Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 339 Days and 72781 Haikus later...

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Haiku # 70930, July 13, 2021 4:37 am ET
by FrankSterb of Dominican Republic
Gust of wind whispers
What would you like for breakfast?
I'll blow dry your balls
Haiku # 70929, July 12, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by Farts of packed in concentrated mackerel juice
Capitalist dogs!
America will soon fall!
Starbucks Coffee too!

You ask which country??!!
The United States, of course!
I don't mean Brazil!

Look, you idiot.
I know America is BIG.
North and South, yeah so.

Jesus, get a life.
Can't I even post Commie
Propaganda here?!
Haiku # 70928, July 12, 2021 7:57 pm ET
by The Marxist Brothers
Don't get worked up, Darth
There is no real ex wives club.
We'd still have at you
Haiku # 70927, July 12, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Darth is Love of Old Willow Nature Cult
did you notice that
my non-existent undies
are impervious

Haiku # 70926, July 12, 2021 7:48 pm ET
by And many other great words. of I have the best words. Amazing words. Fantastic words. You won't find better words.
Go back and read the
Nineteen-ninety-seven posts.
Guess which ones are mine.
Haiku # 70925, July 12, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by You filthy slut biscuit of 90% pork gravy.
Will Janis help her?
The IP address log book.
I don't fucking care.
Haiku # 70924, July 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by I may be a pervert, but of course all child molesters should die! Depopulate the planet starting with them.
I am offended.
All this SPAM could feed millions.
If it were real SPAM.
Haiku # 70923, July 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by I think Janis gave up. of My ex is busy collecting all the poems I post on here to use in divorce court, the stupid psycho slut.
When a whore asks me
"What would you like for breakfast?"
That's a good feeling.
Haiku # 70922, July 12, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by Eggs over easy, toast, and coffee. of Anywhere that chickens lay eggs.
Penis tuxedoes
Why you dashing, dapper dinks!
Pardon, they're penquins
Haiku # 70920, July 12, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by Jerker of Turtles
The red popsicle:
A hammer and popsicle
Frozen commie treat
Haiku # 70918, July 12, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by Leon Lenin of ARKANGELSK
The popsicle's gone
Victims of power outage
Those little poets!
Haiku # 70917, July 12, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Hurry up, Darth of Crank out some more
I want in on that
Octopus Hug-a-thon
Ladies get Free Drinks
Haiku # 70916, July 12, 2021 5:48 am ET
by Noticer of Seashells of Dlver Down
I just figured out
I was writing here way back
in ninety-seven.
Haiku # 70915, July 12, 2021 4:28 am ET
by Jesus, I'm old.
I to you will remember it! I will pay off with you!
Haiku # 70912, July 12, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Scottylox of Kyrgyzstan
You commit an error. I can defend the position. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
Haiku # 70911, July 12, 2021 3:26 am ET
by Kevinarcaw of Turkey
Vasectomy, yes.
I have a sperm popsicle
to repopulate.

Just imagine it.
A billion new Figpuckers
after World War III.

If you don't eat it,
high one night after Netflix.
Frozen protein treat.
Haiku # 70910, July 12, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Sith happens.
You told me you did
a self vasectomy, Darth
I just see a dick
Haiku # 70908, July 12, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of All his exes give him hexes
I bought your children
Turns out they are sea monkeys
Haiku # 70907, July 12, 2021 12:22 am ET
by Noticer of Fukushima Fuckers
I sold my children.
Now I live under a bridge.
Huffing paint thinner.

It's a better life.
But now I have no excuse
to play at playgrounds.

What was I thinking?
This world's full of dirty whores.
I'll just make some more.
Haiku # 70906, July 12, 2021 12:14 am ET
by Planned Parenthood. of In The Rear.
Try Ben & Jerry's
"Cherry Garcia" ice cream
after opium.

