Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 27 Days and 76204 Haiku later...

Did you ever wank
to sea monkey comic ads?
The queen's pretty hot.
Haiku # 73569, November 14, 2021 8:04 am ET
by Ain't she though! of https://www.adsoftheworld.com/media/print/the_amazing_live_seamonkeys_legs
Sleestaks are sexy.
You know you've thought about it.
Bang some reptile strange.
Haiku # 73568, November 14, 2021 7:55 am ET
by Saturday morning couch stains.
You must remember!
You are NOT a sea monkey.
You don't belong there.
Haiku # 73567, November 14, 2021 7:49 am ET
by Stay away from that shrink ray!
I've never seen a
disappointed sea monkey.
They seem so happy.
Haiku # 73566, November 14, 2021 7:47 am ET
by In their little fish bowl kingdom.
YOU'RE the dinosaur
if you watched "Land of the Lost".
Roast your own penis.
Haiku # 73565, November 14, 2021 3:13 am ET
by Chef Mao Sugiyama of Tokyo
I love that one part.
Outside in the cold distance
a wildcat did growl.
Haiku # 73564, November 14, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Two riders were approaching.
Which do you like more,
Hey Joe or The Watchtower?
I'm thinking Hey Joe.
Haiku # 73563, November 14, 2021 3:01 am ET
by Decisions
True North all depends
on where the hell your standing.
Like standing in hell.

True Worth all depends
on how much money you have.
Ask a prostitute.
Haiku # 73562, November 14, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Johnny John-John
The disappointment
of mail order hookers
is kind of like "match"

.com
Haiku # 73561, November 14, 2021 2:44 am ET
by Oh wait, it's the same!
have you ever lost
your bearings to that one who
just throws true north off?
Haiku # 73560, November 13, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by vhs
why is there always
that one asshole, troll or quirk
that hits the button?
Haiku # 73559, November 13, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by vhs
Caveman Thanksgiving
Everyone dressed up so nice
Roast dinosaur cock!
Haiku # 73558, November 13, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
Caveman Thanksgiving
Everyone dressed up so nice
Roast dinosaur cock!
Haiku # 73557, November 13, 2021 10:50 pm ET
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
The disappointment
of mail order sea monkeys
is like Bad Haiku
Haiku # 73556, November 13, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Noticer of details
The remote viewing
ended as an addiction,
seeing your true face.
Haiku # 73555, November 13, 2021 9:39 pm ET
by True face two-face of A world of whores and thieves.
Intimidation.
Suicidal maniacs.
Ill advised tactics.
Haiku # 73554, November 13, 2021 9:34 pm ET
by and large, what do you hope to accomplish? of Is it worth it?
It's rather pointless,
evil without comedy,
but that is your game.
Haiku # 73553, November 13, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by the way, I know.
Your weather update
Raindrops falling on the rez
Same thing tomorrow
Haiku # 73552, November 13, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by I. Fed the hummingbirds
How much did it cost?
Murdering your first offspring?
It brought you such joy.
Haiku # 73551, November 13, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by This is truth.
this site's fatal flaws:
spam and impersonation
and yet, we're still here
Haiku # 73550, November 13, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by scotch
Well if you must know
That was Mexican coca
Cola,real sugar
Haiku # 73548, November 13, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Dollar generalissimo!
The remote viewing
It started as a hobby
Unmentionables
Haiku # 73547, November 13, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by I. Just saw yours of really, Darth? underoos?
This site run by spooks:
Funded by the Pentagon;
C.I.A. psy-op
Haiku # 73546, November 13, 2021 2:52 pm ET
by Trillions in Budget of Unaccounted For
Signs are everywhere.
Haiku millennium's here!
Has Janis returned?
Haiku # 73545, November 13, 2021 2:46 pm ET
by Second Coming of Janis
don't haiku so loud
daddy's got a hangover
just help me clean up
Haiku # 73544, November 13, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by scotch of post-partyum
Popcorn just sounds good
Yet like m n ms after
4 bites goes blander
Haiku # 73543, November 13, 2021 12:40 pm ET
by Vhs of Be kind please rewind
Netflix and butter
Watch Last Tango in Paris
No need for popcorn
Haiku # 73542, November 13, 2021 11:27 am ET
by Starkitten of sur la table
now uh, those damn things
conspiracies, can they just
get x filed, please please
Haiku # 73541, November 13, 2021 11:02 am ET
by vhs of no more illuminati
on a roll huh they
say, you need butter or some
other condiment?
Haiku # 73540, November 13, 2021 10:59 am ET
by vhs
But in people years
Badhaiku is ninety-five.
It should wear depends.
Haiku # 73539, November 13, 2021 9:42 am ET
by I'm on a roll!
Twenty-five silver,
fifty gold, and seventy
is platinum... then...

one hundred is rust!
Haiku # 73538, November 13, 2021 9:39 am ET
by budda boom, budda bing
i guess belarus
is trying to sell boner
pills to this website?
Haiku # 73536, November 13, 2021 8:52 am ET
by vhs
haiku correction
this was misattributed
the mischief was mine:

tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73534, November 13, 2021 2:44 am ET
by by scotch, not janis
a blast from the past
what the site used to look like
still had its braces

(check the location)
Haiku # 73533, November 13, 2021 2:29 am ET
by scotch of https://webarchive.loc.gov/legacy/20011108010550/http://www.badhaiku.com/
twenty five oh what
anniversary is that?
ohh,the silver one!
Haiku # 73532, November 13, 2021 1:17 am ET
by silver vhs
the joy of posting
happy little haiku, oh
titanium white
Haiku # 73531, November 13, 2021 1:14 am ET
by vhs of bob ross and the afro
"The fridge sits empty
Because I am too lazy
To buy some groceries"

haiku number 1
the primordial poem.
your fridge still empty?
Haiku # 73530, November 12, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by scotch of long before online ordering
like an old burner:
"used to be you could shoot guns"
still, we've got free speech
Haiku # 73529, November 12, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by scotch of and no ads
tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73528, November 12, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by not-janis
much love to janis
our bad haiku overlord
for letting us spew
Haiku # 73527, November 12, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by scotch
happy twenty fifth,
you wonderful old website!
(a la george bailey)
Haiku # 73526, November 12, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by scotch
Extra syllable
but no one will notice it
they're all on haiku
Haiku # 73525, November 12, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Noticer of Swinging parties (like this one)
Thought I would slink by
and rub up against the legs
of the handsome poets
Haiku # 73524, November 12, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by starkitten of Party animal
"Nothing wrong with small."
First time a woman's said that!
In so many ways.
Haiku # 73523, November 12, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Salary, height, shoe size, house, etc., etc.
How about regions?
Like where "visitors" come from.
The Crab Nebula?
Haiku # 73522, November 12, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by Still getting hits from the Philippines? of Checking if my VPN really works. ;-)
Hi everybody!
Majority are readers
Who prob'bly don't post
Haiku # 73521, November 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by Janis of hashtag haikufans
Nothing wrong with small
About 350 active
Users per day. Shhh!
Haiku # 73520, November 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Janis of shhh, we need to keep it small.
We are all here now.
That's all that really matters
in eternity.
Haiku # 73519, November 12, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Coming Down of From My Elton J High
I often wonder
how many people read this
other than, like, us.
Haiku # 73518, November 12, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Any idea Janis? You get any "visitor" data?
My poor old man brain
Just might never forgive me.
But with God is hope.
Haiku # 73517, November 12, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Regrets and Reveries of Under the Tropical Palms
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >