Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

What does Elon Musk
do for the Forth of July?
Bottle rocket wars?
Haiku # 70815, July 4, 2021 12:00 am ET
by Jeff Bezos
This Fourth of July
Why not stick a firecracker
up inside your bum?
Haiku # 70814, July 3, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by Have a Finger Fucking Fourth of July
You need a big kiss
Pucker up, Darth Figpucker
I'll plant one on ya
Haiku # 70813, July 3, 2021 5:53 am ET
by Venus Fly Cunt of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
According to Darth
The finest cheese in the world
grows under his balls
Haiku # 70812, July 3, 2021 5:47 am ET
by Cheez Balls of Fromunda
Starkitten's asshole
tastes better than any cunt
you've ever eaten.
Haiku # 70810, July 3, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay
Starkitten: she's not
a woman. Really she's a
Fat, scary drag queen.
Haiku # 70809, July 3, 2021 2:23 am ET
by Faking Her Identity of Course
Cops in Oregon.
Find 10 kilos of cocaine.
Warned for bad brake light.
Haiku # 70808, July 3, 2021 1:57 am ET
by I'm moving there, I swear it!
On my wedding night
we watched octopus jap porn
while eating live squid.

How long can squid live
in a human vagina?
Let's ask Mister Owl.
Haiku # 70807, July 3, 2021 1:52 am ET
by df of The best it ever smelled.
Gone to brought one things.
On Chinese things for English
Which are some business!
Haiku # 70806, July 2, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Investments Industry of GUONG DONG Ltd.
Arrest them drug-heads.
Search the car and lock them up.
Damn I love this show.
Haiku # 70805, July 2, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Non-stop Reruns of COPS
Darth's sad wedding night:
Couldn't hold his pencil up
To scrawl some haiku
Haiku # 70804, July 2, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Figpuckered and Flustered of HOLY MATRIMONEY
Vomit inducung
painted ugly toe nails.
Better amputate.
Haiku # 70803, July 2, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by df of Draw attention away from it, not to it. Old women try to be sexy.
On our wedding night
Darth couldn't wait to get home
and write bad haiku
Haiku # 70801, July 2, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
You're babbling on.
Yes, I once married a whore.
But all wives are whores.

Freedom for comfort.
Socially acceptable.
Bring me my damn beer!
Haiku # 70800, July 2, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by df
They rise and vanish.
Balkan tobacco: smoke rings . . .
Like all our best dreams.
Haiku # 70799, July 2, 2021 8:36 am ET
by Poke Smiker of PIPESMOKING
Darth must have married
The great whore of Babylon.
What is in her cup?
Haiku # 70798, July 2, 2021 8:25 am ET
by Iokanan of PATMOS
I saw what you did.
Unrelenting prostitute.
Anything for cash.

Sell your fat children
by the kilo to witches
for their greasy soup.
Haiku # 70797, July 1, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by df
The stench of your cunt
can be smelled across the sea.
Dead fish smell better.
Haiku # 70796, July 1, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Darth Bolfin-Danger
Ventriloquism
A lot like cunnilingus
with added flavor
Haiku # 70795, July 1, 2021 7:01 pm ET
by Winner of Talent Show
"Collaboration"
And all the global buzzwords:
Outcome-Based Bullshit.
Haiku # 70794, June 29, 2021 9:26 pm ET
by Linguine Manipolution of NEW WORD ORDER
Oh Janis, Janis,
They is mess up the haiku
Janis, make them pay
Haiku # 70793, June 29, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Bobby McGee of FREEDUMB
God IS watching YOU
Cut a hole in your Bible
HE won't punish thou
Haiku # 70791, June 29, 2021 2:22 am ET
by The Good Book of Ejaculations 24:7
If you masturbate
and God is not there to watch,
then what is the point?
Haiku # 70790, June 28, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of God is Real! Praise Jesus!
We sell you firework.
We sell back your debt as well.
Dumb American.
Haiku # 70789, June 28, 2021 4:47 pm ET
by Li Hong Shen of Global Finance Board (that's me in pic)
So . . . Turkmen is Stan
But, is Stan also Turkmen?
What about Satan?
Haiku # 70788, June 28, 2021 4:35 pm ET
by Sampaku of Pakustan
Trends in ice fishing
Anglers face down on the ice
Ice hole dinks for bait
Haiku # 70787, June 28, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Ice Hole Dinks of Discovery Channel
The arthritic thumb
of Henry Winkler is up
So is Fonz's dink
Haiku # 70786, June 28, 2021 4:42 am ET
by Jukebox Puncher of Arnold's
I'll do it for free.
But I'm keeping the carcass.
I think you know why.
Haiku # 70784, June 28, 2021 2:34 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The only good human is a dead human.
Threatening to kill?
Not a rational response.
Easily triggered
Haiku # 70783, June 28, 2021 1:24 am ET
by Jesus is lard of Respond all you want keyboard warrior, I won't be back.
I want to hire a
Hit man on myself, Haha.
Let the games begin
Haiku # 70782, June 27, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by YunGB4llsAck of Somewhere
Make love to the shark.
Rough sexual intercourse.
Grab it by the gills.
Haiku # 70781, June 27, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by Jacques Cousteau of I know it's pride month, but who is more gay, the Fonz or Henry Winkler?
Virtue signaling.
STOP your virtue signaling
or I will kill you.
Haiku # 70780, June 27, 2021 4:20 pm ET
by Peaceful Vibes of LIGHT-WORKER
Seriously, lit
is neither hate speech nor spam.
Only you wear veils.
Haiku # 70779, June 27, 2021 4:17 pm ET
by Unveiled Truth of Blinding HAIKU
Janis, Janis, no.
There's no shark. There is no site.
Just haiku. And truth.
Haiku # 70778, June 27, 2021 4:14 pm ET
by Hate Speech of Celestial Realms
Just do it Janis
It is time to shut this down.
The shark has been jumped.
Haiku # 70777, June 27, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Jesus is lard of Seriously there is lit the other than spam and thinly veiled hate speech here
Well consarnit, Clem.
Damn federulz is here too
Spyin' on HAIKU
Haiku # 70776, June 26, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Cointelpro of Appalachian Cabbage-patch
They done did it, Clem.
Turned a gal into a man.
But she's still a he . . .
Haiku # 70775, June 26, 2021 10:55 am ET
by Auntie Natchurl of OZARK FRONT PORCH
Almost forgot: June !
Hey everyone, it's PRIDE month.
Revolting rainbows . . .
Haiku # 70774, June 26, 2021 10:52 am ET
by Rainbow Throne of Almighty God
Don't waste your time here
Go do something productive
Like taking a bath
Haiku # 70773, June 26, 2021 3:20 am ET
by Please....u can smell you from here
Bob Barker's not a dog
Dick Van Dyke's no lesbian
This ain't a poem
Haiku # 70772, June 25, 2021 12:31 am ET
by Haiku Phantom 309 of Haiku Highway
Do you like Nikes?
Of course they are genuine.
No counterfeits here.
Haiku # 70771, June 24, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Www.brandnamesfromchina.com of Beijing
The Chinese pirates
are now pirating haiku,
Faking big brand-names.
Haiku # 70770, June 24, 2021 2:45 pm ET
by Great Red Dragon
Toilet volcano
National Geographic
Hot Lavatory
Haiku # 70769, June 24, 2021 6:33 am ET
by I. Liketoreadinhere of Hot Lavatory
Oh my God, donuts!
How did you know I wanted...
Never mind, who cares.
Haiku # 70768, June 24, 2021 2:01 am ET
by Homer Simpson of Glowing with happiness
I gots to tell y'all:
Issallabout tha HAIKU.
We rollin' wit dat.
Haiku # 70767, June 23, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Worthy Oriental Gentleman of Cathay
Why Dogs Fart So Much
( how YOU can help your buddy)
By the author of:
Haiku # 70766, June 23, 2021 12:52 pm ET
by No More Pussyfarts of New York Times Bestseller List
Sounds like those nightmares
Where your man-parts get severed
But then you wake up
Haiku # 70765, June 21, 2021 9:43 pm ET
by Celestial Guidance of DREAMS
Man painted his dink
Looked like a bearded dragon
Walked it on a leash
Haiku # 70764, June 21, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by Special Report of Philippines
The new arrivals
Cemeterily speaking:
Recent departures.
Haiku # 70762, June 20, 2021 11:54 am ET
by Death as an Airport
Hey cyrillic dolt:
We can't even read your trash.
Go spam elsewhere, fool.
Haiku # 70761, June 19, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by Vladimir Poot of Evil Russkies
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