Tit Suffocation
Simulate sleep apnea
warm milk at bedtime
by Giant Tit of Everything you wanted to know
It sure does work, sir
Ahhh. The smell of fresh cut farts.
You just butt dialed me
by Hello of Is it me (can of Febreze) you're looking for?
I need a long nap.
With a mouthful of tiddies.
And a mug of beer.
by That's all!
Shatner's going to outer space
by Anonymous Poet
Just like a cell phone.
Built in expiration date.
I think I've passed mine.
by My, but my butt still works. of Flatus testimonial.
Giveth us a break
Why you beateth us uppeth
when we are downeth?.
by God is weird of Complainteth Boxeth
God must be Chinese.
See this universe he made?
It's falling apart!
by The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics for example. of I mean, what the hell is that?!
Call them Transformers.
They will get soooo riled up.
"Triggered" they call it.
I'll identify
as a dog so I can poop
right on the sidewalk.
by It's Fido!!!
The Lord giveth and
The Lord taketh away, but...
More taking lately.
by This universe is such a piece of shit. of Can we take it to the Universal WalMart customer service and get an exchange or refund?
It would be sad if
William Shatner was a girl.
... "She shat 'n her pants!"
by How did the get that name??? of SHATner. That's messed up.
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by Jomwins of Cambodia
play football for God
young Jesuit behemoths
mash you up real good
by Touchdown Jesus of Notre Dame
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by Jomwins of Cambodia
William Shatner launch
I'm sure I'll feel right at home
shitting in my suit
One thing worries me
If my balls sag any lower
I'll trip over them
Beam me up Scotty!
I'll fuck alien hotties
wearing my potty
by Haute Manure of Pret a Port a Potty
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by Jomwins of Cambodia
Have we met before?
I've never seen Darth's penis
but I'd take a peek
by Sk
Some people think that
but we aren't the same poet.
I don't have a dink
by SK of PNW
Haiku time-travel:
I went way back and realized
Darth is Starkitten!
by He is Her Own Librarian
God bless AMAIRCA!
Greatest damned nation on earth,
Exporting Disney.
by And Transexual Insanity
Cabot white cheddar
I was raised on that stuff, dude
Extra sharp is best
by You have excellent taste
Okay, now I'm back.
There weren't many ants out there.
Those that were, suffered!
by Here the screams!
Sick of online crap.
Virtual anything's dumb.
I'll go torture ants.
by Where's my magnifying glass? of Because that's what God would do.
White cheddar's better.
Yellow for a dull fellow.
Buddha likes Gouda.
by Cheeses Rice of You ever have grits w/ cheese... it's yummy!
Are you kidding me?!
You don't believe in Jesus?!?!
What is WRONG with YOU?!?!?!!
by Time traveler from 1683. of Sent here by an evil witch.
There's this one sharp cheese...
Cabot! That's the name. Walmart.
That's some damn good cheese!
by Goes will with turkey. On whole wheat, toasted, with tomato and onion. And of course with a side of Fritos.
I'll read a book now.
Just because, you know, it's cool.
... "One fish, two fish." Nice!
by It reminds me of an old love affair. of With an ending that spiraled into something unexpected.
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by EdwardIllic of Ukraine
Have you ever put
gunpowder in an ashtray?
No smoking campaign.
by Extremists everywhere!
Baby bird's first flight.
Whoops! The tomcat ate him up.
Free for one minute.
by God Bless 'Merika!
The naked old man
Shouted and danced in the street.
People walked on by.
by True freedom!
Fart in someone's hair
Random act of flatulence
Fart and run like heck
by Noticer
Do you love cheeses?
Do you worship the flavors?
Eternal savors
by Vermont Cheddar of Better
Do you love Jesus?
If you give your heart to Him,
everlasting life!
by It keeps going and going and going... of Easter Energizer Bunny rechargeable power tools to make an easier job for carpenters like Jesus.
Here I sit,
broken hearted,
need an organ donor,
I'll try Cambodia.
Chicken hearts on skewer.
With BBQ sauce.
Don't say I have no heart.
I have many!
by BBQ turkey hearts would be effing awesome, I bet.
That was me, my bad.
An early Taco Tuesday.
You understand, right?
It's in your front yard
'cause I left you a present.
It's the thought that counts.
Speaking of the count,
do vampires use tampons
to keep from leaking?
by It's October... time for monsters and creatures of the night. No, not freaking Batman. He doesn't count.
Snuffleupagus.
If he's imaginary
who made this dung pile?
by Noticer of Big Turd
May have to check in
to the insane asylum
Fucking coyotes
by Not a fan of Living in the woods
How many good things can happen in one day?!
by I near pooted meself with joy!
So was George Lucas
creative or just greedy?
Let's ask Lord Vader.
The right formula.
The most cash for the least thought.
Drowned in plastic toys.
Seven billion bucks.
Not bad for a half-assed tale.
Wish I had a piece.
by I fought in the Clone Wars and all I got was this lousy light saber! of Retired clone commando.
All Pigeon Haiku!
pigeon pigeon pigeon (coo)
pigeon pigeon (poo)
by A. Pigeon of The Pigeon Cooperative
I break into song
Hello Darthness, my old friend
Nice to see you here
by again of Rhyming Catfunkle
Sleep paralysis
Someone check on Zuckerberg
(my first Facebook friend)
Did he unfriend me?
My obnoxious duck face pose?
All my cries for help
by Drinker of Kambitcha
Chickpeas and yogurt.
Washed down with kambucha tea.
Here comes the thunder!
by Oh those yeasty beaties. of Blast everlast.
So which is it?
Kambucha tea? Vinegar?
They taste just the same.
by I have the best microbiome!
Censors even here
just for mentioning the Jews
(and Jesus was one)
by ADL Keyword of Keychain
Separate servers.
You'd think they'd know the value.
I poo golden eggs.
by Goose me!
I'd poop on the run,
but my poop has a great smell.
They'd chase me faster.
by RosiePoo TwatWaffle
zuckerberg announced:
"facebook is shut down for good,
go to badhaiku"
by scotch of sell your stock!
facebook, instagram
servers are all down today
badhaiku? it's fine
by scotch of adjusting to the new look
god im so horny
i need cuddly soft tiddy
mommy save me
by horny of horny jail
