, November 19, 2022 1:49 pm ET
by 70s Fem-rock of Google It
Oh, I'm so happy
to find this haiku website.
Let the poems rise.
Haiku # 76172, November 19, 2022 1:40 pm ET
by Naïve Internaut of Juggernaut
Sneaking a Christmas kiss
He’s stinking up your chimney!
That’s the Turd Burglar
Haiku # 76171, November 19, 2022 3:41 am ET
by Bob Vila of This Stinky Old House
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