When did you last have
a virtual reach-around
from a sexting site?
by Well, that's too long! of Extra spice chili.
Watch transvestites free!
Stalactites and stalagmites!
All hang out in caves!
by Perplexing sexting. of How do you "identify"?
I have a cheese dick
It looks like rancid Gouda
And tastes like it too
by jim of Pants
They are selling gold
leaf covered elephant poop
mounted on oak plaques.
I'm holding out for
gold plated celebrity poo
Kardashian kit.
Just like Pokemon,
it's addicting, pointless, and
gotta catch 'em all.
by The Baldwin poo collection is next! of Then the Kardsashians, but everyone has that already.
Is it Viagra?
The modern blue wonder pill?
Brings on the stiffy
by Helping Hand of From the people who brought you Furrburger Helper
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
I'll sell you this kiss
It's s big wet sloppy dog kiss
We'll see how that goes
by Labia of Canine
I don't mind the spam,
but sell me something useful...
or entertaining.
by entertain us of entered anus
I will soon find you.
And I'm going to kill you.
And no one will care.
by And I'm a robot.
when you make the clang
you reveal that manic thang
wang dang slang kerbang
by ash
Find this on YouTube:
Fart Inhaler Poetry.
You'll be glad you did.
by If I were an animal, I'd want to be a bear. of They're cute.
I've been vaxed and vexed.
Good soldiers follow odors.
It's the microchip.
by I think I got a bad batch. of Just like the acid I took.
Geese grease cease lease fleece.
Beef reef grief leaf queef belief.
Balot pollute cute.
by "Raw balot" is kind of a contradiction. of Like a raw wedding cake is not a wedding cake, it's just batter. Pitter patter splatter.
You got me all wrong.
I'm not a mathematician,
just a dirty whore.
by Pay me, I'll do it. of Anything you want. Yes, that too.
Punching sides of beef
Guzzling raw balot egg drinks
Darth vs Haiku
by Down for the count of I mean down on the mathematician
Filling meat orders
Like the list in The Shining
but for cannibals
by Leg of Longpig
Just outside your door
Nature is getting it on
(Inside, Darth feeds geese)
by Noticer of Details
Some just won't get vaxed
Increasing their odds of death
I'm okay with that
by Thinning the stupid out of the gene pool
mcdonalds is near
just past the starving children
should i torment them
by you know like for fun
the halls smell like poo
the hotel swarms with gay men
and the bar is closed
by of
i dont like using
periods apostrophes
commas and the like
by of
asteroids coming
corona doesnt matter
we all go splatter
by of
dont use alcohol
for sanitizing your hands
bums lick your fingers
by the bums bums with rums
one million dollars
that isn't too much to ask
state sponsored sex change
by spare some change
Skid Marks?! I NEVER!...
Well, not since using bidets.
Squeaky clean anus.
by Clean enough to eat off it!
A prayer for Darth
Blessed be thy Fruit of the Loom
No skid marks this week
by He doesn't use toilet paper of Mathematics Department
Wrap it in the flag
and fuck it for Old Glory!
Make it cry "Uncle!"
by Uncle Sam of Follow the red, white and blue cum stains
God, Guns, Guts, Glory.
Lady Gaga goes PornHub.
Gratifying goo.
by Amazing Grace
Beer and BBQ.
Queen Elizabeth's fake nudes.
Proud Founding Fathers.
by Farth of Poo-lie of Outhouse by the lake.
It's better tripping.
Fireworks are so intense.
With LSD.
by Freedom! Free your mind. of Your behind will wobble.
The Bastard Nation.
Celebrates master bay shun.
Celibate shock wave.
by Look, up in the sky, it's a turd, it's a pain, it's... of Potassium nitrate and aluminum powder.
Slapped a mosquito.
The bloody stain on the floor.
Artwork of revenge.
by Feminine napkin socks.
I don't like ice cream.
Well, actually I do.
But not the damn noise.
I guess you call it
Pavlovian aversion.
The loud bells and noise.
When I taste ice cream
my ears throb with aching pain.
Asian shopping malls.
by Bells and whistles are for dogs.
Lord, how you will dance
when the odd, blue crested pfantz
lays eggs in your pants
by That's about enough of these nicknames for your bird
The blue crested pfantz
is a rather odd creature;
no one has seen it.
by Marlin Perkins of Mutual of Omaha
in your underwear
noticed the snail trails
go wash your panties!
by Ewwwww
mathematical
geniuses selling backpacks
that look just like cunts
by you can fit everything inside of available at amazon.com
A word to the wise
Don't forget your jimmy hats
when the fireworks start
by Noticer of Details
The square root of cunt
If x is equal to dink
and dink equals dong
by Genius of Mathematics Department
The Fourth of July.
Biden illegitimate.
Idiots cower.
by Programmable Voting Machine of HELL
We need more children
getting their extremities
obliterated.
by Wan Bang Yu Firework Company. of Beijing
The danger's not from
the firecracker's shock wave,
but the flatus blast.
The ass-meat shrapnel
has one click kill radius
and is quite toxic.
by You don't want to be anywhere near. of Beruit was nothing.
Resume highlights
Jerking off live dinosaurs
Hawking vitamins
by Fred Flintstone of Ten million strong ...and growing
In his fantasy,
Jeff Bezos is Lex Luthor.
But who's Superman?
by Henry Cavil? of that would be effing hilarious if he acted as Lex Lutor in a movie.
With that huge rocket
sticking out of my asshole
I won the "fun run".
by Fourth of July 5k Race of Jet propelled allowed this year.
What does Elon Musk
do for the Forth of July?
Bottle rocket wars?
by Jeff Bezos
This Fourth of July
Why not stick a firecracker
up inside your bum?
by Have a Finger Fucking Fourth of July
You need a big kiss
Pucker up, Darth Figpucker
I'll plant one on ya
by Venus Fly Cunt of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
According to Darth
The finest cheese in the world
grows under his balls
by Cheez Balls of Fromunda