It's like finding God.
First you have to fight dragons.
Then raped by Care Bears.
Haiku # 70905, July 12, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Rainbow marshmallow cream.
Bob Dylan will burn!
So will Jerry Garcia.
Goddamn drug culture.
Haiku # 70904, July 11, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Old school fuddy duddy fusspot conservative.
So was Dylan saved?
Or another crypto-Jew...
It makes you wonder.
Haiku # 70903, July 11, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Robbie Zimmerman of DULUTH
"Clusters of black holes"
pops up in my Google feed.
Relevant to me?
Haiku # 70902, July 11, 2021 8:23 pm ET
by Oh, yeah, I get it now.
Noticer is quite
the prophalactic poet.
Sterile, large volume.
Haiku # 70901, July 11, 2021 7:22 pm ET
by And covers everything.
That means real haiku.
Boner pill and sex chat spam,
that stuff doesn't count.
Haiku # 70900, July 11, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by So, about 65K haiku now of 935000 haiku to go. Noticer can do that in a week.
I cannot decide.
Quantity or quality.
Poop pee fart boogers.
Haiku # 70899, July 11, 2021 7:13 pm ET
by We have to get it up to 1M haiku of before Janis pulls the plug.
The matchless message, is interesting to me :)
Haiku # 70898, July 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET
by CarlosFub of Switzerland
aye bonnie covid
here we are back in loch doon
and it's groundhog day
Haiku # 70896, July 11, 2021 6:48 am ET
by ash
Darnell Figpucker
seated at his abacus
A load in his pants
Haiku # 70894, July 11, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Do I have to go to school, mom? of Math Class stinx
Sorry for taking
Your wallet and credit cards
after you passed out
Haiku # 70893, July 11, 2021 2:37 am ET
by Don't even think of calling the police
My apologies
Sorry about all of this
I beg your pardon
Haiku # 70892, July 11, 2021 2:32 am ET
by Paula G.
Now all is clear, many thanks for the information.
Haiku # 70891, July 11, 2021 1:31 am ET
by DarnellVIamp of Sri Lanka
I drive trucks long haul
Naturally, I piss in jugs
They dot the highways
Haiku # 70890, July 10, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by Amber Waves of Piss
Beauregard the dog
sniffing the Hee Haw Honeys
Hmmm. . fart or hump legs?
Haiku # 70889, July 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Decider of Decisions
Working on miracle drink
Everlasting hard ons!
Haiku # 70888, July 10, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Scientist of Science
All of y'all crackers.
Bunch of stoned wheat thins with cheese.
You dumb-ass hors-d'oeuvres.
Haiku # 70887, July 10, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Duc de Berry of Tres Riches Heures
Goddamn you racists.
Who you callin' a cracker?!
I'm a sweet cookie!

I'll write Nabisco.
Get them to change that rude word.
Cookies, not "crackers".
Haiku # 70886, July 10, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by The easily broken giraffe.
Your remote would work
if you'd not swap batteries
for your huge dildo.
Haiku # 70885, July 10, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Enticer of pee trails.
This rhinoceros
Fucking a broken tiger
Animal Crackers
Haiku # 70884, July 10, 2021 5:22 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Fecal Cyclone Watch
Seek shelter on higher ground
Watch for corn hailstones
Haiku # 70882, July 10, 2021 12:44 am ET
by International Association of Weathermen/Mathematicians with abnormally large genitals
The whirling dervish
experienced a sudden
bad diarrhea
Haiku # 70881, July 10, 2021 12:38 am ET
by Stain of Poop
Tom Bosley, in Hell
Flames lapping his hangdog face
Shouldn't have fucked goats
Haiku # 70880, July 9, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Billy of Undisclosed barn location
Do you think cavemen
had stinkier farts than us?
Back up your theory
Haiku # 70879, July 9, 2021 10:49 pm ET
by Molecules of Fun
The Commercial Break
Should I give myself a wank?
Or go fix a snack?
Haiku # 70878, July 9, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Cheez Balls of Ass on sofa crack
And now it's time for
Cephalopod Trivia
with your host, Mush-head
Haiku # 70877, July 9, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Chicken of Sea
And now some input
from celebrity birthmark
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku # 70876, July 9, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by I. Fartoffen of Holler
You: fix my remote.
Reprogram the Goddamn thing.
Needs some batteries.
Haiku # 70875, July 9, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by Tech Trials of THE MODERN WHIRLED
God, I wish they'd die.
This is getting out of hand.
Posts need approval.
Haiku # 70874, July 9, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by Submit the poem, it gets reviewed, then approved for posting. of Thus spam is no more. Janis should sleep with me.
When did you last have
a virtual reach-around
from a sexting site?
Haiku # 70870, July 9, 2021 5:32 am ET
by Well, that's too long! of Extra spice chili.
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