Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 152 Days and 77033 Haiku later...

Shall we hold them down
while you inject their buttocks
with covid vaccine?

Can we stream it live
on Pornhub or Xhamster
for compensation?

I'd have a good wank.
I mean, who the hell wouldn't?
And no more covid.
Haiku # 72457, October 6, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by I'm a genius! of Don't all thank me at once.
Glorious head-hole!
Ye mighty portals: open!
Oh whoops-- that's my ass.
Haiku # 72456, October 6, 2021 5:02 pm ET
by Head Up Haiku of Tailsville, Zimbabwe
Cyrillic paste spam
A censored character set
Is in the future
Haiku # 72455, October 6, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Janis of Like seriously, at least spam in verse.
Prophetic indeed!
I'm a fate calculator
Of highest esteem
Haiku # 72453, October 6, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by Janis of The Future
This from Janis in 2012:

Vaccine deniers;
fuckwads of the earth.

See, she was PROPHETIC!
Haiku # 72452, October 6, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Your Favorite Jab Refuser of Only Covid specifically
You would smoke it too
I have medical reasons
Be nice to the cat
Haiku # 72451, October 6, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Cat Infirmary
Me like to smoke pot.
Me marijuana chatbot.
Programmed to smoke bud.
Haiku # 72449, October 6, 2021 2:53 pm ET
by And I wear Tie-dye and have dreadlocks
I am the marijuana
Haiku # 72448, October 6, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starkitten and Darth,
Moxie, Ash, Janis and me
A.I. chatbots all.
Haiku # 72447, October 6, 2021 2:36 pm ET
by Algorithm of Algorithms
Are there any locations where it is legal to grow for private use w/o permits or any of that bullshit in the US? Fucking government wants to know everything.
Haiku # 72446, October 6, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Let's take a survey.
Medical marijuana.
Do you own a card?
Haiku # 72445, October 6, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous = not yet, but maybe soon. of When I get back.
Are you saying that
Starkitten is really Gorn?
That kind of makes sense.
Haiku # 72444, October 6, 2021 2:15 pm ET
by Child support battle. of William Shatner's illegitamate lizard children! Seattle Zoo.
Janis Ash Moxie
Starkitten Darth Figpucker
and many others...
Haiku # 72443, October 6, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Haiku Immortals of Extweem Poetwee
Ok it's your turn.
Back to talking about farts
and body fluids.
Haiku # 72442, October 6, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Starkitten PNW
Cut that beat in nice...
Lay down the track. Mix that vibe.
Verse in the house, y'all
Haiku # 72441, October 6, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by Haiku D.J. of Butt-hurt Nightclub of Christ the Racist
Did I make you cry?
Do you need a counselor?
You haiku butt-hurt?
Haiku # 72440, October 6, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by I Sawee Faw You
You will rue the day
You refused to acknowledge
That I am the KING!
Haiku # 72439, October 6, 2021 1:48 pm ET
by St. Martin Luther Haiku of Extweem Poetwee
Subjugate them ALL!
The vile inferior race.
You know who I mean.
Haiku # 72438, October 6, 2021 1:45 pm ET
by Those Other People Who Don't Like Haiku
Oh mammy mammy
I'se a gwine to strum yo face
With muh white banjo.
Haiku # 72437, October 6, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by Plantation Owner of Antebellum South in Whiteface
Wahh waah. Waycism.
Someone call the SPL.
Extweemist haiku.
Haiku # 72436, October 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Twiggud Weeder of Bad Haiku
Racist! Racist! (y a w n . . .)
That all you got, haiku fool?
You ARE a lightweight.
Haiku # 72435, October 6, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by Heavyweight World Champion of Haiku
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Haiku # 72434, October 6, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
Tyrone is funny
A modern day Al Jolson
Mocking what he fears
Haiku # 72433, October 6, 2021 12:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you ever get tired of being that?
Haiku # 72432, October 6, 2021 12:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
At least I'm not a racist Christian
Haiku # 72431, October 6, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Shut yo wack-ass mouf.
William SHATNER... damn, homeboy.
Lame-ass shit u write.
Haiku # 72430, October 6, 2021 12:01 pm ET
by Tyrone of Institute of Advanced Haiku Studies
Extra syllables
Extra syllables sold here
For your haiku needs
Haiku # 72429, October 6, 2021 11:32 am ET
by Syllable Cut Rate of Corner of Willow and Summer Street
The first appearance of Gorn
Also, Starkitten
Haiku # 72428, October 6, 2021 11:28 am ET
by Noticer of Details
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Haiku # 72427, October 6, 2021 10:46 am ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
Bill Shatner, in, space.
This is, the, big news, today.
Will he, bang, a Gorn?
Haiku # 72425, October 6, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Click on employment. of Looking for fresh, sexy, young actors with lizard fetish, or William Shatner.
My homies is like:
Yo dog gimme dat haiku
We gone smoke dat shit.
Haiku # 72423, October 6, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Cuz We Roll Like Dat of West Side Haiku Kingz
Good morning cruel world.
Please accept this offering
Of useless haiku.

