Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72687 Haikus later...

They are selling gold
leaf covered elephant poop
mounted on oak plaques.

I'm holding out for
gold plated celebrity poo
Kardashian kit.

Just like Pokemon,
it's addicting, pointless, and
gotta catch 'em all.
Haiku # 70864, July 8, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by The Baldwin poo collection is next! of Then the Kardsashians, but everyone has that already.
Is it Viagra?
The modern blue wonder pill?
Brings on the stiffy
Haiku # 70863, July 8, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Helping Hand of From the people who brought you Furrburger Helper
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
Haiku # 70862, July 8, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
Haiku # 70861, July 8, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
I'll sell you this kiss
It's s big wet sloppy dog kiss
We'll see how that goes
Haiku # 70857, July 7, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Labia of Canine
I don't mind the spam,
but sell me something useful...
or entertaining.
Haiku # 70856, July 7, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by entertain us of entered anus
I will soon find you.
And I'm going to kill you.
And no one will care.
Haiku # 70854, July 7, 2021 8:46 am ET
by And I'm a robot.
when you make the clang
you reveal that manic thang
wang dang slang kerbang
Haiku # 70853, July 7, 2021 8:44 am ET
by ash
Find this on YouTube:
Fart Inhaler Poetry.
You'll be glad you did.
Haiku # 70852, July 7, 2021 5:34 am ET
by If I were an animal, I'd want to be a bear. of They're cute.
I've been vaxed and vexed.
Good soldiers follow odors.
It's the microchip.
Haiku # 70851, July 7, 2021 4:38 am ET
by I think I got a bad batch. of Just like the acid I took.
Geese grease cease lease fleece.
Beef reef grief leaf queef belief.
Balot pollute cute.
Haiku # 70850, July 7, 2021 4:35 am ET
by "Raw balot" is kind of a contradiction. of Like a raw wedding cake is not a wedding cake, it's just batter. Pitter patter splatter.
You got me all wrong.
I'm not a mathematician,
just a dirty whore.
Haiku # 70849, July 7, 2021 4:27 am ET
by Pay me, I'll do it. of Anything you want. Yes, that too.
Punching sides of beef
Guzzling raw balot egg drinks
Darth vs Haiku
Haiku # 70848, July 7, 2021 12:46 am ET
by Down for the count of I mean down on the mathematician
Filling meat orders
Like the list in The Shining
but for cannibals
Haiku # 70847, July 7, 2021 12:40 am ET
by Leg of Longpig
Just outside your door
Nature is getting it on
(Inside, Darth feeds geese)
Haiku # 70846, July 6, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Some just won't get vaxed
Increasing their odds of death
I'm okay with that
Haiku # 70845, July 6, 2021 3:04 pm ET
by Thinning the stupid out of the gene pool
mcdonalds is near
just past the starving children
should i torment them
Haiku # 70844, July 6, 2021 8:51 am ET
by you know like for fun
the halls smell like poo
the hotel swarms with gay men
and the bar is closed
Haiku # 70843, July 6, 2021 8:44 am ET
by of
i dont like using
periods apostrophes
commas and the like
Haiku # 70842, July 6, 2021 8:42 am ET
by of
asteroids coming
corona doesnt matter
we all go splatter
Haiku # 70841, July 6, 2021 8:40 am ET
by of
dont use alcohol
for sanitizing your hands
bums lick your fingers
Haiku # 70840, July 6, 2021 8:36 am ET
by the bums bums with rums
one million dollars
that isn't too much to ask
state sponsored sex change
Haiku # 70839, July 6, 2021 8:32 am ET
by spare some change
Skid Marks?! I NEVER!...
Well, not since using bidets.
Squeaky clean anus.
Haiku # 70838, July 6, 2021 2:19 am ET
by Clean enough to eat off it!
A prayer for Darth
Blessed be thy Fruit of the Loom
No skid marks this week
Haiku # 70837, July 6, 2021 12:40 am ET
by He doesn't use toilet paper of Mathematics Department
Wrap it in the flag
and fuck it for Old Glory!
Make it cry "Uncle!"
Haiku # 70836, July 6, 2021 12:17 am ET
by Uncle Sam of Follow the red, white and blue cum stains
God, Guns, Guts, Glory.
Lady Gaga goes PornHub.
Gratifying goo.
Haiku # 70835, July 5, 2021 11:48 pm ET
by Amazing Grace
Beer and BBQ.
Queen Elizabeth's fake nudes.
Proud Founding Fathers.
Haiku # 70834, July 5, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by Farth of Poo-lie of Outhouse by the lake.
It's better tripping.
Fireworks are so intense.
With LSD.
Haiku # 70833, July 5, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Freedom! Free your mind. of Your behind will wobble.
The Bastard Nation.
Celebrates master bay shun.
Celibate shock wave.
Haiku # 70832, July 5, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by Look, up in the sky, it's a turd, it's a pain, it's... of Potassium nitrate and aluminum powder.
Slapped a mosquito.
The bloody stain on the floor.
Artwork of revenge.
Haiku # 70831, July 5, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Feminine napkin socks.
I don't like ice cream.
Well, actually I do.
But not the damn noise.

