Customer service?
Found a hair in my candies
Oompa Loompa pubes!

It's a lot of work
Inserting a razor blade
in every apple

I pick Black Sabbath.
Their music is biblical.
The Lord likes that band.

Halloween is shit.
Typical U.S. blowout:
Plastic and sugar.

I tried Thorazine
It was back in the 80's...
It made my brain crawl.

The one that we pick
is your Halloween costume?
I pick Van Halen

High on Wonka bars
wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt
It's Darthula Roth!

Doing the backflip
Scaring old people at mall
The obvious choice

Pick one:
Ozzy Osbourne
Motley Crue
Van Halen (with David Lee)
Led Zepplin
Pink Floyd

God hates all poets.
Not just the ones who write here.
Yes, even Shakespere.

Had too much to drink.
Ate balot with vinegar.
Barfed up duck fetus.

Now I'm one of them.
Next week we do human flesh.
Maybe Halloween.

Cannabalism,
mushrooms and lots of good rum.
Life gets no better.

A clean asylum.
Sanitary sanity.
Nurse Ratchet's undies.

Ladies' room trashcan.
Unsanitary napkins.
Vampire tea bags.

Sale! Bad Haiku Merch
Signed Figpucker coffee mug
Unsanitary!

He wrote things backwards
Leonardo Da Vinci
!! SKCUS OIRPACID

I just looked into
Gizzards of cassowaries
A dangerous bird

The gizzard, also referred to as the ventriculus, gastric mill, and gigerium, is an organ found in the digestive tract of some animals, including archosaurs (pterosaurs, crocodiles, alligators, dinosaurs including birds), earthworms, some gastropods, some fish, and some crustaceans. This specialized stomach constructed of thick muscular walls is used for grinding up food, often aided by particles of stone or grit. In certain insects and molluscs, the gizzard features chitinous plates or teeth.

The Bible needs more.
Oh so many modern sins.
Hawaiian pizza!

Jesus loves us all.
Even if we write haiku.
One amazing guy.

I heard a buzzing.
It's a giant mosquito!
No, Mary Poppins.

Yuppy women say,
"I think I'll do a latte."
I'd like to see that.

One way to get wet.
Minor emergency burns.
Those urban legends.

Mary Poppins twat
The flapping makes her fly
over the rooftops

Thirty years ago
I worked for a bakery
Now I just get baked

I don't "do" donuts.
Tried it once, it's too sticky.
Croissants, however...

Father, forgive me
I thought this confessional
was the Men's restroom

Forgiven, my son
But did you have to wipe your
ass with the Bible?

What is a gizzard?

How much coffee
are you guzzling over there?
What about doughnuts?

No one knows this, but
there's a fox living on top
Donald Trump's head

Woke Halloween. Masks
are inherently racist.
But whiteface is cool.

Halloween Costume!
Simon and Garfunkel suit
Fits all conjoined twins

Old and wrinkled now
Manson Family Reunion
Witchy Golden Girls

The Manson costume
Go for the hippie love beads
or orange jumpsuit?

Meat Lovers' Pizza
Eat the delivery guy
this Halloween night

Just plain old Charlie.
Two weeks of method acting.
I might go too far.

A Mary Poppins
cross dressing Charles Manson!
...No, I better not.

Supercalifrag-
ilisticexpiali-
docious is stupid.

Back to Halloween.
What do cannibals look like?
Difficult costume.

If cannibals ate
Sir Isaac Newton, would they
then know calculus?

You need an alarm.
Warns you of new haiku posts.
Respond right away!

Could always be worse.
At least it's not calculus.
I miss Fig Newtons.

Halloween is close.
Which monster is scariest?
What should I go as?

More importantly,
depending on who you ask,
can that monster surf?

Will they eat themselves
if they get the munchies bad?
Cannibals, I mean.

Cannibal #1: "Hey, Bob, missing an arm this morning, I see."
Cannibal #2: "Yeah, me and the missus smoked a bit too much of that Polonesian Purple last night. You know how it is."
Cannibal #1: "I hear you, my brother. We ate mom at the family reunion last week when cousin John brought half an ounce of home grown. Gonna miss her."

This world needs more cats,
fewer dogs, and no people.
Except cannibals.

I grew the catnip
Plant name is Little Buddy
Plant more weed. Less Squash.

If you snort catnip,
you'll better understand life
and how good mice taste.

Love me some Hendrix.
All Along The Watchtower.
Played it on repeat.

Ghislaine and Jeffrey
Sitting in a tree. K-I-
S-S-I-N-G.

Darth is my deejay
I got into the catnip
and cranked up Jimi

Seen "Shop of Horrors"?
Feed me Seymore! Love that line.
Oh! And the dentist.

It's not as bad as
G.G. Allin flinging poo.
He's a Russian bot.

I bet you bot that.
And now you are All in, right?
Cheesy overdose.

Cholesterol death.
But when it's all said and done,
I can live with that.

Feed me haiku. More.
Now is the time to eat verse.
Eat. Eat and be filled.

So this is your feed?
Not Purina Kitten Chow?
Is it really YOURS?

I thought it was mine.
I peed all over this site.
So that means it's mine!

Fuck your Cyrillic.
You are an algorithm.
Get off my feed. REEEEEEE!!!!!!!