Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 316 Days and 76709 Haiku later...

Do you like nature?
Have you ever fucked a tree
Like right in the trunk?
Haiku # 72534, October 9, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Lichen of Growing on you
Friends with benefits
and friends with the Benedicts strings attached
Haiku # 72533, October 9, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by Mouthful of Jimmy Dean
I know you're real busy
fucking a giant sea snail
but write some haiku!
Haiku # 72532, October 9, 2021 6:11 pm ET
by Looking for Mr. Figbar
My work's at the Louvre
An abstract study in brown
Oops, I meant the Loo
Haiku # 72531, October 9, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by Won't you come on up and see my etchings of fun sized penises?
water colors made me burp.
Haiku # 72530, October 9, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
acrylic made me laugh
Haiku # 72529, October 9, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Noticer
Saturnalia much?
So you mean you are Saturn...
and not Uranus?
Haiku # 72528, October 8, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Christ was born in February of Ask a Rabbi
December two five
Mark it on your calendar
My fucking birthday
Haiku # 72527, October 8, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Jesus
Fuck scotch in its ass!
Rum -- the original grog!
Scotch is golfers piss.
Haiku # 72526, October 8, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Release the Kraken! of And Coke and ice.
Listen to Clara!
That's Clara the samba queen.
The hell wrong with you?
Haiku # 72525, October 8, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Orixa of Yemanjaa
"kick the ball, fucker"
- dad at my kid's soccer game
(oh, his kid's "Tucker")
Haiku # 72524, October 8, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by scotch of shouldn't have cursed him out
Is it time to die?
Barbeque potato chips.
See all that science.

WalMart Rascal ride.
Because it's free and I can.
The think something's wrong.

See the ugliness.
I sense that war is coming.
Is it time to die?
Haiku # 72523, October 8, 2021 2:58 pm ET
by Puddin' and Tang
We certainly need
Acrylic letter blockage.
Keep commies away.
Haiku # 72522, October 8, 2021 2:50 pm ET
by spelling was never my strong suit. написание дипломных

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Haiku # 72521, October 8, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Radjukevichges of Russia
Friday: just drink scotch.
You will reach your objectives
and think more clearly.
Haiku # 72520, October 8, 2021 1:46 pm ET
by Hoot Mon of Glasgow
death to all haiku
fuck this syllable counting
i'm out of coffee
Haiku # 72519, October 8, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by scotch of just another manic friday
That's the word that got me blocked,
But it's a real word!
Haiku # 72518, October 8, 2021 11:34 am ET
by Aimé Cesaire of Negritude
My name is your name
And I'm a Claraholic
On a float in Rio
Haiku # 72517, October 8, 2021 11:25 am ET
by Cuica of Rica
Haiku # 72516, October 8, 2021 10:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
How we celebrate
Canadian Thanksgiving
Deep fried Kraft Dinner
Haiku # 72515, October 8, 2021 8:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Looks like someone's been
off their anti-trolling meds.
You better comply.

They'll put you back in.
The Old Troll Home/Asylum.
You don't want that, right?
Haiku # 72514, October 8, 2021 8:40 am ET
by Maybe up the dosage too!
My muse taught Clara
Everything single thing she knows
about life and art.
Haiku # 72513, October 8, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Guica of Linguica
That Clara Nunes...
She's my Portuguese teacher.
Endless Carnival.
Haiku # 72512, October 8, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Guica of Rio de J
That Clara Nunes...
She's my Portuguese teacher.
Endless Carnival.
Haiku # 72511, October 8, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Guica of Rio de J
My name's Starkitten
and I'm a darthaholic
(passed out in gutter)
Haiku # 72510, October 8, 2021 1:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
one fart, ha ha ha!
two farts, ha ha ha! three, four
counting is a gas
Haiku # 72509, October 7, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by scotch of open sesame
Sometimes I count farts.
Do it through slowed audio.
Hear each vibration.
Haiku # 72508, October 7, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by "Boring" is a word for prostitute. Ha ha ha!
Just figured it out
Why Darth loves Haiku so much
Syllable Counting
Haiku # 72507, October 7, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by High Motility of Syllable Count
Mayan tendencies:
Get off with a stingray spine.
Stick it somewhere new.
Haiku # 72506, October 7, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Ucha'an K'an B'alam of Bleed for Me
The boring penis
Boring a hole through your back
Spina Darthada
Haiku # 72505, October 7, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Please of Don't Find a Cure
Oh pathetic Darth.
You BORE me for goodness' sake...
Too much sex and shit.
Haiku # 72504, October 7, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Yuchhhh of Shower After Reading
I let an earth worm
crawl up inside my weeny.
It's a cummy worm!
Haiku # 72503, October 7, 2021 6:29 pm ET
by har har har
Poisoning children.
What's your favorite method?
Try nuclear waste!

