Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 339 Days and 72781 Haikus later...

Looks like someone's been
off their anti-trolling meds.
You better comply.

They'll put you back in.
The Old Troll Home/Asylum.
You don't want that, right?
Haiku # 72514, October 8, 2021 8:40 am ET
by Maybe up the dosage too!
My muse taught Clara
Everything single thing she knows
about life and art.
Haiku # 72513, October 8, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Guica of Linguica
That Clara Nunes...
She's my Portuguese teacher.
Endless Carnival.

https://youtu.be/HZqQjKfKk64
Haiku # 72512, October 8, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Guica of Rio de J
That Clara Nunes...
She's my Portuguese teacher.
Endless Carnival.

https://youtu.be/HZqQjKfKk64
Haiku # 72511, October 8, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Guica of Rio de J
My name's Starkitten
and I'm a darthaholic
(passed out in gutter)
Haiku # 72510, October 8, 2021 1:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
one fart, ha ha ha!
two farts, ha ha ha! three, four
counting is a gas
Haiku # 72509, October 7, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by scotch of open sesame
Sometimes I count farts.
Do it through slowed audio.
Hear each vibration.
Haiku # 72508, October 7, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by "Boring" is a word for prostitute. Ha ha ha!
Just figured it out
Why Darth loves Haiku so much
Syllable Counting
Haiku # 72507, October 7, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by High Motility of Syllable Count
Mayan tendencies:
Get off with a stingray spine.
Stick it somewhere new.
Haiku # 72506, October 7, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Ucha'an K'an B'alam of Bleed for Me
The boring penis
Boring a hole through your back
Spina Darthada
Haiku # 72505, October 7, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Please of Don't Find a Cure
Oh pathetic Darth.
You BORE me for goodness' sake...
Too much sex and shit.
Haiku # 72504, October 7, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Yuchhhh of Shower After Reading
I let an earth worm
crawl up inside my weeny.
It's a cummy worm!
Haiku # 72503, October 7, 2021 6:29 pm ET
by har har har
Poisoning children.
What's your favorite method?
Try nuclear waste!

It's going to be
a fantastic Halloween.
LSD's passe.
Haiku # 72502, October 7, 2021 6:27 pm ET
by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoned_candy_myths of Not one case ever reported! You can be the first to try! Go down in infamy!
If you bang weenies,
more than candy will fly out.
Marshmallow topping!
Haiku # 72501, October 7, 2021 6:23 pm ET
by Have you ever seen a mallow in a marsh? Have you? of I didn't think so!
Your weenie's hollow?
Use it for a Peeñata
Bang hard with a stick
Haiku # 72500, October 7, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Blindfolded of Banging
Slutty cat costumes
won't arouse hollow weenies.
Viagra candy!
Haiku # 72499, October 7, 2021 5:05 pm ET
by Her tricks come with treats. of You can cum on her teats!
Hey halloweenies!
Let us all get ourselves spooked
By the C.I.A.
Haiku # 72498, October 7, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by And Royal Canadian Mounties
Damn, Janis. I thought
my VPN was working.
Stole your name. Sorry
Haiku # 72497, October 7, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by Just For Fun of Reykjavik, Botswana
guy bangs on my door
needs to inspect my backyard
with his theremin
Haiku # 72496, October 7, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by scotch of says he's looking for a sewer line, but i know a theremin when i hear one
Halloween costume
featuring my camel toe
Now, to find a hump
Haiku # 72495, October 7, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by Preparation H(alloween)
Instead of candy
Give 'em the smell of a fart
It won't rot your teeth
Haiku # 72494, October 7, 2021 4:23 pm ET
by Cabbage Night of Forever
Hallow's Eve draws near.
It is Halloween all year
Your haiku is queer.
Haiku # 72493, October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Starkitten was here
Haiku # 72492, October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Genital Graveyard
Here lies the world's biggest dick
and a bunch of cunts
Haiku # 72491, October 7, 2021 4:16 pm ET
by Kneeling of Headstone
I knew all those names
Were really just one chatbot.
Farting chatbot Darth.
Haiku # 72490, October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Not-Janis of Definitely not using a VPN
"yes, i'm a mummy.
but no, i'm not the mummy."
small talk at the mash
Haiku # 72489, October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by scotch of graveyard smash
there would be no fight
dracula and the mummy
would just do the mash
Haiku # 72488, October 7, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by scotch of wanna mash?
I saw seven frogs.
Sitting on five lillypads.
Filthy little things.
Haiku # 72487, October 7, 2021 3:16 pm ET
by e bye
Who'd win in a fight,
Dracula or the Mummy?
Explain your answer.
Haiku # 72486, October 7, 2021 3:13 pm ET
by the way, I'm recording this.
I got arrested.
Stealing tombstones for my yard.
I just borrowed them.

