Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 21 Days and 76196 Haiku later...

Did you ever play
Conan the Barbarian;
chopped off your friend's head?
Haiku # 73575, November 14, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Oops! Sorry about little Caleb, Mrs. Davenport. of Sheepishly returning the machete to old Mr. Dixon's tool shed.
Not one mention of
Dr. Who and his tardis
on this whole damn site!
Haiku # 73574, November 14, 2021 10:05 am ET
by ... Just what the hell is a "police box" anyway?!
Back to the Sleestaks.
What if they owned sea monkeys!
What a team they'd make!
Haiku # 73573, November 14, 2021 10:02 am ET
by Bipedal reptiles and brine shrimp overlords! of Better leaders than current world government.
Do you think they'll eat
Thanksgiving dinner if I
put it in their tank?
Haiku # 73572, November 14, 2021 9:58 am ET
by Don't forget the potato salad! of And pumpkin pie.
Sea monkeys are whores.
Pimped out anonymously
by the Jacques Cousteau.
Haiku # 73571, November 14, 2021 9:56 am ET
by I have proof! Bank records! Cashed checks!
I've never seen a
sea monkey spank his monkey
even for money.
Haiku # 73570, November 14, 2021 8:13 am ET
by Magnifying glass obsessions. of Scientific observation, hypothesis, law, theory.
Did you ever wank
to sea monkey comic ads?
The queen's pretty hot.
Haiku # 73569, November 14, 2021 8:04 am ET
by Ain't she though! of https://www.adsoftheworld.com/media/print/the_amazing_live_seamonkeys_legs
Sleestaks are sexy.
You know you've thought about it.
Bang some reptile strange.
Haiku # 73568, November 14, 2021 7:55 am ET
by Saturday morning couch stains.
You must remember!
You are NOT a sea monkey.
You don't belong there.
Haiku # 73567, November 14, 2021 7:49 am ET
by Stay away from that shrink ray!
I've never seen a
disappointed sea monkey.
They seem so happy.
Haiku # 73566, November 14, 2021 7:47 am ET
by In their little fish bowl kingdom.
YOU'RE the dinosaur
if you watched "Land of the Lost".
Roast your own penis.
Haiku # 73565, November 14, 2021 3:13 am ET
by Chef Mao Sugiyama of Tokyo
I love that one part.
Outside in the cold distance
a wildcat did growl.
Haiku # 73564, November 14, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Two riders were approaching.
Which do you like more,
Hey Joe or The Watchtower?
I'm thinking Hey Joe.
Haiku # 73563, November 14, 2021 3:01 am ET
by Decisions
True North all depends
on where the hell your standing.
Like standing in hell.

True Worth all depends
on how much money you have.
Ask a prostitute.
Haiku # 73562, November 14, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Johnny John-John
The disappointment
of mail order hookers
is kind of like "match"

