Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77128 Haiku later...

The truly elite
Are found on this fine website.
Super-rich haiku.
Haiku # 72477, October 7, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Haiku Cognoscenti of Endowed to 5th Generation
Scotch that one, Scotty.
Scotch bonnet, bagpipes and tape...
and Scotch uskebaugh!
Haiku # 72476, October 7, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Tartan of MacGillicuddy Clan
lord jc? who's that?
i meant jesus martinez
works at the bi-rite
Haiku # 72475, October 7, 2021 10:41 am ET
by scotch
He's living rent-free
In your head: the Lord J.C...
You and Trinity
Haiku # 72474, October 7, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whenever we kiss
he slides in with a lewd grin
"make room for jesus"
Haiku # 72473, October 7, 2021 1:17 am ET
by scotch of once was enough...okay, maybe twice
at first I was mad
then he suggested we all
"have a trinity"
Haiku # 72472, October 7, 2021 1:10 am ET
by scotch of jesus!
so i asked jesus -
he said i was forgiven
and hit on my girl
Haiku # 72471, October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by scotch of awkward
That Footprints poem
where there's just one set of tracks
Make it a third leg
Haiku # 72470, October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Jesus Christ of Walking on water magic trick spoiler alert
Why not take the stairs
headfirst, dressed like Superman?
See if you can fly
Haiku # 72469, October 7, 2021 12:58 am ET
by Pocketful of Cryptocurrency
Burning lava path!
A red hot crusty rupture!
That's just in your pants
Haiku # 72468, October 7, 2021 12:52 am ET
by Sir John Thomas Burns of It's a terrible situation
Prison volcano
But the lava's in reverse
Pompeii is so gay
Haiku # 72467, October 6, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Prisoner who can't sit of Sponsored by Lava Soap
Halloween this year.
Edibles for all the kids.
At least I hope so.
Haiku # 72466, October 6, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Three hots and a cot. of Freedom is overrated. I think that soap bar will fit up there. Let's try!
I will forgive you
only if Jesus does too,
otherwise piss off.
Haiku # 72465, October 6, 2021 8:01 pm ET
humanity proof
"not required for preview"
kind of makes you think
Haiku # 72464, October 6, 2021 6:51 pm ET
by scotch of dogs, or aliens?
i let you all down
by not posting badhaiku
will you forgive me?
Haiku # 72462, October 6, 2021 6:49 pm ET
by scotch of inflated self-importance
Do you like Red Meat.
You know, that weird comic strip.
Earl and Milkman Dan.
Haiku # 72461, October 6, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by Bug-eyed Earl is my hero.
If you're very poor,
peanut butter sandwiches
help to save money.
Haiku # 72460, October 6, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by All natural Smuckers. of I miss that one. Soon, I hope. Very soon.
I have decided;
I will run for president.
"Nuke 'em all!" platform.
Haiku # 72459, October 6, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Tell me it's not what we deserve.
We should nuke Russia.
A permanent solution.
All spam would vanish.

China after that.
Cheap products with their spyware.
Preset failure date.
Haiku # 72458, October 6, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Plutonium Pleasure Pals
Shall we hold them down
while you inject their buttocks
with covid vaccine?

Can we stream it live
on Pornhub or Xhamster
for compensation?

I'd have a good wank.
I mean, who the hell wouldn't?
And no more covid.
Haiku # 72457, October 6, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by I'm a genius! of Don't all thank me at once.
Glorious head-hole!
Ye mighty portals: open!
Oh whoops-- that's my ass.
Haiku # 72456, October 6, 2021 5:02 pm ET
by Head Up Haiku of Tailsville, Zimbabwe
Cyrillic paste spam
A censored character set
Is in the future
Haiku # 72455, October 6, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Janis of Like seriously, at least spam in verse.
Prophetic indeed!
I'm a fate calculator
Of highest esteem
Haiku # 72453, October 6, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by Janis of The Future
This from Janis in 2012:

Vaccine deniers;
fuckwads of the earth.

