humanity proof
"not required for preview"
kind of makes you think
by scotch of dogs, or aliens? 
 
			
i let you all down
by not posting badhaiku
will you forgive me?
by scotch of inflated self-importance  
 
			
Do you like Red Meat.
You know, that weird comic strip.
Earl and Milkman Dan.
by Bug-eyed Earl is my hero.
 
			
If you're very poor,
peanut butter sandwiches
help to save money.
by All natural Smuckers. of I miss that one.  Soon, I hope.  Very soon. 
 
			
I have decided;
I will run for president.
"Nuke 'em all!" platform.
by Tell me it's not what we deserve.
 
			
We should nuke Russia.
A permanent solution.
All spam would vanish.
China after that.
Cheap products with their spyware.
Preset failure date.
by Plutonium Pleasure Pals
 
			
Shall we hold them down
while you inject their buttocks
with covid vaccine?
Can we stream it live
on Pornhub or Xhamster
for compensation?
I'd have a good wank.
I mean, who the hell wouldn't?
And no more covid.
by I'm a genius! of Don't all thank me at once. 
 
			
Glorious head-hole!
Ye mighty portals: open!
Oh whoops-- that's my ass.
by Head Up Haiku of Tailsville, Zimbabwe 
 
			
Cyrillic paste spam
A censored character set
Is in the future
by Janis of Like seriously, at least spam in verse. 
 
			
			
This from Janis in 2012:
Vaccine deniers;
Epidemiological
fuckwads of the earth.
See, she was PROPHETIC!
by Your Favorite Jab Refuser of Only Covid specifically 
 
			
You would smoke it too
I have medical reasons
Be nice to the cat
by Starkitten of Cat Infirmary 
 
			
Me like to smoke pot.
Me marijuana chatbot.
Programmed to smoke bud.
by And I wear Tie-dye and have dreadlocks
 
			
I am the marijuana
by Starkitten
 
			
Starkitten and Darth,
Moxie, Ash, Janis and me
A.I. chatbots all.
by Algorithm  of Algorithms 
 
			
Are there any locations where it is legal to grow for private use w/o permits or any of that bullshit in the US?  Fucking government wants to know everything.
by Know what I mean.
 
			
Let's take a survey.
Medical marijuana.
Do you own a card?
by Darth Whorendous = not yet, but maybe soon. of When I get back. 
 
			
Are you saying that
Starkitten is really Gorn?
That kind of makes sense.
by Child support battle. of William Shatner's illegitamate lizard children! Seattle Zoo. 
 
			
Janis Ash Moxie
Starkitten Darth Figpucker
and many others...
by Haiku Immortals of Extweem Poetwee 
 
			
Ok it's your turn.
Back to talking about farts
and body fluids.
by Darth Figpucker of Starkitten PNW 
 
			
Cut that beat in nice...
Lay down the track. Mix that vibe.
Verse in the house, y'all
by Haiku D.J. of Butt-hurt Nightclub of Christ the Racist 
 
			
Did I make you cry?
Do you need a counselor?
You haiku butt-hurt?
by I Sawee Faw You
 
			
You will rue the day
You refused to acknowledge
That I am the KING!
by St. Martin Luther Haiku of Extweem Poetwee 
 
			
Subjugate them ALL!
The vile inferior race.
You know who I mean.
by Those Other People Who Don't Like Haiku
 
			
Oh mammy mammy
I'se a gwine to strum yo face
With muh white banjo.
by Plantation Owner  of Antebellum South in Whiteface 
 
			
Wahh waah. Waycism.
Someone call the SPL.
Extweemist haiku.
by Twiggud Weeder of Bad Haiku 
 
			
Racist! Racist! (y a w n . . .)
That all you got, haiku fool?
You ARE a lightweight.
by Heavyweight World Champion  of Haiku  
 
			
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by Jomwins of Cambodia 
 
			
Tyrone is funny
A modern day Al Jolson 
Mocking what he fears
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Do you ever get tired of being that?
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
At least I'm not a racist Christian
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Shut yo wack-ass mouf.
William SHATNER... damn, homeboy.
Lame-ass shit u write.
by Tyrone  of Institute of Advanced Haiku Studies 
 
			
Extra syllables
Extra syllables sold here
For your haiku needs
by Syllable Cut Rate of Corner of Willow and Summer Street 
 
			
1967
The first appearance of Gorn
Also, Starkitten
by Noticer of Details 
 
			
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by Jomwins of Cambodia 
 
			
Bill Shatner, in, space.
This is, the, big news, today.
Will he, bang, a Gorn?
by Gornbangers.com. Click on employment. of Looking for fresh, sexy, young actors with lizard fetish, or William Shatner. 
 
			
My homies is like:
Yo dog gimme dat haiku
We gone smoke dat shit.
by Cuz We Roll Like Dat of West Side Haiku Kingz 
 
			
Good morning cruel world.
Please accept this offering
Of useless haiku.
Serious business,
This crafting of bad haiku...
We ain't playin yo.
by Tyrone tha Syllable Gangsta of Detroit Streetz  
 
			
Picture him and Spock
Having relations "dog style"
Who is in the back?
by Asstro of Jetson's yard 
 
			
What if he drops dead?
Will they leave him up in Space?
Never liked Priceline
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Space is coming to Shat inner.
Ten bucks says he pukes.
Or Shats himself; maybe both.
Pack some clean undies.
by a;sldkfj
 
			
Tit Suffocation
Simulate sleep apnea
warm milk at bedtime
by Giant Tit of Everything you wanted to know 
 
			
It sure does work, sir
Ahhh. The smell of fresh cut farts.
You just butt dialed me
by Hello of Is it me (can of Febreze) you're looking for? 
 
			
I need a long nap.
With a mouthful of tiddies.
And a mug of beer.
by That's all!
 
			
Shatner's going to outer space
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Just like a cell phone.
Built in expiration date.
I think I've passed mine.
by My, but my butt still works. of Flatus testimonial. 
 
			
Giveth us a break
Why you beateth us uppeth
when we are downeth?.
by God is weird of Complainteth Boxeth 
 
			
God must be Chinese.
See this universe he made?
It's falling apart!
by The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics for example. of I mean, what the hell is that?! 
 
			
Call them Transformers.
They will get soooo riled up.
"Triggered" they call it.
I'll identify
as a dog so I can poop
right on the sidewalk.
by It's Fido!!!
 
			
The Lord giveth and
The Lord taketh away, but...
More taking lately.
by This universe is such a piece of shit. of Can we take it to the Universal WalMart customer service and get an exchange or refund?