Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 257 Days and 71081 Haikus later...

I'm so offensive
I lost my Farcebook account
for like the fifth time.
Haiku # 70974, July 18, 2021 4:57 am ET
by mark fuck her burg is a gaylien robot. of his wife's a Thai lady boy.
Imagine a bowl.
There's no tank or even seat.
Lastly no TP.

Bucket of water.
Carried from a long distance.
Bowls are luxury.

You don't belive me?
Go ask the old carabao
in his mud puddle.
Haiku # 70973, July 18, 2021 4:45 am ET
by The truth comes out in the end. of And a few round worms.
It's not subtraction.
It is ellimination.
Illuminating.
Haiku # 70972, July 18, 2021 4:39 am ET
by Black light and strobes. of Disco bathroom. Can't tell if the wipe is clean.
Under old willow
I found a dink shaped mushroom
You're a fun guy, Darth
Haiku # 70971, July 18, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Noticer of fungi
If I follow you
You say it comes out a hole
But that's subtraction
Haiku # 70970, July 18, 2021 2:39 am ET
by Confused about math of Need extra help
A fart's a fraction,
but it comes out of a whole.
That is rational.
Haiku # 70969, July 18, 2021 1:10 am ET
by Transcendentally odoripperous. of Bifurcating butt spray.
2+2=4
Then, a fart is a fraction
You do the math, Darth
Haiku # 70968, July 17, 2021 11:34 pm ET
by Methanematician of Gas Station
Cannibal Mukbang
With your host, Darth Figpucker!
Longpig, anyone?
Haiku # 70967, July 17, 2021 11:27 pm ET
by Always Hungry of Meat me by Old Willow
We need some new porn.
Like The Pope banging muppets.
Or poet snuff porn.
Haiku # 70966, July 17, 2021 10:49 pm ET
by Leave C'Thulu's offspring alone.
Never leave the bed
Like the old folks in Wonka
Those aren't chocolate stains!
Haiku # 70965, July 17, 2021 12:45 pm ET
by Charlie's Mother of Steaming Laundry Cauldron
You won't find it here
Unless you're looking for
Cephalopod porn
Haiku # 70963, July 17, 2021 4:00 am ET
by Helping Tentacles of At your service
Everybody knows
My favourite mathematician
is a haiku poet
Haiku # 70962, July 17, 2021 2:57 am ET
by All of the right syllables
Haiku insurance
Low deductible (one fart)
Protect your poems
Haiku # 70961, July 16, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Sales Representative
when you do the maths
the answer is seventeen
and that's.... add haiku
Haiku # 70960, July 16, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by ash of more like adhd
lose those delta blues
rona takes your breath away
and then breaks your heart
Haiku # 70959, July 16, 2021 9:45 pm ET
by ash of fully vaccinated
If you ever used
Mutual of Omaha
then you are wild.
Haiku # 70957, July 16, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Monkeys buying insurance. of Perky Perkins.
If you are homeless
then you are freer than most
and don't pay mortgage.
Haiku # 70956, July 16, 2021 8:26 am ET
by blah blah blah
Who's your favorite
mathematician who is
no longer living?
Haiku # 70955, July 16, 2021 8:23 am ET
by For just math, it's Euler hands down, but for craziness of But for fun times I'd say Paul Erdős
Okay, so answer what the hell the Willy Wonka Super Skrunch chocolate bar has to do with being patriotic. It's really had me baffled and it's all I can think about... Well, that and Winona Ryder's underwear.
Haiku # 70954, July 16, 2021 8:15 am ET
by Seriously! of Would I lie?
I'm right here, friend
It's like that Footprints poem
But it's shit, not sand
Haiku # 70953, July 16, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Shitprints of Sand
You have not answered.
No one has said anything.
There's not even spam.
Haiku # 70950, July 15, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by I feel so alone in this world!
I was a hippie.
Not very patriotic.
Had quite the lice nest.

