Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 24 Days and 77403 Haiku later...

I'll boycott this site.
Your prices keep going up.
It used to be free.
Haiku # 73220, November 2, 2021 9:41 am ET
by But look at all it's cost me now!
It is quite simple
I can tell you are confused.
Your pronoun? ....Asshole
Haiku # 73219, November 2, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
He didn't give birth
Just "feeding the geese" so fast
he spewed out his balls
Haiku # 73218, November 2, 2021 7:57 am ET
by Children of the nutsac
Men are giving birth
One fella pushed out breech twins
while watching the game.
Haiku # 73217, November 2, 2021 7:07 am ET
by Stretchmarks of a lonesome schlong
I haven't bathed yet
My pronouns are scratch and sniff
and old monkey butt
Haiku # 73216, November 2, 2021 6:59 am ET
by Old Monkey Butt
My pronoun are "spit".
Spit am genderqueer ally.
We am psychotic.
Haiku # 73215, November 2, 2021 6:20 am ET
by Fran Sanfisco of How DARE You
Sure, I will use them.
Oh, you mean use the pronouns.
I thought the people.
Haiku # 73214, November 2, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't understand.
Transgenderification.
Why be what you're not.
Haiku # 73213, November 2, 2021 6:14 am ET
by Can I be a race car? of I identify as a Formula 1 race car.
My pronouns for you:
OINK/IT/APPLE/RUMP/SOMEONE
You will use them, please.
Haiku # 73212, November 2, 2021 6:13 am ET
by Zhey Am Not Funny of Basic Grammar
I won't need a bath
after you have spit on me.
*bends over* wash it good.
Haiku # 73211, November 2, 2021 6:11 am ET
by Good enough for cats and dogs. of Good enough for the Lord of All Evil.
Halloween candy.
Does the Vatican do that?
Think of the bad jokes.
Haiku # 73210, November 2, 2021 6:08 am ET
by *Ding dong*. Trick or Treat. of What a strange looking candy bar.
Men have chromosomes, but women do not have them.
That's why men give birth.
Haiku # 73209, November 2, 2021 6:07 am ET
by Elementary Biology of Obvious
Men can be mommies.
They give birth AND breastfeed.
Don't deny the truth.
Haiku # 73208, November 2, 2021 6:03 am ET
by Count Kromasones of Transylvania
Numbers one and two:
Darth rolls around in the stuff.
Time to hose him down.
Haiku # 73207, November 2, 2021 5:58 am ET
by Again of Stig Py
If you sleep with Darth
he likes it when you whisper
numbers in his ear
Haiku # 73206, November 2, 2021 5:21 am ET
by Cherry of Pi
Salivation Front:
Lined up, with prayer and Bibles
To spit upon Darth.
Haiku # 73205, November 2, 2021 5:13 am ET
by He Earned the Privilege of Holy Daze Give Thanx
Starvation Army
21 Kettle Salute
Hypocrite Misers!
Haiku # 73204, November 2, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Saliva of Hungry
It is All Saints Day.
The Pope of Rome can kiss off.
He's irrelevant.
Haiku # 73203, November 1, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by St. Martin Luther of Saxony
But it's not abuse.
The dogs seem to enjoy it.
They keep coming back.
Haiku # 73201, November 1, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by Canine happy ending massage service. Treat your pet right! of Dog biscuits and squirell videos included.
Red rocket! Red rocket!
Haiku # 73200, November 1, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by Milking the dog.
It makes me nervous
Imagining the way you
Get dog DNA...
Haiku # 73199, November 1, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by Canine Abuse Support Group
https://linktr.ee/iPhone13GiveawayHOT

iPhone Giveaway 2022
Haiku # 73198, November 1, 2021 5:37 am ET
by belleKak of Andorra
I'm staying in bed
I'm burning up with fever
and freezing cold chills
Haiku # 73197, November 1, 2021 12:49 am ET
by Starkitten
They want a sample
I'm sending dog DNA
Don't tell anyone
Haiku # 73196, November 1, 2021 12:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Maybe I already do.
I want to buy a nuclear warhead if you know anyone selling.
Haiku # 73195, October 31, 2021 11:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Classic movie scenes
now punctuated with farts.
Save me the aisle seat
Haiku # 73194, October 31, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Keanu Reeves of The Gastrix
You say that you're bald
You should get math equations
tattooed on your head
Haiku # 73193, October 31, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by Fun
All gays are poets.
I'm not sure which one is worse.
I'll get back to you...

