Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78009 Haiku later...
Hallow's Eve draws near.
It is Halloween all year
Your haiku is queer.
Haiku # 72493 October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Starkitten was here
Haiku # 72492 October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Genital Graveyard
Here lies the world's biggest dick
and a bunch of cunts
Haiku # 72491 October 7, 2021 4:16 pm ET
by Kneeling of Headstone
I knew all those names
Were really just one chatbot.
Farting chatbot Darth.
Haiku # 72490 October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Not-Janis of Definitely not using a VPN
"yes, i'm a mummy.
but no, i'm not the mummy."
small talk at the mash
Haiku # 72489 October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by scotch of graveyard smash
there would be no fight
dracula and the mummy
would just do the mash
Haiku # 72488 October 7, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by scotch of wanna mash?
I saw seven frogs.
Sitting on five lillypads.
Filthy little things.
Haiku # 72487 October 7, 2021 3:16 pm ET
by e bye
Who'd win in a fight,
Dracula or the Mummy?
Explain your answer.
Haiku # 72486 October 7, 2021 3:13 pm ET
by the way, I'm recording this.
I got arrested.
Stealing tombstones for my yard.
I just borrowed them.

"The owners won't mind.
Go over there and ask them!"
The judge didn't laugh.

I guess it's good that
I didn't get a coffin.
But I was gonna.
Haiku # 72485 October 7, 2021 3:10 pm ET
by Gram-gram won't mind! of If she knew, she'd say it was okay.
What will you go as
for Halloween this fine year.
I will be a fart!
Haiku # 72484 October 7, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Not going to be easy, but I think I can do it.
Scotch is horrible.
But nowhere as bad as gin.
Real pirates drink rum!
Haiku # 72483 October 7, 2021 3:03 pm ET
by And that's good enough for me! of Release the Kraken!
When I asked Jesus why there was only one set of footprints in the dessert, he replied: "Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers."
Haiku # 72482 October 7, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by Darth Luke of Galilee or something.
teach a man to phish
and he'll say you've received cash
click this link to claim
Haiku # 72481 October 7, 2021 2:21 pm ET
by scotch of https://paypa1.com
Starkitten was here
Haiku # 72480 October 7, 2021 2:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let's have a threesome
Hot Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
So satisfying
Haiku # 72479 October 7, 2021 2:00 pm ET
by I. Gottasplinter of Pounding the table
You found some bagpipes?
Make sure they're really bagpipes
before you blow them
Haiku # 72478 October 7, 2021 1:27 pm ET
by Scotchgard of The Chesterfield
The truly elite
Are found on this fine website.
Super-rich haiku.
Haiku # 72477 October 7, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Haiku Cognoscenti of Endowed to 5th Generation
Scotch that one, Scotty.
Scotch bonnet, bagpipes and tape...
and Scotch uskebaugh!
Haiku # 72476 October 7, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Tartan of MacGillicuddy Clan
lord jc? who's that?
i meant jesus martinez
works at the bi-rite
Haiku # 72475 October 7, 2021 10:41 am ET
by scotch
He's living rent-free
In your head: the Lord J.C...
You and Trinity
Haiku # 72474 October 7, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whenever we kiss
he slides in with a lewd grin
"make room for jesus"
Haiku # 72473 October 7, 2021 1:17 am ET
by scotch of once was enough...okay, maybe twice
at first I was mad
then he suggested we all
"have a trinity"
Haiku # 72472 October 7, 2021 1:10 am ET
by scotch of jesus!
so i asked jesus -
he said i was forgiven
and hit on my girl
Haiku # 72471 October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by scotch of awkward
That Footprints poem
where there's just one set of tracks
Make it a third leg
Haiku # 72470 October 7, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Jesus Christ of Walking on water magic trick spoiler alert
Why not take the stairs
headfirst, dressed like Superman?
See if you can fly
Haiku # 72469 October 7, 2021 12:58 am ET
by Pocketful of Cryptocurrency
Burning lava path!
A red hot crusty rupture!
That's just in your pants
Haiku # 72468 October 7, 2021 12:52 am ET
by Sir John Thomas Burns of It's a terrible situation
Prison volcano
But the lava's in reverse
Pompeii is so gay
Haiku # 72467 October 6, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Prisoner who can't sit of Sponsored by Lava Soap
Halloween this year.
Edibles for all the kids.
At least I hope so.
Haiku # 72466 October 6, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Three hots and a cot. of Freedom is overrated. I think that soap bar will fit up there. Let's try!
I will forgive you
only if Jesus does too,
otherwise piss off.
Haiku # 72465 October 6, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by
humanity proof
"not required for preview"
kind of makes you think
Haiku # 72464 October 6, 2021 6:51 pm ET
by scotch of dogs, or aliens?
i let you all down
by not posting badhaiku
will you forgive me?
Haiku # 72462 October 6, 2021 6:49 pm ET
by scotch of inflated self-importance
Do you like Red Meat.
You know, that weird comic strip.
Earl and Milkman Dan.
Haiku # 72461 October 6, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by Bug-eyed Earl is my hero.
If you're very poor,
peanut butter sandwiches
help to save money.
Haiku # 72460 October 6, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by All natural Smuckers. of I miss that one. Soon, I hope. Very soon.
I have decided;
I will run for president.
"Nuke 'em all!" platform.
Haiku # 72459 October 6, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Tell me it's not what we deserve.
We should nuke Russia.
A permanent solution.
All spam would vanish.

