Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

I know you're real busy
fucking a giant sea snail
but write some haiku!
Haiku # 72532, October 9, 2021 6:11 pm ET
by Looking for Mr. Figbar
My work's at the Louvre
An abstract study in brown
Oops, I meant the Loo
Haiku # 72531, October 9, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by Won't you come on up and see my etchings of fun sized penises?
water colors made me burp.
Haiku # 72530, October 9, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
acrylic made me laugh
Haiku # 72529, October 9, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Noticer
Saturnalia much?
So you mean you are Saturn...
and not Uranus?
Haiku # 72528, October 8, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Christ was born in February of Ask a Rabbi
December two five
Mark it on your calendar
My fucking birthday
Haiku # 72527, October 8, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Jesus
Fuck scotch in its ass!
Rum -- the original grog!
Scotch is golfers piss.
Haiku # 72526, October 8, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Release the Kraken! of And Coke and ice.
Listen to Clara!
That's Clara the samba queen.
The hell wrong with you?
Haiku # 72525, October 8, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Orixa of Yemanjaa
"kick the ball, fucker"
- dad at my kid's soccer game
(oh, his kid's "Tucker")
Haiku # 72524, October 8, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by scotch of shouldn't have cursed him out
Is it time to die?
Barbeque potato chips.
See all that science.

WalMart Rascal ride.
Because it's free and I can.
The think something's wrong.

See the ugliness.
I sense that war is coming.
Is it time to die?
Haiku # 72523, October 8, 2021 2:58 pm ET
by Puddin' and Tang
We certainly need
Acrylic letter blockage.
Keep commies away.
Haiku # 72522, October 8, 2021 2:50 pm ET
by spelling was never my strong suit.
https://graph.org/kursovye-raboty-na-zakaz-nedorogo-09-29-11 написание дипломных


ПОБЕЖДАЕМ ЗАЧЕТЫ, СЕССИЮ И ТРУДНЫЕ ПРЕДМЕТЫ
Помощь в выполнении курсовых, дипломных контрольных и многих других работ

Оставь заявку — остальное сделаем мы

- Строго соблюдаем требования методички, знаем все ГОСТы и нормы АНТИПЛАГИАТА
- Все работы проходят проверку качества перед отправкой клиенту, вы гарантировано получите отличный материал
- Ваши деньги в безопасности. В случае несоответствующего выполнения работы мы вернем вам деньги
https://graph.org/diplomnye-raboty-na-zakaz-nedorogo-09-29-4 решение контрольных


@tele
Haiku # 72521, October 8, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Radjukevichges of Russia
Friday: just drink scotch.
You will reach your objectives
and think more clearly.
Haiku # 72520, October 8, 2021 1:46 pm ET
by Hoot Mon of Glasgow
death to all haiku
fuck this syllable counting
i'm out of coffee
Haiku # 72519, October 8, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by scotch of just another manic friday
Negrification.
That's the word that got me blocked,
But it's a real word!
Haiku # 72518, October 8, 2021 11:34 am ET
by Aimé Cesaire of Negritude
My name is your name
And I'm a Claraholic
On a float in Rio
Haiku # 72517, October 8, 2021 11:25 am ET
by Cuica of Rica
Obrigado
Haiku # 72516, October 8, 2021 10:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
How we celebrate
Canadian Thanksgiving
Deep fried Kraft Dinner
Haiku # 72515, October 8, 2021 8:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Looks like someone's been
off their anti-trolling meds.
You better comply.

They'll put you back in.
The Old Troll Home/Asylum.
You don't want that, right?
Haiku # 72514, October 8, 2021 8:40 am ET
by Maybe up the dosage too!
My muse taught Clara
Everything single thing she knows
about life and art.
Haiku # 72513, October 8, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Guica of Linguica
That Clara Nunes...
She's my Portuguese teacher.
Endless Carnival.

https://youtu.be/HZqQjKfKk64
Haiku # 72512, October 8, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Guica of Rio de J
That Clara Nunes...
She's my Portuguese teacher.
Endless Carnival.

