Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 20 Days and 76191 Haiku later...

How much did it cost?
Murdering your first offspring?
It brought you such joy.
Haiku # 73551, November 13, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by This is truth.
this site's fatal flaws:
spam and impersonation
and yet, we're still here
Haiku # 73550, November 13, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by scotch
Well if you must know
That was Mexican coca
Cola,real sugar
Haiku # 73548, November 13, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Dollar generalissimo!
The remote viewing
It started as a hobby
Unmentionables
Haiku # 73547, November 13, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by I. Just saw yours of really, Darth? underoos?
This site run by spooks:
Funded by the Pentagon;
C.I.A. psy-op
Haiku # 73546, November 13, 2021 2:52 pm ET
by Trillions in Budget of Unaccounted For
Signs are everywhere.
Haiku millennium's here!
Has Janis returned?
Haiku # 73545, November 13, 2021 2:46 pm ET
by Second Coming of Janis
don't haiku so loud
daddy's got a hangover
just help me clean up
Haiku # 73544, November 13, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by scotch of post-partyum
Popcorn just sounds good
Yet like m n ms after
4 bites goes blander
Haiku # 73543, November 13, 2021 12:40 pm ET
by Vhs of Be kind please rewind
Netflix and butter
Watch Last Tango in Paris
No need for popcorn
Haiku # 73542, November 13, 2021 11:27 am ET
by Starkitten of sur la table
now uh, those damn things
conspiracies, can they just
get x filed, please please
Haiku # 73541, November 13, 2021 11:02 am ET
by vhs of no more illuminati
on a roll huh they
say, you need butter or some
other condiment?
Haiku # 73540, November 13, 2021 10:59 am ET
by vhs
But in people years
Badhaiku is ninety-five.
It should wear depends.
Haiku # 73539, November 13, 2021 9:42 am ET
by I'm on a roll!
Twenty-five silver,
fifty gold, and seventy
is platinum... then...

one hundred is rust!
Haiku # 73538, November 13, 2021 9:39 am ET
by budda boom, budda bing
i guess belarus
is trying to sell boner
pills to this website?
Haiku # 73536, November 13, 2021 8:52 am ET
by vhs
haiku correction
this was misattributed
the mischief was mine:

tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73534, November 13, 2021 2:44 am ET
by by scotch, not janis
a blast from the past
what the site used to look like
still had its braces

(check the location)
Haiku # 73533, November 13, 2021 2:29 am ET
by scotch of https://webarchive.loc.gov/legacy/20011108010550/http://www.badhaiku.com/
twenty five oh what
anniversary is that?
ohh,the silver one!
Haiku # 73532, November 13, 2021 1:17 am ET
by silver vhs
the joy of posting
happy little haiku, oh
titanium white
Haiku # 73531, November 13, 2021 1:14 am ET
by vhs of bob ross and the afro
"The fridge sits empty
Because I am too lazy
To buy some groceries"

haiku number 1
the primordial poem.
your fridge still empty?
Haiku # 73530, November 12, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by scotch of long before online ordering
like an old burner:
"used to be you could shoot guns"
still, we've got free speech
Haiku # 73529, November 12, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by scotch of and no ads
tags were once legal
and i brought down the site once
ah, the good old days
Haiku # 73528, November 12, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by not-janis
much love to janis
our bad haiku overlord
for letting us spew
Haiku # 73527, November 12, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by scotch
happy twenty fifth,
you wonderful old website!
(a la george bailey)
Haiku # 73526, November 12, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by scotch
Extra syllable
but no one will notice it
they're all on haiku
Haiku # 73525, November 12, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Noticer of Swinging parties (like this one)
Thought I would slink by
and rub up against the legs
of the handsome poets
Haiku # 73524, November 12, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by starkitten of Party animal
"Nothing wrong with small."
First time a woman's said that!
In so many ways.
Haiku # 73523, November 12, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Salary, height, shoe size, house, etc., etc.
How about regions?
Like where "visitors" come from.
The Crab Nebula?
Haiku # 73522, November 12, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by Still getting hits from the Philippines? of Checking if my VPN really works. ;-)
Hi everybody!
Majority are readers
Who prob'bly don't post
Haiku # 73521, November 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by Janis of hashtag haikufans
Nothing wrong with small
About 350 active
Users per day. Shhh!
Haiku # 73520, November 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Janis of shhh, we need to keep it small.
We are all here now.
That's all that really matters
in eternity.
Haiku # 73519, November 12, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Coming Down of From My Elton J High
I often wonder
how many people read this
other than, like, us.
Haiku # 73518, November 12, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Any idea Janis? You get any "visitor" data?
My poor old man brain
Just might never forgive me.
But with God is hope.
Haiku # 73517, November 12, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Regrets and Reveries of Under the Tropical Palms
Waah waah waah waah waaaaah....
Yeah, did my share of nitrous.
Just say N 2 O.

