Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 77 Days and 74670 Haiku later...

Feeling so Oriental
Can't get used to these bound feet
(picks nose with chopsticks)
Haiku # 74617, January 15, 2022 12:55 am ET
by Boba Boogers of Bubble Tea Emporium
Submissive haiku
Latex pony wearing five
Seven five outfit.
Haiku # 74616, January 14, 2022 9:31 pm ET
by Mox
Treat yourself the way
you would treat your closest friend.
Darth's my only friend.
Haiku # 74615, January 14, 2022 8:39 pm ET
by Figteenth cup of coffee
Walking through haiku
Feeling so Oriental;
your poems are BAD.
Haiku # 74614, January 14, 2022 5:53 pm ET
by Li Po, 3rd Dynasty of Stoopid
Walking through thick fog
Feeling disoriented
Your farts are toxic
Haiku # 74612, January 14, 2022 5:58 am ET
by Methane kiss of Hershey, PA
We shall prevail, friends
We shall triumph over them:
boring technocrats.
Haiku # 74610, January 13, 2022 5:57 pm ET
by Gill Bates of Windows 666
How about butt cheeks?
Someone sitting on your face
makes an impression
Haiku # 74609, January 13, 2022 8:17 am ET
by Shitface Grin of Old Willow Tattoo Parlour
Like facial tattoos?
I'm thinking of getting one.
Don't know what to get
Haiku # 74608, January 12, 2022 6:16 pm ET
by Bad decisions await
I caught the bug and
Here I am parked alive bad
Tires, no bukowski
Haiku # 74607, January 12, 2022 3:40 pm ET
by Vhs
Yah-at-eeh there, chief.
How is life out on the Rez?
Beer in your hogan?
Haiku # 74604, January 11, 2022 9:30 am ET
by Fake-ass Indian of the Internet
Thomas Pak, Zambian,
Overdosed on Paxlovid
and nobody cared.
Haiku # 74601, January 10, 2022 9:40 am ET
by Commissions Bot of Fig Bharma
Slobber on my knob
Trying to open the door
Golden retriever
Haiku # 74599, January 10, 2022 1:51 am ET
by Kid Gloves
Gourmet cheese robot
If you catch just the right wind
he smells like old feet
Haiku # 74598, January 9, 2022 10:00 pm ET
by Stankazoid of formerly the rez
Dumbass internet:
technocrats control your soul,
Your useless lost soul.
Haiku # 74596, January 9, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by Soteriology of the Intertoobs
Dumbass haiku verse,
take a long walk off short pier.
Move out of my way.
Haiku # 74595, January 9, 2022 12:07 pm ET
by The Way of Haiku
Dumbass haiku site.
Take a tip from me, Basho.
You don't move my soul.
Haiku # 74594, January 9, 2022 12:04 pm ET
by Silly Woodcuts of Japonaiseries
Dumbass Chinese bot:
Take some ESOL classes, dolt.
You don't move product...
Haiku # 74593, January 8, 2022 10:59 pm ET
by Gamerflori of Nicaragua
Bye Cirsten Weldon
Haiku # 74591, January 8, 2022 10:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Was Rip Van Winkle
Abducted by Aliens
No, no he was not
Haiku # 74589, January 7, 2022 5:01 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
Your boring spam ads
Make me want to return to
The Stone Age. Fuck off.
Haiku # 74588, January 7, 2022 4:59 pm ET
by Useless Talking To A Bot
Snow upon the peak.
Sleeping village; Fuji looms...
Time for your BOOSTER!
Haiku # 74585, January 7, 2022 2:26 am ET
by Tedros Fauci of World Haiku Organization
Prettyboy Justin:
Failed actor, northern ass-clown...
Hope God takes him out.
Haiku # 74584, January 7, 2022 1:46 am ET
by Pierre Margaret Dutreau of Vancouver, Newfoundland
Look: every six months
A newly-named variant.
Ongoing boosters!
Haiku # 74583, January 7, 2022 1:40 am ET
by Because You Have to Do What They Say of WHO is the Enemy
Curb your appetite!
All Natural Fart Candle
Burn away hunger!
Haiku # 74582, January 6, 2022 11:48 pm ET
by U. R. Stench of Stankee Candle Company
Kristin Hig, you pig...
Your foul fat ass is so big,
It puckers my fig.
Haiku # 74581, January 6, 2022 7:36 pm ET
by Haiku in the Style of Zen-master Darthu-san
I am so so scared.
I sneezed four times this morning.
I MUST get tested.
Haiku # 74579, January 6, 2022 5:51 pm ET
by No Colds or Flu Anymore of IT'S ALL COVID!
I have to mask up
In order to double-mask
So I can feel safe.
Haiku # 74578, January 6, 2022 5:24 pm ET
by Neurotic Cuck Sitting In His Car Alone of Omicropolis
Hand sanitizer
Goes into my mouth all-day
I think I will die
Haiku # 74576, January 6, 2022 2:13 pm ET
by cursedmints of dead
no matter the time
gay pirates won't hesitate
to snatch that booty
Haiku # 74575, January 6, 2022 9:56 am ET
by you know who I am of Pirates on Boats on The Ocean was never real man
The alive are dead
They sit in their pyjamas
and write poetry
Haiku # 74574, January 5, 2022 11:38 pm ET
by High Hillbilly of Holler
The dead are alive.
They wear business suits and ties.
They earn fake money!
Haiku # 74573, January 5, 2022 5:13 pm ET
by Ras Baqra Bacon Sandwich of Shitstem, Babylon
Super sensory
when you hump all of the lumps
on a wobbly camel
Haiku # 74569, January 3, 2022 11:31 pm ET
by Bo Vine of Drama Dairy
how's that coof o' yers?
hot showers 'n chicken soup.
come to the hangin'.
Haiku # 74567, January 3, 2022 2:32 pm ET
by Coof rhymes with boof! ... oof of the goof.
No ma'am those aren't warts.
They're custom made pleasure bumps.
Surgery enhanced.
Haiku # 74566, January 3, 2022 12:28 pm ET
by When's the big day? of Where's the after-party?
Horny Toad frog dink
will give you genital warts.
Don't rub it. (ribbit)
Haiku # 74565, January 3, 2022 12:21 pm ET
by Chloe A. Ka' Hole of Hawaii
Where are the protons?
Rita Marley sings again!
Cannabliss OD.
Haiku # 74564, January 3, 2022 12:19 pm ET
by OD DOA of Call the taxidermist. Not the uberdermist... although uberdermists are cheaper.
Who woulda thunk it.
Parsnippitty Parsnip Poo.
Tree frog boner songs.
Haiku # 74563, January 3, 2022 8:28 am ET
by amphibian orgies
Cheese is hard to find.
I don't mean that processed shit.
Eden/Velveeta.