https://youtu.be/HZqQjKfKk64
Haiku # 72511, October 8, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Guica of Rio de J
My name's Starkitten
and I'm a darthaholic
(passed out in gutter)
Haiku # 72510, October 8, 2021 1:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
one fart, ha ha ha!
two farts, ha ha ha! three, four
counting is a gas
Haiku # 72509, October 7, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by scotch of open sesame
Sometimes I count farts.
Do it through slowed audio.
Hear each vibration.
Haiku # 72508, October 7, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by "Boring" is a word for prostitute. Ha ha ha!
Just figured it out
Why Darth loves Haiku so much
Syllable Counting
Haiku # 72507, October 7, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by High Motility of Syllable Count
Mayan tendencies:
Get off with a stingray spine.
Stick it somewhere new.
Haiku # 72506, October 7, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Ucha'an K'an B'alam of Bleed for Me
The boring penis
Boring a hole through your back
Spina Darthada
Haiku # 72505, October 7, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Please of Don't Find a Cure
Oh pathetic Darth.
You BORE me for goodness' sake...
Too much sex and shit.
Haiku # 72504, October 7, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Yuchhhh of Shower After Reading
I let an earth worm
crawl up inside my weeny.
It's a cummy worm!
Haiku # 72503, October 7, 2021 6:29 pm ET
by har har har
Poisoning children.
What's your favorite method?
Try nuclear waste!

It's going to be
a fantastic Halloween.
LSD's passe.
Haiku # 72502, October 7, 2021 6:27 pm ET
by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoned_candy_myths of Not one case ever reported! You can be the first to try! Go down in infamy!
If you bang weenies,
more than candy will fly out.
Marshmallow topping!
Haiku # 72501, October 7, 2021 6:23 pm ET
by Have you ever seen a mallow in a marsh? Have you? of I didn't think so!
Your weenie's hollow?
Use it for a Peeñata
Bang hard with a stick
Haiku # 72500, October 7, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Blindfolded of Banging
Slutty cat costumes
won't arouse hollow weenies.
Viagra candy!
Haiku # 72499, October 7, 2021 5:05 pm ET
by Her tricks come with treats. of You can cum on her teats!
Hey halloweenies!
Let us all get ourselves spooked
By the C.I.A.
Haiku # 72498, October 7, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by And Royal Canadian Mounties
Damn, Janis. I thought
my VPN was working.
Stole your name. Sorry
Haiku # 72497, October 7, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by Just For Fun of Reykjavik, Botswana
guy bangs on my door
needs to inspect my backyard
with his theremin
Haiku # 72496, October 7, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by scotch of says he's looking for a sewer line, but i know a theremin when i hear one
Halloween costume
featuring my camel toe
Now, to find a hump
Haiku # 72495, October 7, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by Preparation H(alloween)
Instead of candy
Give 'em the smell of a fart
It won't rot your teeth
Haiku # 72494, October 7, 2021 4:23 pm ET
by Cabbage Night of Forever
Hallow's Eve draws near.
It is Halloween all year
Your haiku is queer.
Haiku # 72493, October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Starkitten was here
Haiku # 72492, October 7, 2021 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Genital Graveyard
Here lies the world's biggest dick
and a bunch of cunts
Haiku # 72491, October 7, 2021 4:16 pm ET
by Kneeling of Headstone
I knew all those names
Were really just one chatbot.
Farting chatbot Darth.
Haiku # 72490, October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Not-Janis of Definitely not using a VPN
"yes, i'm a mummy.
but no, i'm not the mummy."
small talk at the mash
Haiku # 72489, October 7, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by scotch of graveyard smash
there would be no fight
dracula and the mummy
would just do the mash
Haiku # 72488, October 7, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by scotch of wanna mash?
I saw seven frogs.
Sitting on five lillypads.
Filthy little things.
Haiku # 72487, October 7, 2021 3:16 pm ET
by e bye
Who'd win in a fight,
Dracula or the Mummy?
Explain your answer.
Haiku # 72486, October 7, 2021 3:13 pm ET
by the way, I'm recording this.
I got arrested.
Stealing tombstones for my yard.
I just borrowed them.

"The owners won't mind.
Go over there and ask them!"
The judge didn't laugh.

I guess it's good that
I didn't get a coffin.
But I was gonna.
Haiku # 72485, October 7, 2021 3:10 pm ET
by Gram-gram won't mind! of If she knew, she'd say it was okay.
What will you go as
for Halloween this fine year.
I will be a fart!
Haiku # 72484, October 7, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Not going to be easy, but I think I can do it.
Scotch is horrible.
But nowhere as bad as gin.
Real pirates drink rum!
Haiku # 72483, October 7, 2021 3:03 pm ET
by And that's good enough for me! of Release the Kraken!
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >