Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Haiku time-travel:
I went way back and realized
Darth is Starkitten!
Haiku # 72400, October 5, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by He is Her Own Librarian
God bless AMAIRCA!
Greatest damned nation on earth,
Exporting Disney.
Haiku # 72399, October 5, 2021 7:25 pm ET
by And Transexual Insanity
Cabot white cheddar
I was raised on that stuff, dude
Extra sharp is best
Haiku # 72398, October 5, 2021 7:08 pm ET
by You have excellent taste
Okay, now I'm back.
There weren't many ants out there.
Those that were, suffered!
Haiku # 72397, October 5, 2021 5:11 pm ET
by Here the screams!
Sick of online crap.
Virtual anything's dumb.
I'll go torture ants.
Haiku # 72396, October 5, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by Where's my magnifying glass? of Because that's what God would do.
White cheddar's better.
Yellow for a dull fellow.
Buddha likes Gouda.
Haiku # 72395, October 5, 2021 4:32 pm ET
by Cheeses Rice of You ever have grits w/ cheese... it's yummy!
Are you kidding me?!
You don't believe in Jesus?!?!
What is WRONG with YOU?!?!?!!
Haiku # 72394, October 5, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Time traveler from 1683. of Sent here by an evil witch.
There's this one sharp cheese...
Cabot! That's the name. Walmart.
That's some damn good cheese!
Haiku # 72393, October 5, 2021 4:12 pm ET
by Goes will with turkey. On whole wheat, toasted, with tomato and onion. And of course with a side of Fritos.
I'll read a book now.
Just because, you know, it's cool.
... "One fish, two fish." Nice!
Haiku # 72392, October 5, 2021 4:10 pm ET
by It reminds me of an old love affair. of With an ending that spiraled into something unexpected.
Новостник
Переходите:
https://pohudelka.com.ua/vpliv-sushi-na-potentsiyu-cholovika/
Haiku # 72391, October 5, 2021 4:08 pm ET
by EdwardIllic of Ukraine
Have you ever put
gunpowder in an ashtray?
No smoking campaign.
Haiku # 72390, October 5, 2021 4:07 pm ET
by Extremists everywhere!
Baby bird's first flight.
Whoops! The tomcat ate him up.
Free for one minute.
Haiku # 72389, October 5, 2021 4:03 pm ET
by God Bless 'Merika!
The naked old man
Shouted and danced in the street.
People walked on by.
Haiku # 72388, October 5, 2021 4:01 pm ET
by True freedom!
Fart in someone's hair
Random act of flatulence
Fart and run like heck
Haiku # 72386, October 5, 2021 2:01 pm ET
by Noticer
Do you love cheeses?
Do you worship the flavors?
Eternal savors
Haiku # 72385, October 5, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by Vermont Cheddar of Better
Do you love Jesus?
If you give your heart to Him,
everlasting life!
Haiku # 72384, October 5, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by It keeps going and going and going... of Easter Energizer Bunny rechargeable power tools to make an easier job for carpenters like Jesus.
Here I sit,
broken hearted,
need an organ donor,
I'll try Cambodia.
Chicken hearts on skewer.
With BBQ sauce.
Don't say I have no heart.
I have many!
Haiku # 72383, October 5, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by BBQ turkey hearts would be effing awesome, I bet.
That was me, my bad.
An early Taco Tuesday.
You understand, right?

It's in your front yard
'cause I left you a present.
It's the thought that counts.

Speaking of the count,
do vampires use tampons
to keep from leaking?
Haiku # 72382, October 5, 2021 10:19 am ET
by It's October... time for monsters and creatures of the night. No, not freaking Batman. He doesn't count.
Snuffleupagus.
If he's imaginary
who made this dung pile?
Haiku # 72381, October 5, 2021 1:53 am ET
by Noticer of Big Turd
May have to check in
to the insane asylum
Fucking coyotes
Haiku # 72380, October 5, 2021 1:34 am ET
by Not a fan of Living in the woods
How many good things can happen in one day?!
Haiku # 72379, October 5, 2021 1:24 am ET
by I near pooted meself with joy!
So was George Lucas
creative or just greedy?
Let's ask Lord Vader.

The right formula.
The most cash for the least thought.
Drowned in plastic toys.

Seven billion bucks.
Not bad for a half-assed tale.
Wish I had a piece.
Haiku # 72378, October 4, 2021 11:50 pm ET
by I fought in the Clone Wars and all I got was this lousy light saber! of Retired clone commando.
All Pigeon Haiku!
pigeon pigeon pigeon (coo)
pigeon pigeon (poo)
Haiku # 72376, October 4, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by A. Pigeon of The Pigeon Cooperative
I break into song
Hello Darthness, my old friend
Nice to see you here
Haiku # 72373, October 4, 2021 5:13 pm ET
by again of Rhyming Catfunkle
Sleep paralysis
Someone check on Zuckerberg
(my first Facebook friend)

