Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

Netflix and butter
Watch Last Tango in Paris
No need for popcorn
Haiku # 73542, November 13, 2021 11:27 am ET
by Starkitten of sur la table
now uh, those damn things
conspiracies, can they just
get x filed, please please
Haiku # 73541, November 13, 2021 11:02 am ET
by vhs of no more illuminati
on a roll huh they
say, you need butter or some
other condiment?
Haiku # 73540, November 13, 2021 10:59 am ET
by vhs
But in people years
Badhaiku is ninety-five.
It should wear depends.
Haiku # 73539, November 13, 2021 9:42 am ET
by I'm on a roll!
Twenty-five silver,
fifty gold, and seventy
is platinum... then...

one hundred is rust!
Haiku # 73538, November 13, 2021 9:39 am ET
by budda boom, budda bing
i guess belarus
is trying to sell boner
pills to this website?
Haiku # 73536, November 13, 2021 8:52 am ET
by vhs
haiku correction
this was misattributed
the mischief was mine:

tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73534, November 13, 2021 2:44 am ET
by by scotch, not janis
a blast from the past
what the site used to look like
still had its braces

(check the location)
Haiku # 73533, November 13, 2021 2:29 am ET
by scotch of
twenty five oh what
anniversary is that?
ohh,the silver one!
Haiku # 73532, November 13, 2021 1:17 am ET
by silver vhs
the joy of posting
happy little haiku, oh
titanium white
Haiku # 73531, November 13, 2021 1:14 am ET
by vhs of bob ross and the afro
"The fridge sits empty
Because I am too lazy
To buy some groceries"

haiku number 1
the primordial poem.
your fridge still empty?
Haiku # 73530, November 12, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by scotch of long before online ordering
like an old burner:
"used to be you could shoot guns"
still, we've got free speech
Haiku # 73529, November 12, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by scotch of and no ads
tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73528, November 12, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by not-janis
much love to janis
our bad haiku overlord
for letting us spew
Haiku # 73527, November 12, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by scotch
happy twenty fifth,
you wonderful old website!
(a la george bailey)
Haiku # 73526, November 12, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by scotch
Extra syllable
but no one will notice it
they're all on haiku
Haiku # 73525, November 12, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Noticer of Swinging parties (like this one)
Thought I would slink by
and rub up against the legs
of the handsome poets
Haiku # 73524, November 12, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by starkitten of Party animal
"Nothing wrong with small."
First time a woman's said that!
In so many ways.
Haiku # 73523, November 12, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Salary, height, shoe size, house, etc., etc.
How about regions?
Like where "visitors" come from.
The Crab Nebula?
Haiku # 73522, November 12, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by Still getting hits from the Philippines? of Checking if my VPN really works. ;-)
Hi everybody!
Majority are readers
Who prob'bly don't post
Haiku # 73521, November 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by Janis of hashtag haikufans
Nothing wrong with small
About 350 active
Users per day. Shhh!
Haiku # 73520, November 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Janis of shhh, we need to keep it small.
We are all here now.
That's all that really matters
in eternity.
Haiku # 73519, November 12, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Coming Down of From My Elton J High
I often wonder
how many people read this
other than, like, us.
Haiku # 73518, November 12, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Any idea Janis? You get any "visitor" data?
My poor old man brain
Just might never forgive me.
But with God is hope.
Haiku # 73517, November 12, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Regrets and Reveries of Under the Tropical Palms
Waah waah waah waah waaaaah....
Yeah, did my share of nitrous.
Just say N 2 O.