Forget the whippettes. Get one of those big tanks like at a dentist's office. You know the right ppl, it's easy to get. :-)
Haiku # 73516, November 12, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I love all of you.
All sad mad useless scribblers.
Maybe even Darth...
Haiku # 73515, November 12, 2021 7:08 pm ET
by Haiku Satori of Friday Night
The party is HERE!
The real party. In haiku.
For a select group.
Haiku # 73514, November 12, 2021 7:05 pm ET
by Not Communist Party of FREEDUMB
What? Whippersnappers?
You mean whipped cream cartridges
from my misspent youth?
Haiku # 73513, November 12, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Now Whip It of Now Whip It GOOD
Who's this Elton dude?
Opened for Iron Maiden?
My God, I was high.
Haiku # 73512, November 12, 2021 7:01 pm ET
by Run for the Hills!
We salute Janis.
Her site is the last frontier.
True open forum.
Haiku # 73511, November 12, 2021 6:59 pm ET
by 5 then 7 then 5 of Or Die
I am stuck on this.
I am stuck on this album.
Don't you understand?
Haiku # 73510, November 12, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Needle Stuck In Groove of VINYL
Remember twelve inch.
Back in the early eighties.
It keeps on shrinking.
Haiku # 73509, November 12, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by You whipper-snappers don't know the struggle! of Kilo to terra... Next is peta, you wild animals!
Adam, I hear you...
but Elton's "Love Lies Bleeding"
is such a great song.
Haiku # 73508, November 12, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by Adam of Admin (switch 2 letters)
At my advanced years
a floppy is typical.
Seldom have hard drive.

Please madam, don't byte.
Terabyte my solid state.
Enhanced by high tech.
Haiku # 73507, November 12, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Floppy diks, as they say in India. of Like Game of Thrones.
Yes, single-sided,
single-density, even.
But for the poems,

this whole site would fit
on a five and a quarter
inch floppy diskette.

Though admittedly
not quite so old to have lived
in a flaccid sleeve,

it did indeed first
travel on three and a half
inches of plastic.
Haiku # 73506, November 12, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by Adam of The Server Side
An ancient art form,
an ancient new medium.
It's relative, but

A quarter of a
century is very old
indeed for the web.

Congratulations
are very much in order
for this Bad Haiku.
Haiku # 73505, November 12, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by Adam of 1996
Your mama. So sweet.
She asked me to have mercy.
I baked her cookies.
Haiku # 73504, November 12, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by Misogyny is Strength of Matriarchy
Your own dear mother
thanked me when I left her bed.
She was still panting.
Haiku # 73503, November 12, 2021 5:32 pm ET
by The Dozens of Yo Mama Obama
No one will step up?
Allright. I will rule from here.
Five syllables. WON.
Haiku # 73502, November 12, 2021 5:30 pm ET
by Haiku as Fight for Dominance of Beta Males
Jamaica Jerk-off:
It's a hilarious take
on the island vibes.
Haiku # 73501, November 12, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Rock-steady of Jawbone of an Ass
The thing of it is
only one album of his
affects me this way.
Haiku # 73500, November 12, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by Yellow Brick Gold of Auric Splendors
Do you like Elton?
In retrospect, his band ROCKS.
He was really great.
Haiku # 73499, November 12, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Bernie Taupin of Lyrical Prowess
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