I just sucked some schlongs.
And then I wrote a poem.
Both in the men's room.

Poetry is worse.
Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Schlongs not quite so much.
Haiku # 73192, October 31, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Next up, hotel room sodomy. of While reading Keats and Poe.
I'm sweetness and light.
You are what you write about.
Yuck. Time for shower.
Haiku # 73191, October 31, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by Rinse the Darth off me of Poetic Hygiene
Why are you so mean?
And you shouldn't talk, my friend
All poets are gay
Haiku # 73190, October 31, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Noticer
Goodbye Halloween.
Put the skeleton away.
Shut the closet door.
Haiku # 73189, October 31, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by All Saints of November 1
You aren't "becoming";
you are ALREADY so gay.
it is evident.
Haiku # 73188, October 31, 2021 9:39 pm ET
by Halloween Sex Therapist of Unbecoming
Why are you evil?
Were you abused as a child?
Well, it's not too late.
Haiku # 73187, October 31, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by Acme S&M Service. of $100/hour. Get in early on your punishment. Why wait for Hell.
Once you smell balot
you will certainly change your mind.
Hell's sulfury pits.
Haiku # 73186, October 31, 2021 7:58 pm ET
by Imagine if you fed a pug dog burritos and scrambled eggs. of And maybe asparagus. Yeah, that's the smell of balot egg when you crack it open.
I am so hungry
I'd eat a balut sandwich
Eating gum for lunch
Haiku # 73185, October 31, 2021 4:20 pm ET
by Name withheld
I've never tried one.
How spicy are ghost peckers?
Eat them with crackers?
Haiku # 73184, October 31, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by I mean flattened, flavored unleavened dough wafers. of Shouldn't call them crackers.
Turducken is old.
Chiduckey: turkey stuffed in
duck stuffed in chicken.
Haiku # 73183, October 31, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by If you don't understand, the Asian girls can explain it.
The living dead, rise!
Drug store closed. No Viagras
Skeleton Boners
Haiku # 73182, October 31, 2021 3:58 pm ET
by Still Life of Ghost pecker
Halloween Special
Prime Grade Midget Turducken
with graveyard gravy
Haiku # 73181, October 31, 2021 3:53 pm ET
by Eerie sound
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Haiku # 73180, October 31, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by Mrgrenintg of Australia
Extra syllable
sticking out like my wiener
in a shopping mall.
Haiku # 73179, October 31, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by Malfunctioning Overcoat.
That's not rocket fuel.
Unless you blast off to Hell.
I could sell tickets.
Haiku # 73178, October 31, 2021 12:19 pm ET
by Visit the Prince of Darkness. of Only $10,000!... Cheaper than Blue Origin.
Hexamine mixed with
ammonium nitrate and
abietic acid.
Haiku # 73177, October 31, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by 90:9:1 of Up to 18000 ft/s
Sorry, got sidetracked.
What were we talking about?
Huffing rocket fuel.
Haiku # 73176, October 31, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by But that was a long time ago. of Should I do it again?
I'm a proud member
of the LPASA.
Abbreviate this!
Haiku # 73175, October 31, 2021 11:58 am ET
by Lazy People Against Stupid Acronyms. of Abbreviated acrobatics.
Sadly, it's easy
to make RDX, but hard
to make LSD.
Haiku # 73174, October 31, 2021 11:56 am ET
by I'll end up on the FBI watch list. of So many acronyms! So little time to figure them all out.
I hope you're okay.
Did you eat poisoned candy?
Gummies overdose?
Haiku # 73173, October 31, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Imagine if some crazy fuck put LSD in all the kids' candy! of I'd do it if I had the LSD, but I'm too cheap to buy it.
How was your party?
Did you find the pink diamond?
Everyone saw it?
Haiku # 73172, October 31, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Or did you just get an Arby's roast beef sandwich? of Extra horsey sauce?
I'm becoming gay.
Put chocolate in my coffee.
Cream in the chocolate.
Haiku # 73171, October 31, 2021 9:16 am ET
by Next up, public park glory holes.
God makes it rain shit.
And He promised no more floods.
And yet we're drowning.
Haiku # 73170, October 31, 2021 9:12 am ET
by Genesis 9:11 of That was before Phil Collins joined.
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