I guess you call it
Pavlovian aversion.
The loud bells and noise.

When I taste ice cream
my ears throb with aching pain.
Asian shopping malls.
Haiku # 70830, July 5, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Bells and whistles are for dogs.
Lord, how you will dance
when the odd, blue crested pfantz
lays eggs in your pants
Haiku # 70829, July 5, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by That's about enough of these nicknames for your bird
The blue crested pfantz
is a rather odd creature;
no one has seen it.
Haiku # 70828, July 5, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Marlin Perkins of Mutual of Omaha
in your underwear
noticed the snail trails
go wash your panties!
Haiku # 70827, July 5, 2021 6:54 am ET
by Ewwwww
mathematical
geniuses selling backpacks
that look just like cunts
Haiku # 70826, July 5, 2021 6:50 am ET
by you can fit everything inside of available at amazon.com
A word to the wise
Don't forget your jimmy hats
when the fireworks start
Haiku # 70825, July 4, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
The square root of cunt
If x is equal to dink
and dink equals dong
Haiku # 70823, July 4, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Genius of Mathematics Department
The Fourth of July.
Biden illegitimate.
Idiots cower.
Haiku # 70822, July 4, 2021 4:08 pm ET
by Programmable Voting Machine of HELL
We need more children
getting their extremities
obliterated.
Haiku # 70821, July 4, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Wan Bang Yu Firework Company. of Beijing
The danger's not from
the firecracker's shock wave,
but the flatus blast.

The ass-meat shrapnel
has one click kill radius
and is quite toxic.
Haiku # 70820, July 4, 2021 4:46 am ET
by You don't want to be anywhere near. of Beruit was nothing.
Resume highlights
Jerking off live dinosaurs
Hawking vitamins
Haiku # 70819, July 4, 2021 1:13 am ET
by Fred Flintstone of Ten million strong ...and growing
In his fantasy,
Jeff Bezos is Lex Luthor.
But who's Superman?
Haiku # 70817, July 4, 2021 12:07 am ET
by Henry Cavil? of that would be effing hilarious if he acted as Lex Lutor in a movie.
With that huge rocket
sticking out of my asshole
I won the "fun run".
Haiku # 70816, July 4, 2021 12:04 am ET
by Fourth of July 5k Race of Jet propelled allowed this year.
What does Elon Musk
do for the Forth of July?
Bottle rocket wars?
Haiku # 70815, July 4, 2021 12:00 am ET
by Jeff Bezos
This Fourth of July
Why not stick a firecracker
up inside your bum?
Haiku # 70814, July 3, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by Have a Finger Fucking Fourth of July
You need a big kiss
Pucker up, Darth Figpucker
I'll plant one on ya
Haiku # 70813, July 3, 2021 5:53 am ET
by Venus Fly Cunt of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
According to Darth
The finest cheese in the world
grows under his balls
Haiku # 70812, July 3, 2021 5:47 am ET
by Cheez Balls of Fromunda
Starkitten's asshole
tastes better than any cunt
you've ever eaten.
Haiku # 70810, July 3, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay
Starkitten: she's not
a woman. Really she's a
Fat, scary drag queen.
Haiku # 70809, July 3, 2021 2:23 am ET
by Faking Her Identity of Course
Cops in Oregon.
Find 10 kilos of cocaine.
Warned for bad brake light.
Haiku # 70808, July 3, 2021 1:57 am ET
by I'm moving there, I swear it!
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