Forget the whippettes. Get one of those big tanks like at a dentist's office. You know the right ppl, it's easy to get. :-)
Haiku # 73516, November 12, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I love all of you.
All sad mad useless scribblers.
Maybe even Darth...
Haiku # 73515, November 12, 2021 7:08 pm ET
by Haiku Satori of Friday Night
The party is HERE!
The real party. In haiku.
For a select group.
Haiku # 73514, November 12, 2021 7:05 pm ET
by Not Communist Party of FREEDUMB
What? Whippersnappers?
You mean whipped cream cartridges
from my misspent youth?
Haiku # 73513, November 12, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Now Whip It of Now Whip It GOOD
Who's this Elton dude?
Opened for Iron Maiden?
My God, I was high.
Haiku # 73512, November 12, 2021 7:01 pm ET
by Run for the Hills!
We salute Janis.
Her site is the last frontier.
True open forum.
Haiku # 73511, November 12, 2021 6:59 pm ET
by 5 then 7 then 5 of Or Die
I am stuck on this.
I am stuck on this album.
Don't you understand?
Haiku # 73510, November 12, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Needle Stuck In Groove of VINYL
Remember twelve inch.
Back in the early eighties.
It keeps on shrinking.
Haiku # 73509, November 12, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by You whipper-snappers don't know the struggle! of Kilo to terra... Next is peta, you wild animals!
Adam, I hear you...
but Elton's "Love Lies Bleeding"
is such a great song.
Haiku # 73508, November 12, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by Adam of Admin (switch 2 letters)
At my advanced years
a floppy is typical.
Seldom have hard drive.

Please madam, don't byte.
Terabyte my solid state.
Enhanced by high tech.
Haiku # 73507, November 12, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Floppy diks, as they say in India. of Like Game of Thrones.
Yes, single-sided,
single-density, even.
But for the poems,

this whole site would fit
on a five and a quarter
inch floppy diskette.

Though admittedly
not quite so old to have lived
in a flaccid sleeve,

it did indeed first
travel on three and a half
inches of plastic.
Haiku # 73506, November 12, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by Adam of The Server Side
An ancient art form,
an ancient new medium.
It's relative, but

A quarter of a
century is very old
indeed for the web.

are very much in order
for this Bad Haiku.
Haiku # 73505, November 12, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by Adam of 1996
Your mama. So sweet.
She asked me to have mercy.
I baked her cookies.
Haiku # 73504, November 12, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by Misogyny is Strength of Matriarchy
Your own dear mother
thanked me when I left her bed.
She was still panting.
Haiku # 73503, November 12, 2021 5:32 pm ET
by The Dozens of Yo Mama Obama
No one will step up?
Allright. I will rule from here.
Five syllables. WON.
Haiku # 73502, November 12, 2021 5:30 pm ET
by Haiku as Fight for Dominance of Beta Males
Jamaica Jerk-off:
It's a hilarious take
on the island vibes.
Haiku # 73501, November 12, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Rock-steady of Jawbone of an Ass
The thing of it is
only one album of his
affects me this way.
Haiku # 73500, November 12, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by Yellow Brick Gold of Auric Splendors
Do you like Elton?
In retrospect, his band ROCKS.
He was really great.
Haiku # 73499, November 12, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Bernie Taupin of Lyrical Prowess
Seriously folks,
Janis ought to have a crown
for our therapy.
Haiku # 73498, November 12, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Haiku of Counseling
Oh no I screwed up.
Added extra syllable.
Lost haiku street creds.
Haiku # 73497, November 12, 2021 5:05 pm ET
by Sir Eltonon John John of Cocaine and Glasses
I'm listening to
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (album)
It really moves me.
Haiku # 73496, November 12, 2021 5:03 pm ET
by Sir Elton Was a Bit of a Martinette though of 70's Delerium
Ooh I'm really mad.
This wicked world is so bad.
Capital of Chad.
Haiku # 73495, November 12, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by N'Djamena of Well It Rhymed . . .
Solid potato salad
Google the Ross sisters, Darth
Good for what ails you
Haiku # 73494, November 12, 2021 4:32 pm ET
by sk
Bear with me, rabbit.
It's your dear fur that I need
Or else I go bare.
Haiku # 73493, November 12, 2021 4:27 pm ET
by The Deer Escaped Alive of Venison
Rabbit, dear, and bear.
Together make hearty stew.
Wear them afterwards.
Haiku # 73492, November 12, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by So you can gain their spirit powers. of Yeah.
Deer is not Kosher.
I told your priest about it.
Eat the beating heart.
Haiku # 73491, November 12, 2021 3:07 pm ET
by Sometimes we have to be animals.
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