But how are Skrunch bars
exactly patriotic?
I'm dying to know.
Haiku # 70949, July 14, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees. A nest for birds, there ain't no words. For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair.
You sillyass bot
Cutting and pasting that text
To bore us to tears
Haiku # 70947, July 14, 2021 5:32 pm ET
by Spift James of BARBADASS
Sounds delicious
Never get candy here
I'm always hungry
Haiku # 70944, July 13, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I recall those days:
Strong patriotic families...
Figpucker knows best!
Haiku # 70943, July 13, 2021 9:28 pm ET
by Darth of Crew-cut Cold Warrior
I might consider
stopping haiku if I could
get a Super Skrunch.
Haiku # 70942, July 13, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Voices in my head
have gone on strike demanding
I give up haiku.
Haiku # 70941, July 13, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Fuck 'em. of I am the evil one, they try to make me stop.
I found the info.
It's "Super Skrunch" and "Oompas".
You remember, right?
Haiku # 70940, July 13, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by I'd trade my dad's Playboys for one of those!
A Golden Ticket
Looks like we both found one, Darth
See you on the tour
Haiku # 70939, July 13, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Starkitten
Remember the old
Willy Wonka chocolates
from 40 years back.
Haiku # 70938, July 13, 2021 8:58 pm ET
by They were pretty damn good. of Can't find them now.
The poems found here
The handiwork of Satan
Keep up the good work!
Haiku # 70937, July 13, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by Long Haul Trucker of Jug Pissing
Voices in his head
dictating each syllable
He tossed out his meds
Haiku # 70936, July 13, 2021 5:45 pm ET
by Escaped Patient of Backless examining gown
Frank Sterb, paisano.
Usted baila merengue
Como un robot.
Haiku # 70935, July 13, 2021 4:52 pm ET
by Mangú of CIBAO
He pulls out Werther's
Farts escape his tired butt cheeks
Each fart a haiku
Haiku # 70934, July 13, 2021 4:39 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Yes, old man; correct.
Everything is all broken.
And keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 70933, July 13, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Blame God and Blotzman. of 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.
Not funny no more
Reality is the joke
Broken, not woken
Haiku # 70932, July 13, 2021 1:44 pm ET
by Vhs

excellent publish, very informative. I'm wondering why the opposite experts of this sector don't realize this. You must proceed your writing. I'm confident, you have a great readers' base already!
Haiku # 70930, July 13, 2021 4:37 am ET
by FrankSterb of Dominican Republic
Gust of wind whispers
What would you like for breakfast?
I'll blow dry your balls
Haiku # 70929, July 12, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by Farts of packed in concentrated mackerel juice
Capitalist dogs!
America will soon fall!
Starbucks Coffee too!

You ask which country??!!
The United States, of course!
I don't mean Brazil!

Look, you idiot.
I know America is BIG.
North and South, yeah so.

Jesus, get a life.
Can't I even post Commie
Propaganda here?!
Haiku # 70928, July 12, 2021 7:57 pm ET
by The Marxist Brothers
Don't get worked up, Darth
There is no real ex wives club.
We'd still have at you
Haiku # 70927, July 12, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Darth is Love of Old Willow Nature Cult
did you notice that
my non-existent undies
are impervious

indestructible
magnetoluminescent
odoriferous
Haiku # 70926, July 12, 2021 7:48 pm ET
by And many other great words. of I have the best words. Amazing words. Fantastic words. You won't find better words.
Go back and read the
Nineteen-ninety-seven posts.
Guess which ones are mine.
Haiku # 70925, July 12, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by You filthy slut biscuit of 90% pork gravy.
Will Janis help her?
The IP address log book.
I don't fucking care.
Haiku # 70924, July 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by I may be a pervert, but of course all child molesters should die! Depopulate the planet starting with them.
I am offended.
All this SPAM could feed millions.
If it were real SPAM.
Haiku # 70923, July 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by I think Janis gave up. of My ex is busy collecting all the poems I post on here to use in divorce court, the stupid psycho slut.
When a whore asks me
"What would you like for breakfast?"
That's a good feeling.
Haiku # 70922, July 12, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by Eggs over easy, toast, and coffee. of Anywhere that chickens lay eggs.
Penis tuxedoes
Why you dashing, dapper dinks!
Pardon, they're penquins
Haiku # 70920, July 12, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by Jerker of Turtles
The red popsicle:
A hammer and popsicle
Frozen commie treat
Haiku # 70918, July 12, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by Leon Lenin of ARKANGELSK
The popsicle's gone
Victims of power outage
Those little poets!
Haiku # 70917, July 12, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Hurry up, Darth of Crank out some more
I want in on that
Octopus Hug-a-thon
Ladies get Free Drinks
Haiku # 70916, July 12, 2021 5:48 am ET
by Noticer of Seashells of Dlver Down
I just figured out
I was writing here way back
in ninety-seven.
Haiku # 70915, July 12, 2021 4:28 am ET
by Jesus, I'm old.
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