"The owners won't mind.
Go over there and ask them!"
The judge didn't laugh.

I guess it's good that
I didn't get a coffin.
But I was gonna.
Haiku # 72485, October 7, 2021 3:10 pm ET
by Gram-gram won't mind! of If she knew, she'd say it was okay.
What will you go as
for Halloween this fine year.
I will be a fart!
Haiku # 72484, October 7, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Not going to be easy, but I think I can do it.
Scotch is horrible.
But nowhere as bad as gin.
Real pirates drink rum!
Haiku # 72483, October 7, 2021 3:03 pm ET
by And that's good enough for me! of Release the Kraken!
When I asked Jesus why there was only one set of footprints in the dessert, he replied: "Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers."
Haiku # 72482, October 7, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by Darth Luke of Galilee or something.
teach a man to phish
and he'll say you've received cash
click this link to claim
Haiku # 72481, October 7, 2021 2:21 pm ET
by scotch of https://paypa1.com
Starkitten was here
Haiku # 72480, October 7, 2021 2:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let's have a threesome
Hot Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
So satisfying
Haiku # 72479, October 7, 2021 2:00 pm ET
by I. Gottasplinter of Pounding the table
You found some bagpipes?
Make sure they're really bagpipes
before you blow them
Haiku # 72478, October 7, 2021 1:27 pm ET
by Scotchgard of The Chesterfield
The truly elite
Are found on this fine website.
Super-rich haiku.
Haiku # 72477, October 7, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Haiku Cognoscenti of Endowed to 5th Generation
Scotch that one, Scotty.
Scotch bonnet, bagpipes and tape...
and Scotch uskebaugh!
Haiku # 72476, October 7, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Tartan of MacGillicuddy Clan
lord jc? who's that?
i meant jesus martinez
works at the bi-rite
Haiku # 72475, October 7, 2021 10:41 am ET
by scotch
He's living rent-free
In your head: the Lord J.C...
You and Trinity
Haiku # 72474, October 7, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whenever we kiss
he slides in with a lewd grin
"make room for jesus"
Haiku # 72473, October 7, 2021 1:17 am ET
by scotch of once was enough...okay, maybe twice
at first I was mad
then he suggested we all
"have a trinity"
Haiku # 72472, October 7, 2021 1:10 am ET
by scotch of jesus!
so i asked jesus -
he said i was forgiven
and hit on my girl
Haiku # 72471, October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by scotch of awkward
That Footprints poem
where there's just one set of tracks
Make it a third leg
Haiku # 72470, October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Jesus Christ of Walking on water magic trick spoiler alert
Why not take the stairs
headfirst, dressed like Superman?
See if you can fly
Haiku # 72469, October 7, 2021 12:58 am ET
by Pocketful of Cryptocurrency
Burning lava path!
A red hot crusty rupture!
That's just in your pants
Haiku # 72468, October 7, 2021 12:52 am ET
by Sir John Thomas Burns of It's a terrible situation
Prison volcano
But the lava's in reverse
Pompeii is so gay
Haiku # 72467, October 6, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Prisoner who can't sit of Sponsored by Lava Soap
Halloween this year.
Edibles for all the kids.
At least I hope so.
Haiku # 72466, October 6, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Three hots and a cot. of Freedom is overrated. I think that soap bar will fit up there. Let's try!
I will forgive you
only if Jesus does too,
otherwise piss off.
Haiku # 72465, October 6, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by
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