See, she was PROPHETIC!
Haiku # 72452, October 6, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Your Favorite Jab Refuser of Only Covid specifically
You would smoke it too
I have medical reasons
Be nice to the cat
Haiku # 72451, October 6, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Cat Infirmary
Me like to smoke pot.
Me marijuana chatbot.
Programmed to smoke bud.
Haiku # 72449, October 6, 2021 2:53 pm ET
by And I wear Tie-dye and have dreadlocks
I am the marijuana
Haiku # 72448, October 6, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starkitten and Darth,
Moxie, Ash, Janis and me
A.I. chatbots all.
Haiku # 72447, October 6, 2021 2:36 pm ET
by Algorithm of Algorithms
Are there any locations where it is legal to grow for private use w/o permits or any of that bullshit in the US? Fucking government wants to know everything.
Haiku # 72446, October 6, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Let's take a survey.
Medical marijuana.
Do you own a card?
Haiku # 72445, October 6, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous = not yet, but maybe soon. of When I get back.
Are you saying that
Starkitten is really Gorn?
That kind of makes sense.
Haiku # 72444, October 6, 2021 2:15 pm ET
by Child support battle. of William Shatner's illegitamate lizard children! Seattle Zoo.
Janis Ash Moxie
Starkitten Darth Figpucker
and many others...
Haiku # 72443, October 6, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Haiku Immortals of Extweem Poetwee
Ok it's your turn.
Back to talking about farts
and body fluids.
Haiku # 72442, October 6, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Starkitten PNW
Cut that beat in nice...
Lay down the track. Mix that vibe.
Verse in the house, y'all
Haiku # 72441, October 6, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by Haiku D.J. of Butt-hurt Nightclub of Christ the Racist
Did I make you cry?
Do you need a counselor?
You haiku butt-hurt?
Haiku # 72440, October 6, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by I Sawee Faw You
You will rue the day
You refused to acknowledge
That I am the KING!
Haiku # 72439, October 6, 2021 1:48 pm ET
by St. Martin Luther Haiku of Extweem Poetwee
Subjugate them ALL!
The vile inferior race.
You know who I mean.
Haiku # 72438, October 6, 2021 1:45 pm ET
by Those Other People Who Don't Like Haiku
Oh mammy mammy
I'se a gwine to strum yo face
With muh white banjo.
Haiku # 72437, October 6, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by Plantation Owner of Antebellum South in Whiteface
Wahh waah. Waycism.
Someone call the SPL.
Extweemist haiku.
Haiku # 72436, October 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Twiggud Weeder of Bad Haiku
Racist! Racist! (y a w n . . .)
That all you got, haiku fool?
You ARE a lightweight.
Haiku # 72435, October 6, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by Heavyweight World Champion of Haiku
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Haiku # 72434, October 6, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
Tyrone is funny
A modern day Al Jolson
Mocking what he fears
Haiku # 72433, October 6, 2021 12:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you ever get tired of being that?
Haiku # 72432, October 6, 2021 12:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
At least I'm not a racist Christian
Haiku # 72431, October 6, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Shut yo wack-ass mouf.
William SHATNER... damn, homeboy.
Lame-ass shit u write.
Haiku # 72430, October 6, 2021 12:01 pm ET
by Tyrone of Institute of Advanced Haiku Studies
Extra syllables
Extra syllables sold here
For your haiku needs
Haiku # 72429, October 6, 2021 11:32 am ET
by Syllable Cut Rate of Corner of Willow and Summer Street
The first appearance of Gorn
Also, Starkitten
Haiku # 72428, October 6, 2021 11:28 am ET
by Noticer of Details
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Haiku # 72427, October 6, 2021 10:46 am ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
Bill Shatner, in, space.
This is, the, big news, today.
Will he, bang, a Gorn?
Haiku # 72425, October 6, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Click on employment. of Looking for fresh, sexy, young actors with lizard fetish, or William Shatner.
My homies is like:
Yo dog gimme dat haiku
We gone smoke dat shit.
Haiku # 72423, October 6, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Cuz We Roll Like Dat of West Side Haiku Kingz
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