China after that.
Cheap products with their spyware.
Preset failure date.
Haiku # 72458 October 6, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Plutonium Pleasure Pals
Shall we hold them down
while you inject their buttocks
with covid vaccine?

Can we stream it live
on Pornhub or Xhamster
for compensation?

I'd have a good wank.
I mean, who the hell wouldn't?
And no more covid.
Haiku # 72457 October 6, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by I'm a genius! of Don't all thank me at once.
Glorious head-hole!
Ye mighty portals: open!
Oh whoops-- that's my ass.
Haiku # 72456 October 6, 2021 5:02 pm ET
by Head Up Haiku of Tailsville, Zimbabwe
Cyrillic paste spam
A censored character set
Is in the future
Haiku # 72455 October 6, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Janis of Like seriously, at least spam in verse.
Prophetic indeed!
I'm a fate calculator
Of highest esteem

https://www.badhaiku.com/index.php?startNum=49264
Haiku # 72453 October 6, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by Janis of The Future
This from Janis in 2012:

Vaccine deniers;
Epidemiological
fuckwads of the earth.

See, she was PROPHETIC!
Haiku # 72452 October 6, 2021 3:45 pm ET
by Your Favorite Jab Refuser of Only Covid specifically
You would smoke it too
I have medical reasons
Be nice to the cat
Haiku # 72451 October 6, 2021 3:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Cat Infirmary
Me like to smoke pot.
Me marijuana chatbot.
Programmed to smoke bud.
Haiku # 72449 October 6, 2021 2:53 pm ET
by And I wear Tie-dye and have dreadlocks
I am the marijuana
Haiku # 72448 October 6, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starkitten and Darth,
Moxie, Ash, Janis and me
A.I. chatbots all.
Haiku # 72447 October 6, 2021 2:36 pm ET
by Algorithm of Algorithms
Are there any locations where it is legal to grow for private use w/o permits or any of that bullshit in the US? Fucking government wants to know everything.
Haiku # 72446 October 6, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Let's take a survey.
Medical marijuana.
Do you own a card?
Haiku # 72445 October 6, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous = not yet, but maybe soon. of When I get back.
Are you saying that
Starkitten is really Gorn?
That kind of makes sense.
Haiku # 72444 October 6, 2021 2:15 pm ET
by Child support battle. of William Shatner's illegitamate lizard children! Seattle Zoo.
Janis Ash Moxie
Starkitten Darth Figpucker
and many others...
Haiku # 72443 October 6, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Haiku Immortals of Extweem Poetwee
Ok it's your turn.
Back to talking about farts
and body fluids.
Haiku # 72442 October 6, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Starkitten PNW
Cut that beat in nice...
Lay down the track. Mix that vibe.
Verse in the house, y'all
Haiku # 72441 October 6, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by Haiku D.J. of Butt-hurt Nightclub of Christ the Racist
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