.com
Haiku # 73561, November 14, 2021 2:44 am ET
by Oh wait, it's the same!
have you ever lost
your bearings to that one who
just throws true north off?
Haiku # 73560, November 13, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by vhs
why is there always
that one asshole, troll or quirk
that hits the button?
Haiku # 73559, November 13, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by vhs
Caveman Thanksgiving
Everyone dressed up so nice
Roast dinosaur cock!
Haiku # 73558, November 13, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
Caveman Thanksgiving
Everyone dressed up so nice
Roast dinosaur cock!
Haiku # 73557, November 13, 2021 10:50 pm ET
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
The disappointment
of mail order sea monkeys
is like Bad Haiku
Haiku # 73556, November 13, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Noticer of details
The remote viewing
ended as an addiction,
seeing your true face.
Haiku # 73555, November 13, 2021 9:39 pm ET
by True face two-face of A world of whores and thieves.
Intimidation.
Suicidal maniacs.
Ill advised tactics.
Haiku # 73554, November 13, 2021 9:34 pm ET
by and large, what do you hope to accomplish? of Is it worth it?
It's rather pointless,
evil without comedy,
but that is your game.
Haiku # 73553, November 13, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by the way, I know.
Your weather update
Raindrops falling on the rez
Same thing tomorrow
Haiku # 73552, November 13, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by I. Fed the hummingbirds
How much did it cost?
Murdering your first offspring?
It brought you such joy.
Haiku # 73551, November 13, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by This is truth.
this site's fatal flaws:
spam and impersonation
and yet, we're still here
Haiku # 73550, November 13, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by scotch
Well if you must know
That was Mexican coca
Cola,real sugar
Haiku # 73548, November 13, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Dollar generalissimo!
The remote viewing
It started as a hobby
Unmentionables
Haiku # 73547, November 13, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by I. Just saw yours of really, Darth? underoos?
This site run by spooks:
Funded by the Pentagon;
C.I.A. psy-op
Haiku # 73546, November 13, 2021 2:52 pm ET
by Trillions in Budget of Unaccounted For
Signs are everywhere.
Haiku millennium's here!
Has Janis returned?
Haiku # 73545, November 13, 2021 2:46 pm ET
by Second Coming of Janis
don't haiku so loud
daddy's got a hangover
just help me clean up
Haiku # 73544, November 13, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by scotch of post-partyum
Popcorn just sounds good
Yet like m n ms after
4 bites goes blander
Haiku # 73543, November 13, 2021 12:40 pm ET
by Vhs of Be kind please rewind
Netflix and butter
Watch Last Tango in Paris
No need for popcorn
Haiku # 73542, November 13, 2021 11:27 am ET
by Starkitten of sur la table
now uh, those damn things
conspiracies, can they just
get x filed, please please
Haiku # 73541, November 13, 2021 11:02 am ET
by vhs of no more illuminati
on a roll huh they
say, you need butter or some
other condiment?
Haiku # 73540, November 13, 2021 10:59 am ET
by vhs
But in people years
Badhaiku is ninety-five.
It should wear depends.
Haiku # 73539, November 13, 2021 9:42 am ET
by I'm on a roll!
Twenty-five silver,
fifty gold, and seventy
is platinum... then...

one hundred is rust!
Haiku # 73538, November 13, 2021 9:39 am ET
by budda boom, budda bing
i guess belarus
is trying to sell boner
pills to this website?
Haiku # 73536, November 13, 2021 8:52 am ET
by vhs
haiku correction
this was misattributed
the mischief was mine:

tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73534, November 13, 2021 2:44 am ET
by by scotch, not janis
a blast from the past
what the site used to look like
still had its braces

(check the location)
Haiku # 73533, November 13, 2021 2:29 am ET
by scotch of https://webarchive.loc.gov/legacy/20011108010550/http://www.badhaiku.com/
twenty five oh what
anniversary is that?
ohh,the silver one!
Haiku # 73532, November 13, 2021 1:17 am ET
by silver vhs
the joy of posting
happy little haiku, oh
titanium white
Haiku # 73531, November 13, 2021 1:14 am ET
by vhs of bob ross and the afro
"The fridge sits empty
Because I am too lazy
To buy some groceries"

haiku number 1
the primordial poem.
your fridge still empty?
Haiku # 73530, November 12, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by scotch of long before online ordering
like an old burner:
"used to be you could shoot guns"
still, we've got free speech
Haiku # 73529, November 12, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by scotch of and no ads
tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73528, November 12, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by not-janis
much love to janis
our bad haiku overlord
for letting us spew
Haiku # 73527, November 12, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by scotch
happy twenty fifth,
you wonderful old website!
(a la george bailey)
Haiku # 73526, November 12, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by scotch
Extra syllable
but no one will notice it
they're all on haiku
Haiku # 73525, November 12, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Noticer of Swinging parties (like this one)
Thought I would slink by
and rub up against the legs
of the handsome poets
Haiku # 73524, November 12, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by starkitten of Party animal
"Nothing wrong with small."
First time a woman's said that!
In so many ways.
Haiku # 73523, November 12, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Salary, height, shoe size, house, etc., etc.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >