Wrap it in the flag
and fuck it for Old Glory!
Make it cry "Uncle!"
by Uncle Sam of Follow the red, white and blue cum stains
God, Guns, Guts, Glory.
Lady Gaga goes PornHub.
Gratifying goo.
by Amazing Grace
Beer and BBQ.
Queen Elizabeth's fake nudes.
Proud Founding Fathers.
by Farth of Poo-lie of Outhouse by the lake.
It's better tripping.
Fireworks are so intense.
With LSD.
by Freedom! Free your mind. of Your behind will wobble.
The Bastard Nation.
Celebrates master bay shun.
Celibate shock wave.
by Look, up in the sky, it's a turd, it's a pain, it's... of Potassium nitrate and aluminum powder.
Slapped a mosquito.
The bloody stain on the floor.
Artwork of revenge.
by Feminine napkin socks.
I don't like ice cream.
Well, actually I do.
But not the damn noise.
I guess you call it
Pavlovian aversion.
The loud bells and noise.
When I taste ice cream
my ears throb with aching pain.
Asian shopping malls.
by Bells and whistles are for dogs.
Lord, how you will dance
when the odd, blue crested pfantz
lays eggs in your pants
by That's about enough of these nicknames for your bird
The blue crested pfantz
is a rather odd creature;
no one has seen it.
by Marlin Perkins of Mutual of Omaha
in your underwear
noticed the snail trails
go wash your panties!
by Ewwwww
mathematical
geniuses selling backpacks
that look just like cunts
by you can fit everything inside of available at amazon.com
A word to the wise
Don't forget your jimmy hats
when the fireworks start
by Noticer of Details
The square root of cunt
If x is equal to dink
and dink equals dong
by Genius of Mathematics Department
The Fourth of July.
Biden illegitimate.
Idiots cower.
by Programmable Voting Machine of HELL
We need more children
getting their extremities
obliterated.
by Wan Bang Yu Firework Company. of Beijing
The danger's not from
the firecracker's shock wave,
but the flatus blast.
The ass-meat shrapnel
has one click kill radius
and is quite toxic.
by You don't want to be anywhere near. of Beruit was nothing.
Resume highlights
Jerking off live dinosaurs
Hawking vitamins
by Fred Flintstone of Ten million strong ...and growing
In his fantasy,
Jeff Bezos is Lex Luthor.
But who's Superman?
by Henry Cavil? of that would be effing hilarious if he acted as Lex Lutor in a movie.
With that huge rocket
sticking out of my asshole
I won the "fun run".
by Fourth of July 5k Race of Jet propelled allowed this year.
What does Elon Musk
do for the Forth of July?
Bottle rocket wars?
by Jeff Bezos
This Fourth of July
Why not stick a firecracker
up inside your bum?
by Have a Finger Fucking Fourth of July
You need a big kiss
Pucker up, Darth Figpucker
I'll plant one on ya
by Venus Fly Cunt of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
According to Darth
The finest cheese in the world
grows under his balls
by Cheez Balls of Fromunda
Starkitten's asshole
tastes better than any cunt
you've ever eaten.
by Gordon Ramsay
Starkitten: she's not
a woman. Really she's a
Fat, scary drag queen.
by Faking Her Identity of Course
Cops in Oregon.
Find 10 kilos of cocaine.
Warned for bad brake light.
by I'm moving there, I swear it!
On my wedding night
we watched octopus jap porn
while eating live squid.
How long can squid live
in a human vagina?
Let's ask Mister Owl.
by df of The best it ever smelled.
Gone to brought one things.
On Chinese things for English
Which are some business!
by Investments Industry of GUONG DONG Ltd.
Arrest them drug-heads.
Search the car and lock them up.
Damn I love this show.
by Non-stop Reruns of COPS
Darth's sad wedding night:
Couldn't hold his pencil up
To scrawl some haiku
by Figpuckered and Flustered of HOLY MATRIMONEY
Vomit inducung
painted ugly toe nails.
Better amputate.
by df of Draw attention away from it, not to it. Old women try to be sexy.
On our wedding night
Darth couldn't wait to get home
and write bad haiku
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
You're babbling on.
Yes, I once married a whore.
But all wives are whores.
Freedom for comfort.
Socially acceptable.
Bring me my damn beer!
by df
They rise and vanish.
Balkan tobacco: smoke rings . . .
Like all our best dreams.
by Poke Smiker of PIPESMOKING
Darth must have married
The great whore of Babylon.
What is in her cup?
by Iokanan of PATMOS
I saw what you did.
Unrelenting prostitute.
Anything for cash.
Sell your fat children
by the kilo to witches
for their greasy soup.
by df
The stench of your cunt
can be smelled across the sea.
Dead fish smell better.
by Darth Bolfin-Danger
Ventriloquism
A lot like cunnilingus
with added flavor
by Winner of Talent Show
"Collaboration"
And all the global buzzwords:
Outcome-Based Bullshit.
by Linguine Manipolution of NEW WORD ORDER
Oh Janis, Janis,
They is mess up the haiku
Janis, make them pay
by Bobby McGee of FREEDUMB
God IS watching YOU
Cut a hole in your Bible
HE won't punish thou
by The Good Book of Ejaculations 24:7
If you masturbate
and God is not there to watch,
then what is the point?
by Darth Figpucker of God is Real! Praise Jesus!
We sell you firework.
We sell back your debt as well.
Dumb American.
by Li Hong Shen of Global Finance Board (that's me in pic)
So . . . Turkmen is Stan
But, is Stan also Turkmen?
What about Satan?
by Sampaku of Pakustan
Trends in ice fishing
Anglers face down on the ice
Ice hole dinks for bait
by Ice Hole Dinks of Discovery Channel
The arthritic thumb
of Henry Winkler is up
So is Fonz's dink
by Jukebox Puncher of Arnold's
I'll do it for free.
But I'm keeping the carcass.
I think you know why.
by Darth Figpucker of The only good human is a dead human.
Threatening to kill?
Not a rational response.
Easily triggered
by Jesus is lard of Respond all you want keyboard warrior, I won't be back.
I want to hire a
Hit man on myself, Haha.
Let the games begin
by YunGB4llsAck of Somewhere
Make love to the shark.
Rough sexual intercourse.
Grab it by the gills.
by Jacques Cousteau of I know it's pride month, but who is more gay, the Fonz or Henry Winkler?
