Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 21 Days and 74124 Haikus later...

I don't mind the spam,
but sell me something useful...
or entertaining.
Haiku # 70856, July 7, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by entertain us of entered anus
I will soon find you.
And I'm going to kill you.
And no one will care.
Haiku # 70854, July 7, 2021 8:46 am ET
by And I'm a robot.
when you make the clang
you reveal that manic thang
wang dang slang kerbang
Haiku # 70853, July 7, 2021 8:44 am ET
by ash
Find this on YouTube:
Fart Inhaler Poetry.
You'll be glad you did.
Haiku # 70852, July 7, 2021 5:34 am ET
by If I were an animal, I'd want to be a bear. of They're cute.
I've been vaxed and vexed.
Good soldiers follow odors.
It's the microchip.
Haiku # 70851, July 7, 2021 4:38 am ET
by I think I got a bad batch. of Just like the acid I took.
Geese grease cease lease fleece.
Beef reef grief leaf queef belief.
Balot pollute cute.
Haiku # 70850, July 7, 2021 4:35 am ET
by "Raw balot" is kind of a contradiction. of Like a raw wedding cake is not a wedding cake, it's just batter. Pitter patter splatter.
You got me all wrong.
I'm not a mathematician,
just a dirty whore.
Haiku # 70849, July 7, 2021 4:27 am ET
by Pay me, I'll do it. of Anything you want. Yes, that too.
Punching sides of beef
Guzzling raw balot egg drinks
Darth vs Haiku
Haiku # 70848, July 7, 2021 12:46 am ET
by Down for the count of I mean down on the mathematician
Filling meat orders
Like the list in The Shining
but for cannibals
Haiku # 70847, July 7, 2021 12:40 am ET
by Leg of Longpig
Just outside your door
Nature is getting it on
(Inside, Darth feeds geese)
Haiku # 70846, July 6, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Some just won't get vaxed
Increasing their odds of death
I'm okay with that
Haiku # 70845, July 6, 2021 3:04 pm ET
by Thinning the stupid out of the gene pool
mcdonalds is near
just past the starving children
should i torment them
Haiku # 70844, July 6, 2021 8:51 am ET
by you know like for fun
the halls smell like poo
the hotel swarms with gay men
and the bar is closed
Haiku # 70843, July 6, 2021 8:44 am ET
by of
i dont like using
periods apostrophes
commas and the like
Haiku # 70842, July 6, 2021 8:42 am ET
by of
asteroids coming
corona doesnt matter
we all go splatter
Haiku # 70841, July 6, 2021 8:40 am ET
by of
dont use alcohol
for sanitizing your hands
bums lick your fingers
Haiku # 70840, July 6, 2021 8:36 am ET
by the bums bums with rums
one million dollars
that isn't too much to ask
state sponsored sex change
Haiku # 70839, July 6, 2021 8:32 am ET
by spare some change
Skid Marks?! I NEVER!...
Well, not since using bidets.
Squeaky clean anus.
Haiku # 70838, July 6, 2021 2:19 am ET
by Clean enough to eat off it!
A prayer for Darth
Blessed be thy Fruit of the Loom
No skid marks this week
Haiku # 70837, July 6, 2021 12:40 am ET
by He doesn't use toilet paper of Mathematics Department
Wrap it in the flag
and fuck it for Old Glory!
Make it cry "Uncle!"
Haiku # 70836, July 6, 2021 12:17 am ET
by Uncle Sam of Follow the red, white and blue cum stains
God, Guns, Guts, Glory.
Lady Gaga goes PornHub.
Gratifying goo.
Haiku # 70835, July 5, 2021 11:48 pm ET
by Amazing Grace
Beer and BBQ.
Queen Elizabeth's fake nudes.
Proud Founding Fathers.
Haiku # 70834, July 5, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by Farth of Poo-lie of Outhouse by the lake.
It's better tripping.
Fireworks are so intense.
With LSD.
Haiku # 70833, July 5, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Freedom! Free your mind. of Your behind will wobble.
The Bastard Nation.
Celebrates master bay shun.
Celibate shock wave.
Haiku # 70832, July 5, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by Look, up in the sky, it's a turd, it's a pain, it's... of Potassium nitrate and aluminum powder.
Slapped a mosquito.
The bloody stain on the floor.
Artwork of revenge.
Haiku # 70831, July 5, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Feminine napkin socks.
I don't like ice cream.
Well, actually I do.
But not the damn noise.

I guess you call it
Pavlovian aversion.
The loud bells and noise.

When I taste ice cream
my ears throb with aching pain.
Asian shopping malls.
Haiku # 70830, July 5, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Bells and whistles are for dogs.
Lord, how you will dance
when the odd, blue crested pfantz
lays eggs in your pants
Haiku # 70829, July 5, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by That's about enough of these nicknames for your bird
The blue crested pfantz
is a rather odd creature;
no one has seen it.
Haiku # 70828, July 5, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Marlin Perkins of Mutual of Omaha
in your underwear
noticed the snail trails
go wash your panties!
Haiku # 70827, July 5, 2021 6:54 am ET
by Ewwwww
geniuses selling backpacks
that look just like cunts
Haiku # 70826, July 5, 2021 6:50 am ET
by you can fit everything inside of available at
A word to the wise
Don't forget your jimmy hats
when the fireworks start
Haiku # 70825, July 4, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
The square root of cunt
If x is equal to dink
and dink equals dong
Haiku # 70823, July 4, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Genius of Mathematics Department
The Fourth of July.
Biden illegitimate.
Idiots cower.
Haiku # 70822, July 4, 2021 4:08 pm ET
by Programmable Voting Machine of HELL
We need more children
getting their extremities
Haiku # 70821, July 4, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Wan Bang Yu Firework Company. of Beijing
The danger's not from
the firecracker's shock wave,
but the flatus blast.

The ass-meat shrapnel
has one click kill radius
and is quite toxic.
Haiku # 70820, July 4, 2021 4:46 am ET
by You don't want to be anywhere near. of Beruit was nothing.
Resume highlights
Jerking off live dinosaurs
Hawking vitamins
Haiku # 70819, July 4, 2021 1:13 am ET
by Fred Flintstone of Ten million strong ...and growing
In his fantasy,
Jeff Bezos is Lex Luthor.
But who's Superman?
Haiku # 70817, July 4, 2021 12:07 am ET
by Henry Cavil? of that would be effing hilarious if he acted as Lex Lutor in a movie.
With that huge rocket
sticking out of my asshole
I won the "fun run".
Haiku # 70816, July 4, 2021 12:04 am ET
by Fourth of July 5k Race of Jet propelled allowed this year.
What does Elon Musk
do for the Forth of July?
Bottle rocket wars?
Haiku # 70815, July 4, 2021 12:00 am ET
by Jeff Bezos
This Fourth of July
Why not stick a firecracker
up inside your bum?
Haiku # 70814, July 3, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by Have a Finger Fucking Fourth of July
You need a big kiss
Pucker up, Darth Figpucker
I'll plant one on ya
Haiku # 70813, July 3, 2021 5:53 am ET
by Venus Fly Cunt of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
According to Darth
The finest cheese in the world
grows under his balls
Haiku # 70812, July 3, 2021 5:47 am ET
by Cheez Balls of Fromunda
Starkitten's asshole
tastes better than any cunt
you've ever eaten.
Haiku # 70810, July 3, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay
Starkitten: she's not
a woman. Really she's a
Fat, scary drag queen.
Haiku # 70809, July 3, 2021 2:23 am ET
by Faking Her Identity of Course
Cops in Oregon.
Find 10 kilos of cocaine.
Warned for bad brake light.
Haiku # 70808, July 3, 2021 1:57 am ET
by I'm moving there, I swear it!
On my wedding night
we watched octopus jap porn
while eating live squid.

How long can squid live
in a human vagina?
Let's ask Mister Owl.
Haiku # 70807, July 3, 2021 1:52 am ET
by df of The best it ever smelled.
Gone to brought one things.
On Chinese things for English
Which are some business!
Haiku # 70806, July 2, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Investments Industry of GUONG DONG Ltd.
Arrest them drug-heads.
Search the car and lock them up.
Damn I love this show.
Haiku # 70805, July 2, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Non-stop Reruns of COPS
Darth's sad wedding night:
Couldn't hold his pencil up
To scrawl some haiku
Haiku # 70804, July 2, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Figpuckered and Flustered of HOLY MATRIMONEY
Vomit inducung
painted ugly toe nails.
Better amputate.
Haiku # 70803, July 2, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by df of Draw attention away from it, not to it. Old women try to be sexy.
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