Bad Haiku goes deep,
Down to the lowest level.
Figpucker digs it.

shine on, bad haiku !
quarter of a century
and never better

relic of the net
james interwebb telescope
to our distant past

go supernova
look deep into our black holes
see the stars twinkle

Adam sees Eve's dink.
They argue over pronouns . . .
Updated version

Fig leaf of Adam
falls gently and gracefully
Eve sees Adam’s dink

First leaf of autumn
Falls gently and gracefully:
Last days of July.

Is he a cyclops?
The eye of Tom Bosley’s cock
No! Just an old dick.

pudgy, pale soft boys
effeminate freaks, green hair
there's a lot these days

Wham bam thank u spam
Can't even syllabify
U dumb algorithm

New England matrons
Think they are such firebrands
But they're just old frumps.

Ezra got Pounded
By his own bad poetry
And Chineseries.

Ah, what a welcome.
I married a screech-machine.
And she turns me ON.

A sewage puddle
Surrounded by underwear.
Darth’s style….ITS STINKY!!

You actually
Cannot write haiku at all
You dull bot, you.

A sewage puddle
surrounded by tin-roof shacks.
Third-world. It's . . . VIBRANT.

Things are not so bad
Unless you live in Haiti
Forgot about that

I ask: “Who’s on first?”
Almost got to first base once.
(with Darth Figpucker)

Elvis is the king.
Velvet voice of Rock'nRoll:
Declan McManus

Jerry Lee Lewis...
His cousin Jimmy Swaggart.
So- what does this mean?

Overthinking it:
Mention old boomer movies...
Identify self.

Hiker in distress
“Coyote tried to blow me”
“Ran off with my dick!”

Henry Fonda’s corpse
lifts from the murky bottom
of this Golden Pond

Tickling the ivories
Tickling cousin clitoris
Jerry Lee Lewis

a piano falls into the old pond --
F-sharp Major

end of spring --
the moonlight dries my hair

Dead husband money
Some slip on banana peels
Some will fall of cliffs

Fuck that should have been
Man BOOBS, autocorrect sucks ass
Five more syllables

What about man books?
Sometimes unavoidable
Too much Del Taco

We need more DADS now!
Young men need a role model.
But no dads with tits...

Well, that explains it.
He was a crummy father
and he’d screw a cat

dad says i'm a slut
technically my step dad
also a toaster

Ash!!!!! How have you been?
Look, there's no spam in these parts.
That's all that is new.

i am old and tired
but poetry makes my young
grandma has a cock

been away long time
yet haiku remains within
basho my brains out

iT'S A GAS GAS GAS.
jUMPING jACK fLUSH DON'T CHA KNOW.
(qUIT GASLIGHTING ME)

Let’s never forget the Loudest Fart in the World
Herkimer, New York

The poets on here
write interesting poetry
but don’t always flush

Have you considered
ordering Apocalypse Meals?
They come in buckets

Our days are now spent.
Climbing the haiku mountain
was only a dream.

A drowning man will clutch at a straw Link to proverb.
There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.
Ain't over till the fat lady sings - It.
Hold with the hare and run with the hounds - You can't.
Bread always falls buttered side down Link to proverb.
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
Let the dead bury the dead.

It's a good thing, no?
All poetry and not spam
A total arms race

i lose track of this
place for weeks and notice the
posts are all haiku

Big happy brown world:
Everybody gotz to TWERK
(Diversity dance.)

Georgia on my mind
Sweet peaches in summer sun...
as guidestones explode

My man Kevinniz!
What up in Nigeria?
Haiku in tha house?

Opera ain't over till the fat lady sings - The.
Marry in haste, repent at leisure Link to proverb.
Bigger, the better - The.
Make love not war.
The best things in life are free.
Every stick has two ends.
It's the empty can that makes the most noise.

You are in good hands
Figpucker’s Haiku Army
will fix all that’s wrong

Here comes World War 4.
They are mobilizing troops.
Grab your popcorn now.

Dr. Bruce Banner
Excellent bedside manner
(when penis is green)

Brian Wilson’s taint
If you hold your ear up to
You’ll hear the ocean

Toilet left un-flushed
But when you return, it’s gone…
Turd Burglar strikes again