It's going to be
a fantastic Halloween.
LSD's passe.
Haiku # 72502, October 7, 2021 6:27 pm ET
by of Not one case ever reported! You can be the first to try! Go down in infamy!
If you bang weenies,
more than candy will fly out.
Marshmallow topping!
Haiku # 72501, October 7, 2021 6:23 pm ET
by Have you ever seen a mallow in a marsh? Have you? of I didn't think so!
Your weenie's hollow?
Use it for a Peeñata
Bang hard with a stick
Haiku # 72500, October 7, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Blindfolded of Banging
Slutty cat costumes
won't arouse hollow weenies.
Viagra candy!
Haiku # 72499, October 7, 2021 5:05 pm ET
by Her tricks come with treats. of You can cum on her teats!
Hey halloweenies!
Let us all get ourselves spooked
By the C.I.A.
Haiku # 72498, October 7, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by And Royal Canadian Mounties
Damn, Janis. I thought
my VPN was working.
Stole your name. Sorry
Haiku # 72497, October 7, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by Just For Fun of Reykjavik, Botswana
guy bangs on my door
needs to inspect my backyard
with his theremin
Haiku # 72496, October 7, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by scotch of says he's looking for a sewer line, but i know a theremin when i hear one
Halloween costume
featuring my camel toe
Now, to find a hump
Haiku # 72495, October 7, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by Preparation H(alloween)
Instead of candy
Give 'em the smell of a fart
It won't rot your teeth
Haiku # 72494, October 7, 2021 4:23 pm ET
by Cabbage Night of Forever
Hallow's Eve draws near.
It is Halloween all year
Your haiku is queer.
Haiku # 72493, October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Starkitten was here
Haiku # 72492, October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Genital Graveyard
Here lies the world's biggest dick
and a bunch of cunts
Haiku # 72491, October 7, 2021 4:16 pm ET
by Kneeling of Headstone
I knew all those names
Were really just one chatbot.
Farting chatbot Darth.
Haiku # 72490, October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Not-Janis of Definitely not using a VPN
"yes, i'm a mummy.
but no, i'm not the mummy."
small talk at the mash
Haiku # 72489, October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by scotch of graveyard smash
there would be no fight
dracula and the mummy
would just do the mash
Haiku # 72488, October 7, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by scotch of wanna mash?
I saw seven frogs.
Sitting on five lillypads.
Filthy little things.
Haiku # 72487, October 7, 2021 3:16 pm ET
by e bye
Who'd win in a fight,
Dracula or the Mummy?
Explain your answer.
Haiku # 72486, October 7, 2021 3:13 pm ET
by the way, I'm recording this.
I got arrested.
Stealing tombstones for my yard.
I just borrowed them.

"The owners won't mind.
Go over there and ask them!"
The judge didn't laugh.

I guess it's good that
I didn't get a coffin.
But I was gonna.
Haiku # 72485, October 7, 2021 3:10 pm ET
by Gram-gram won't mind! of If she knew, she'd say it was okay.
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