Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 361 Days and 77354 Haiku later...

Golfers whacking it
on ESPN TV.
Look at those balls fly.
Haiku # 73222, November 2, 2021 9:48 am ET
by Jon Rahm taking a break to wash his balls. of He's been Rahming hard.
I'll identify
as a self cleaning toaster
oven on steroids.
Haiku # 73221, November 2, 2021 9:43 am ET
by As seen on TV. of That's me!
I'll boycott this site.
Your prices keep going up.
It used to be free.
Haiku # 73220, November 2, 2021 9:41 am ET
by But look at all it's cost me now!
It is quite simple
I can tell you are confused.
Your pronoun? ....Asshole
Haiku # 73219, November 2, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
He didn't give birth
Just "feeding the geese" so fast
he spewed out his balls
Haiku # 73218, November 2, 2021 7:57 am ET
by Children of the nutsac
Men are giving birth
One fella pushed out breech twins
while watching the game.
Haiku # 73217, November 2, 2021 7:07 am ET
by Stretchmarks of a lonesome schlong
I haven't bathed yet
My pronouns are scratch and sniff
and old monkey butt
Haiku # 73216, November 2, 2021 6:59 am ET
by Old Monkey Butt
My pronoun are "spit".
Spit am genderqueer ally.
We am psychotic.
Haiku # 73215, November 2, 2021 6:20 am ET
by Fran Sanfisco of How DARE You
Sure, I will use them.
Oh, you mean use the pronouns.
I thought the people.
Haiku # 73214, November 2, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't understand.
Transgenderification.
Why be what you're not.
Haiku # 73213, November 2, 2021 6:14 am ET
by Can I be a race car? of I identify as a Formula 1 race car.
My pronouns for you:
OINK/IT/APPLE/RUMP/SOMEONE
You will use them, please.
Haiku # 73212, November 2, 2021 6:13 am ET
by Zhey Am Not Funny of Basic Grammar
I won't need a bath
after you have spit on me.
*bends over* wash it good.
Haiku # 73211, November 2, 2021 6:11 am ET
by Good enough for cats and dogs. of Good enough for the Lord of All Evil.
Halloween candy.
Does the Vatican do that?
Think of the bad jokes.
Haiku # 73210, November 2, 2021 6:08 am ET
by *Ding dong*. Trick or Treat. of What a strange looking candy bar.
Men have chromosomes, but women do not have them.
That's why men give birth.
Haiku # 73209, November 2, 2021 6:07 am ET
by Elementary Biology of Obvious
Men can be mommies.
They give birth AND breastfeed.
Don't deny the truth.
Haiku # 73208, November 2, 2021 6:03 am ET
by Count Kromasones of Transylvania
Numbers one and two:
Darth rolls around in the stuff.
Time to hose him down.
Haiku # 73207, November 2, 2021 5:58 am ET
by Again of Stig Py
If you sleep with Darth
he likes it when you whisper
numbers in his ear
Haiku # 73206, November 2, 2021 5:21 am ET
by Cherry of Pi
Salivation Front:
Lined up, with prayer and Bibles
To spit upon Darth.
Haiku # 73205, November 2, 2021 5:13 am ET
by He Earned the Privilege of Holy Daze Give Thanx
Starvation Army
21 Kettle Salute
Hypocrite Misers!
Haiku # 73204, November 2, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Saliva of Hungry
It is All Saints Day.
The Pope of Rome can kiss off.
He's irrelevant.
Haiku # 73203, November 1, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by St. Martin Luther of Saxony
But it's not abuse.
The dogs seem to enjoy it.
They keep coming back.
Haiku # 73201, November 1, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by Canine happy ending massage service. Treat your pet right! of Dog biscuits and squirell videos included.
Red rocket! Red rocket!
Haiku # 73200, November 1, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by Milking the dog.
It makes me nervous
Imagining the way you
Get dog DNA...
Haiku # 73199, November 1, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by Canine Abuse Support Group
https://linktr.ee/iPhone13GiveawayHOT

iPhone Giveaway 2022
Haiku # 73198, November 1, 2021 5:37 am ET
by belleKak of Andorra
I'm staying in bed
I'm burning up with fever
and freezing cold chills
Haiku # 73197, November 1, 2021 12:49 am ET
by Starkitten
They want a sample
I'm sending dog DNA
Don't tell anyone
Haiku # 73196, November 1, 2021 12:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Maybe I already do.
I want to buy a nuclear warhead if you know anyone selling.
Haiku # 73195, October 31, 2021 11:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Classic movie scenes
now punctuated with farts.
Save me the aisle seat
Haiku # 73194, October 31, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Keanu Reeves of The Gastrix
You say that you're bald
You should get math equations
tattooed on your head
Haiku # 73193, October 31, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by Fun
All gays are poets.
I'm not sure which one is worse.
I'll get back to you...