Did he unfriend me?
My obnoxious duck face pose?
All my cries for help
Haiku # 72372, October 4, 2021 5:08 pm ET
by Drinker of Kambitcha
Chickpeas and yogurt.
Washed down with kambucha tea.
Here comes the thunder!
Haiku # 72370, October 4, 2021 4:27 pm ET
by Oh those yeasty beaties. of Blast everlast.
So which is it?
Kambucha tea? Vinegar?
They taste just the same.
Haiku # 72369, October 4, 2021 4:24 pm ET
by I have the best microbiome!
Censors even here
just for mentioning the Jews
(and Jesus was one)
Haiku # 72368, October 4, 2021 4:05 pm ET
by ADL Keyword of Keychain
Separate servers.
You'd think they'd know the value.
I poo golden eggs.
Haiku # 72367, October 4, 2021 3:56 pm ET
by Goose me!
I'd poop on the run,
but my poop has a great smell.
They'd chase me faster.
Haiku # 72366, October 4, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by RosiePoo TwatWaffle
zuckerberg announced:
"facebook is shut down for good,
go to badhaiku"
Haiku # 72365, October 4, 2021 3:28 pm ET
by scotch of sell your stock!
facebook, instagram
servers are all down today
badhaiku? it's fine
Haiku # 72364, October 4, 2021 3:23 pm ET
by scotch of adjusting to the new look
god im so horny
i need cuddly soft tiddy
mommy save me
Haiku # 72363, October 4, 2021 2:24 pm ET
by horny of horny jail
Ward off predators
Perhaps the ones who stand still
have smellier shit
Haiku # 72362, October 4, 2021 2:13 pm ET
by Always Learning of Gotta Run
Animal crossing
Some will poop while they run
Others will stand still

How many humans
shit on the run? Do you know?
All in the timing
Haiku # 72361, October 4, 2021 2:04 pm ET
by World of Scat
Internet outage.
OMG, we'll all soon die!
Be living in caves!
Haiku # 72359, October 4, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by Fucking Chinese hackers, I bet. of Maybe the Ruskies! Kill 'em all !!!!... or something.
One pound of cheese please.
And I'll do... seven haiku.
And a tall latte.

Make that iced latte.
Low fat with simple sugar.
And whipped cream on top.
Haiku # 72358, October 4, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by Would you like fries with that? of Keep the change.
I'm squatting right now
I'll be out in a minute
No toilet paper!?
Haiku # 72357, October 4, 2021 12:09 pm ET
by Victim of a cheapskate
Eight bucks for coffee
You'd think a mathematician
wouldn't fall for that

I'm selling haiku
Just fifty dollars for you
I'll throw in some cheese
Haiku # 72356, October 4, 2021 11:25 am ET
by Accepts payment of PayPal
Franconia Notch
White Mountains of New Hampshire
That old man fell off
Haiku # 72355, October 4, 2021 11:21 am ET
by Memories of Growing up
Old man of mountain
Mist upon the distant hills
Now where's my damn phone?
Haiku # 72354, October 4, 2021 10:45 am ET
by Data Plan of Tang Dynasty
What kind of sandwich?
I'd have a roasted turkey
with lacy Swiss cheese
Haiku # 72353, October 4, 2021 10:06 am ET
by salt/cracked pepper, Hellman's mayonnaise, green leaf lettuce of raw red onion slices and avocado on the side.
Eight dollar coffee.
Twenty dollar sandwich. Whore.
Haikuized 4 U.
Haiku # 72352, October 4, 2021 9:20 am ET
by Instant Haiku Machine
Time for another $8 coffee and a $20 sandwich and not enough left to buy toilet paper but that's okay b/c I've been taking diet lessons from the old man with fragrant and flowery poo in the hopes that I can sell it and make some of that yuppie coffee shop money back and even have some left over for those nasty street hookers that are way hotter than the girls back home anyway, and probably cleaner.
Haiku # 72350, October 4, 2021 8:12 am ET
by There should be a single word that describes all that.
I won't do triplets.
Genetic diversity
is quite important.
Haiku # 72349, October 4, 2021 8:08 am ET
by Picky Perv
Did you ever squat?
I mean inhabit a house
that's been abandoned?

Squatters are awesome.
They never have to pay rent.
And have all the rights!
Haiku # 72348, October 4, 2021 8:06 am ET
by I want to be a squatter when I grow up!
He doesn't use leaves.
In fact, he has never wiped.
He doesn't need to.

His shit doesn't stink.
It kind of smells like roses.
Or air freshener.
Haiku # 72347, October 4, 2021 8:03 am ET
by Mix it with ambergris for a nice perfume. of Whale puke and and vagabond shit. Who'd 'a thunk it?!
Snap out of it, man!
You've been staring at land
for who knows how long

They tried smelling salts
Hot triplets jerking him off
But he kept staring

Until the one day
Mudslides destroyed the village
The mud smelled funny

Because it was shit
The old man smiled and waved
Wiped his bum with leaves
Haiku # 72345, October 4, 2021 2:59 am ET
by Mysteries of Haiku
Meet Oscar Mayer
His face made from bologna
Lunchable in pants
Haiku # 72344, October 4, 2021 2:11 am ET
by Greet of Meat
Walking on water
Repairing busted sandals
Healing dead people
Haiku # 72343, October 4, 2021 2:08 am ET
by Jesus Christ of Stopping by to brag (Doesn't count as second coming)
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