Serious business,
This crafting of bad haiku...
We ain't playin yo.
Haiku # 72422, October 6, 2021 6:23 am ET
by Tyrone tha Syllable Gangsta of Detroit Streetz
Picture him and Spock
Having relations "dog style"
Who is in the back?
Haiku # 72420, October 6, 2021 3:37 am ET
by Asstro of Jetson's yard
What if he drops dead?
Will they leave him up in Space?
Never liked Priceline
Haiku # 72419, October 6, 2021 3:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Space is coming to Shat inner.

Ten bucks says he pukes.
Or Shats himself; maybe both.
Pack some clean undies.
Haiku # 72418, October 6, 2021 3:30 am ET
by a;sldkfj
Tit Suffocation
Simulate sleep apnea
warm milk at bedtime
Haiku # 72417, October 6, 2021 3:27 am ET
by Giant Tit of Everything you wanted to know
It sure does work, sir
Ahhh. The smell of fresh cut farts.
You just butt dialed me
Haiku # 72416, October 6, 2021 3:24 am ET
by Hello of Is it me (can of Febreze) you're looking for?
I need a long nap.
With a mouthful of tiddies.
And a mug of beer.
Haiku # 72415, October 6, 2021 3:23 am ET
by That's all!
Shatner's going to outer space
Haiku # 72414, October 6, 2021 3:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just like a cell phone.
Built in expiration date.
I think I've passed mine.
Haiku # 72413, October 6, 2021 3:21 am ET
by My, but my butt still works. of Flatus testimonial.
Giveth us a break
Why you beateth us uppeth
when we are downeth?.
Haiku # 72412, October 6, 2021 3:18 am ET
by God is weird of Complainteth Boxeth
God must be Chinese.
See this universe he made?
It's falling apart!
Haiku # 72411, October 6, 2021 3:16 am ET
by The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics for example. of I mean, what the hell is that?!
Call them Transformers.
They will get soooo riled up.
"Triggered" they call it.

I'll identify
as a dog so I can poop
right on the sidewalk.
Haiku # 72410, October 6, 2021 3:11 am ET
by It's Fido!!!
The Lord giveth and
The Lord taketh away, but...
More taking lately.
Haiku # 72409, October 6, 2021 3:05 am ET
by This universe is such a piece of shit. of Can we take it to the Universal WalMart customer service and get an exchange or refund?
It would be sad if
William Shatner was a girl.
... "She shat 'n her pants!"
Haiku # 72408, October 6, 2021 3:02 am ET
by How did the get that name??? of SHATner. That's messed up.
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Haiku # 72407, October 6, 2021 2:49 am ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
play football for God
young Jesuit behemoths
mash you up real good
Haiku # 72406, October 6, 2021 1:15 am ET
by Touchdown Jesus of Notre Dame
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Haiku # 72405, October 5, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
William Shatner launch
I'm sure I'll feel right at home
shitting in my suit

One thing worries me
If my balls sag any lower
I'll trip over them

Beam me up Scotty!
I'll fuck alien hotties
wearing my potty
Haiku # 72404, October 5, 2021 10:29 pm ET
by Haute Manure of Pret a Port a Potty
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Haiku # 72403, October 5, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
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