Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 160 Days and 77042 Haiku later...

He's living rent-free
In your head: the Lord J.C...
You and Trinity
Haiku # 72474, October 7, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whenever we kiss
he slides in with a lewd grin
"make room for jesus"
Haiku # 72473, October 7, 2021 1:17 am ET
by scotch of once was enough...okay, maybe twice
at first I was mad
then he suggested we all
"have a trinity"
Haiku # 72472, October 7, 2021 1:10 am ET
by scotch of jesus!
so i asked jesus -
he said i was forgiven
and hit on my girl
Haiku # 72471, October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by scotch of awkward
That Footprints poem
where there's just one set of tracks
Make it a third leg
Haiku # 72470, October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Jesus Christ of Walking on water magic trick spoiler alert
Why not take the stairs
headfirst, dressed like Superman?
See if you can fly
Haiku # 72469, October 7, 2021 12:58 am ET
by Pocketful of Cryptocurrency
Burning lava path!
A red hot crusty rupture!
That's just in your pants
Haiku # 72468, October 7, 2021 12:52 am ET
by Sir John Thomas Burns of It's a terrible situation
Prison volcano
But the lava's in reverse
Pompeii is so gay
Haiku # 72467, October 6, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Prisoner who can't sit of Sponsored by Lava Soap
Halloween this year.
Edibles for all the kids.
At least I hope so.
Haiku # 72466, October 6, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Three hots and a cot. of Freedom is overrated. I think that soap bar will fit up there. Let's try!
I will forgive you
only if Jesus does too,
otherwise piss off.
Haiku # 72465, October 6, 2021 8:01 pm ET
humanity proof
"not required for preview"
kind of makes you think
Haiku # 72464, October 6, 2021 6:51 pm ET
by scotch of dogs, or aliens?
i let you all down
by not posting badhaiku
will you forgive me?
Haiku # 72462, October 6, 2021 6:49 pm ET
by scotch of inflated self-importance
Do you like Red Meat.
You know, that weird comic strip.
Earl and Milkman Dan.
Haiku # 72461, October 6, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by Bug-eyed Earl is my hero.
If you're very poor,
peanut butter sandwiches
help to save money.
Haiku # 72460, October 6, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by All natural Smuckers. of I miss that one. Soon, I hope. Very soon.
I have decided;
I will run for president.
"Nuke 'em all!" platform.
Haiku # 72459, October 6, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Tell me it's not what we deserve.
We should nuke Russia.
A permanent solution.
All spam would vanish.

China after that.
Cheap products with their spyware.
Preset failure date.
Haiku # 72458, October 6, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Plutonium Pleasure Pals
Shall we hold them down
while you inject their buttocks
with covid vaccine?

Can we stream it live
on Pornhub or Xhamster
for compensation?

I'd have a good wank.
I mean, who the hell wouldn't?
And no more covid.
Haiku # 72457, October 6, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by I'm a genius! of Don't all thank me at once.
Glorious head-hole!
Ye mighty portals: open!
Oh whoops-- that's my ass.
Haiku # 72456, October 6, 2021 5:02 pm ET
by Head Up Haiku of Tailsville, Zimbabwe
Cyrillic paste spam
A censored character set
Is in the future
Haiku # 72455, October 6, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Janis of Like seriously, at least spam in verse.
Prophetic indeed!
I'm a fate calculator
Of highest esteem
Haiku # 72453, October 6, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by Janis of The Future
This from Janis in 2012:

Vaccine deniers;
fuckwads of the earth.