I just sucked some schlongs.
And then I wrote a poem.
Both in the men's room.

Poetry is worse.
Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Schlongs not quite so much.
Haiku # 73192, October 31, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Next up, hotel room sodomy. of While reading Keats and Poe.
I'm sweetness and light.
You are what you write about.
Yuck. Time for shower.
Haiku # 73191, October 31, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by Rinse the Darth off me of Poetic Hygiene
Why are you so mean?
And you shouldn't talk, my friend
All poets are gay
Haiku # 73190, October 31, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Noticer
Goodbye Halloween.
Put the skeleton away.
Shut the closet door.
Haiku # 73189, October 31, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by All Saints of November 1
You aren't "becoming";
you are ALREADY so gay.
it is evident.
Haiku # 73188, October 31, 2021 9:39 pm ET
by Halloween Sex Therapist of Unbecoming
Why are you evil?
Were you abused as a child?
Well, it's not too late.
Haiku # 73187, October 31, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by Acme S&M Service. of $100/hour. Get in early on your punishment. Why wait for Hell.
Once you smell balot
you will certainly change your mind.
Hell's sulfury pits.
Haiku # 73186, October 31, 2021 7:58 pm ET
by Imagine if you fed a pug dog burritos and scrambled eggs. of And maybe asparagus. Yeah, that's the smell of balot egg when you crack it open.
I am so hungry
I'd eat a balut sandwich
Eating gum for lunch
Haiku # 73185, October 31, 2021 4:20 pm ET
by Name withheld
I've never tried one.
How spicy are ghost peckers?
Eat them with crackers?
Haiku # 73184, October 31, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by I mean flattened, flavored unleavened dough wafers. of Shouldn't call them crackers.
Turducken is old.
Chiduckey: turkey stuffed in
duck stuffed in chicken.
Haiku # 73183, October 31, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by If you don't understand, the Asian girls can explain it.
The living dead, rise!
Drug store closed. No Viagras
Skeleton Boners
Haiku # 73182, October 31, 2021 3:58 pm ET
by Still Life of Ghost pecker
Halloween Special
Prime Grade Midget Turducken
with graveyard gravy
Haiku # 73181, October 31, 2021 3:53 pm ET
by Eerie sound
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Haiku # 73180, October 31, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by Mrgrenintg of Australia
Extra syllable
sticking out like my wiener
in a shopping mall.
Haiku # 73179, October 31, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by Malfunctioning Overcoat.
That's not rocket fuel.
Unless you blast off to Hell.
I could sell tickets.
Haiku # 73178, October 31, 2021 12:19 pm ET
by Visit the Prince of Darkness. of Only $10,000!... Cheaper than Blue Origin.
Hexamine mixed with
ammonium nitrate and
abietic acid.
Haiku # 73177, October 31, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by 90:9:1 of Up to 18000 ft/s
Sorry, got sidetracked.
What were we talking about?
Huffing rocket fuel.
Haiku # 73176, October 31, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by But that was a long time ago. of Should I do it again?
I'm a proud member
of the LPASA.
Abbreviate this!
Haiku # 73175, October 31, 2021 11:58 am ET
by Lazy People Against Stupid Acronyms. of Abbreviated acrobatics.
Sadly, it's easy
to make RDX, but hard
to make LSD.
Haiku # 73174, October 31, 2021 11:56 am ET
by I'll end up on the FBI watch list. of So many acronyms! So little time to figure them all out.
I hope you're okay.
Did you eat poisoned candy?
Gummies overdose?
Haiku # 73173, October 31, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Imagine if some crazy fuck put LSD in all the kids' candy! of I'd do it if I had the LSD, but I'm too cheap to buy it.
How was your party?
Did you find the pink diamond?
Everyone saw it?
Haiku # 73172, October 31, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Or did you just get an Arby's roast beef sandwich? of Extra horsey sauce?
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