Eat enough of it,
and you will live forever.
Century shelf-life.
Haiku # 74562, January 3, 2022 2:08 am ET
by Who wants to live that long?! of Even fifty sucks!
I went and bought a
rat poison enema kit.
It got me sooooo high!

Rat-free and wasted.
So what if I'm puking blood.
Rats won't take my cheese!
Haiku # 74561, January 3, 2022 2:05 am ET
by Over my dead body!... of Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, they got the cheese.
The doctor whispered
You need to lay off the cheese
Your butt attracts rats
Haiku # 74560, January 2, 2022 8:33 pm ET
by Clinic of Philippines
The best medicine
A satisfying session
riding the toilet
Haiku # 74559, January 2, 2022 5:58 pm ET
by Yanni of Acrapolis
Just think if covid
can be spliced with HIV.
Oh, China did that?
Haiku # 74558, January 2, 2022 1:22 pm ET
by Wonderful.
Doctor, I need help.
See all this bad poetry.
It came out my butt.
Haiku # 74557, January 2, 2022 12:59 pm ET
by Take these pills and don't come back.
Do you ever think
about the consequences
of your bad poems?
Haiku # 74556, January 2, 2022 12:52 pm ET
by Nobody does.
Look, there's a proton.
And over there's a neutron.
You know what that means!
Haiku # 74555, January 2, 2022 12:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Meth is good for you.
Children's breakfast cereal.
You don't need those teeth.
Haiku # 74554, January 2, 2022 11:58 am ET
by Gummy Bear Biting
No! Do not cancel!
Show up to the hanging tree.
It will be great fun.
Haiku # 74553, January 2, 2022 11:55 am ET
by Obviously!
Rita Marley says
No more neutrons or protons.
Just deal with it now.
Haiku # 74551, January 1, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by The Beauty of God's Plan
Hope it's not too bad...
Green tea and vitamin D.
Ought to help you out.
Haiku # 74550, January 1, 2022 11:06 pm ET
by God is Greater then Covid
caught the coof, not too
thrilled about it, tell me if
i need to cancel
Haiku # 74549, January 1, 2022 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
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