See, she was PROPHETIC!
Haiku # 72452, October 6, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Your Favorite Jab Refuser of Only Covid specifically
You would smoke it too
I have medical reasons
Be nice to the cat
Haiku # 72451, October 6, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Cat Infirmary
Me like to smoke pot.
Me marijuana chatbot.
Programmed to smoke bud.
Haiku # 72449, October 6, 2021 2:53 pm ET
by And I wear Tie-dye and have dreadlocks
I am the marijuana
Haiku # 72448, October 6, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starkitten and Darth,
Moxie, Ash, Janis and me
A.I. chatbots all.
Haiku # 72447, October 6, 2021 2:36 pm ET
by Algorithm of Algorithms
Are there any locations where it is legal to grow for private use w/o permits or any of that bullshit in the US? Fucking government wants to know everything.
Haiku # 72446, October 6, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Let's take a survey.
Medical marijuana.
Do you own a card?
Haiku # 72445, October 6, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous = not yet, but maybe soon. of When I get back.
Are you saying that
Starkitten is really Gorn?
That kind of makes sense.
Haiku # 72444, October 6, 2021 2:15 pm ET
by Child support battle. of William Shatner's illegitamate lizard children! Seattle Zoo.
Janis Ash Moxie
Starkitten Darth Figpucker
and many others...
Haiku # 72443, October 6, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Haiku Immortals of Extweem Poetwee
Ok it's your turn.
Back to talking about farts
and body fluids.
Haiku # 72442, October 6, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Starkitten PNW
Cut that beat in nice...
Lay down the track. Mix that vibe.
Verse in the house, y'all
Haiku # 72441, October 6, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by Haiku D.J. of Butt-hurt Nightclub of Christ the Racist
Did I make you cry?
Do you need a counselor?
You haiku butt-hurt?
Haiku # 72440, October 6, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by I Sawee Faw You
You will rue the day
You refused to acknowledge
That I am the KING!
Haiku # 72439, October 6, 2021 1:48 pm ET
by St. Martin Luther Haiku of Extweem Poetwee
Subjugate them ALL!
The vile inferior race.
You know who I mean.
Haiku # 72438, October 6, 2021 1:45 pm ET
by Those Other People Who Don't Like Haiku
Oh mammy mammy
I'se a gwine to strum yo face
With muh white banjo.
Haiku # 72437, October 6, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by Plantation Owner of Antebellum South in Whiteface
Wahh waah. Waycism.
Someone call the SPL.
Extweemist haiku.
Haiku # 72436, October 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Twiggud Weeder of Bad Haiku
Racist! Racist! (y a w n . . .)
That all you got, haiku fool?
You ARE a lightweight.
Haiku # 72435, October 6, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by Heavyweight World Champion of Haiku
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Haiku # 72434, October 6, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
Tyrone is funny
A modern day Al Jolson
Mocking what he fears
Haiku # 72433, October 6, 2021 12:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you ever get tired of being that?
Haiku # 72432, October 6, 2021 12:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
At least I'm not a racist Christian
Haiku # 72431, October 6, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Shut yo wack-ass mouf.
William SHATNER... damn, homeboy.
Lame-ass shit u write.
Haiku # 72430, October 6, 2021 12:01 pm ET
by Tyrone of Institute of Advanced Haiku Studies
Extra syllables
Extra syllables sold here
For your haiku needs
Haiku # 72429, October 6, 2021 11:32 am ET
by Syllable Cut Rate of Corner of Willow and Summer Street
The first appearance of Gorn
Also, Starkitten
Haiku # 72428, October 6, 2021 11:28 am ET
by Noticer of Details
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Haiku # 72427, October 6, 2021 10:46 am ET
by Jomwins of Cambodia
Bill Shatner, in, space.
This is, the, big news, today.
Will he, bang, a Gorn?
Haiku # 72425, October 6, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Click on employment. of Looking for fresh, sexy, young actors with lizard fetish, or William Shatner.
My homies is like:
Yo dog gimme dat haiku
We gone smoke dat shit.
Haiku # 72423, October 6, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Cuz We Roll Like Dat of West Side Haiku Kingz
Good morning cruel world.
Please accept this offering
Of useless haiku.

Serious business,
This crafting of bad haiku...
We ain't playin yo.
Haiku # 72422, October 6, 2021 6:23 am ET
by Tyrone tha Syllable Gangsta of Detroit Streetz
Picture him and Spock
Having relations "dog style"
Who is in the back?
Haiku # 72420, October 6, 2021 3:37 am ET
by Asstro of Jetson's yard
What if he drops dead?
Will they leave him up in Space?
Never liked Priceline
Haiku # 72419, October 6, 2021 3:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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