Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 22 Days and 74125 Haikus later...

Slapped a mosquito.
The bloody stain on the floor.
Artwork of revenge.
Haiku # 70831, July 5, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Feminine napkin socks.
I don't like ice cream.
Well, actually I do.
But not the damn noise.

I guess you call it
Pavlovian aversion.
The loud bells and noise.

When I taste ice cream
my ears throb with aching pain.
Asian shopping malls.
Haiku # 70830, July 5, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Bells and whistles are for dogs.
Lord, how you will dance
when the odd, blue crested pfantz
lays eggs in your pants
Haiku # 70829, July 5, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by That's about enough of these nicknames for your bird
The blue crested pfantz
is a rather odd creature;
no one has seen it.
Haiku # 70828, July 5, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Marlin Perkins of Mutual of Omaha
in your underwear
noticed the snail trails
go wash your panties!
Haiku # 70827, July 5, 2021 6:54 am ET
by Ewwwww
geniuses selling backpacks
that look just like cunts
Haiku # 70826, July 5, 2021 6:50 am ET
by you can fit everything inside of available at
A word to the wise
Don't forget your jimmy hats
when the fireworks start
Haiku # 70825, July 4, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
The square root of cunt
If x is equal to dink
and dink equals dong
Haiku # 70823, July 4, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Genius of Mathematics Department
The Fourth of July.
Biden illegitimate.
Idiots cower.
Haiku # 70822, July 4, 2021 4:08 pm ET
by Programmable Voting Machine of HELL
We need more children
getting their extremities
Haiku # 70821, July 4, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Wan Bang Yu Firework Company. of Beijing
The danger's not from
the firecracker's shock wave,
but the flatus blast.

The ass-meat shrapnel
has one click kill radius
and is quite toxic.
Haiku # 70820, July 4, 2021 4:46 am ET
by You don't want to be anywhere near. of Beruit was nothing.
Resume highlights
Jerking off live dinosaurs
Hawking vitamins
Haiku # 70819, July 4, 2021 1:13 am ET
by Fred Flintstone of Ten million strong ...and growing
In his fantasy,
Jeff Bezos is Lex Luthor.
But who's Superman?
Haiku # 70817, July 4, 2021 12:07 am ET
by Henry Cavil? of that would be effing hilarious if he acted as Lex Lutor in a movie.
With that huge rocket
sticking out of my asshole
I won the "fun run".
Haiku # 70816, July 4, 2021 12:04 am ET
by Fourth of July 5k Race of Jet propelled allowed this year.
What does Elon Musk
do for the Forth of July?
Bottle rocket wars?
Haiku # 70815, July 4, 2021 12:00 am ET
by Jeff Bezos
This Fourth of July
Why not stick a firecracker
up inside your bum?
Haiku # 70814, July 3, 2021 3:46 pm ET
by Have a Finger Fucking Fourth of July
You need a big kiss
Pucker up, Darth Figpucker
I'll plant one on ya
Haiku # 70813, July 3, 2021 5:53 am ET
by Venus Fly Cunt of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
According to Darth
The finest cheese in the world
grows under his balls
Haiku # 70812, July 3, 2021 5:47 am ET
by Cheez Balls of Fromunda
Starkitten's asshole
tastes better than any cunt
you've ever eaten.
Haiku # 70810, July 3, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay
Starkitten: she's not
a woman. Really she's a
Fat, scary drag queen.
Haiku # 70809, July 3, 2021 2:23 am ET
by Faking Her Identity of Course
Cops in Oregon.
Find 10 kilos of cocaine.
Warned for bad brake light.
Haiku # 70808, July 3, 2021 1:57 am ET
by I'm moving there, I swear it!
On my wedding night
we watched octopus jap porn
while eating live squid.

How long can squid live
in a human vagina?
Let's ask Mister Owl.
Haiku # 70807, July 3, 2021 1:52 am ET
by df of The best it ever smelled.
Gone to brought one things.
On Chinese things for English
Which are some business!
Haiku # 70806, July 2, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Investments Industry of GUONG DONG Ltd.
Arrest them drug-heads.
Search the car and lock them up.
Damn I love this show.
Haiku # 70805, July 2, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Non-stop Reruns of COPS
Darth's sad wedding night:
Couldn't hold his pencil up
To scrawl some haiku
Haiku # 70804, July 2, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Figpuckered and Flustered of HOLY MATRIMONEY
Vomit inducung
painted ugly toe nails.
Better amputate.
Haiku # 70803, July 2, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by df of Draw attention away from it, not to it. Old women try to be sexy.
On our wedding night
Darth couldn't wait to get home
and write bad haiku
Haiku # 70801, July 2, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of (We all still love him, but he's just impossible!)
You're babbling on.
Yes, I once married a whore.
But all wives are whores.

Freedom for comfort.
Socially acceptable.
Bring me my damn beer!
Haiku # 70800, July 2, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by df
They rise and vanish.
Balkan tobacco: smoke rings . . .
Like all our best dreams.
Haiku # 70799, July 2, 2021 8:36 am ET
by Poke Smiker of PIPESMOKING
Darth must have married
The great whore of Babylon.
What is in her cup?
Haiku # 70798, July 2, 2021 8:25 am ET
by Iokanan of PATMOS
I saw what you did.
Unrelenting prostitute.
Anything for cash.

Sell your fat children
by the kilo to witches
for their greasy soup.
Haiku # 70797, July 1, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by df
The stench of your cunt
can be smelled across the sea.
Dead fish smell better.
Haiku # 70796, July 1, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Darth Bolfin-Danger
A lot like cunnilingus
with added flavor
Haiku # 70795, July 1, 2021 7:01 pm ET
by Winner of Talent Show
And all the global buzzwords:
Outcome-Based Bullshit.
Haiku # 70794, June 29, 2021 9:26 pm ET
by Linguine Manipolution of NEW WORD ORDER
Oh Janis, Janis,
They is mess up the haiku
Janis, make them pay
Haiku # 70793, June 29, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Bobby McGee of FREEDUMB
God IS watching YOU
Cut a hole in your Bible
HE won't punish thou
Haiku # 70791, June 29, 2021 2:22 am ET
by The Good Book of Ejaculations 24:7
If you masturbate
and God is not there to watch,
then what is the point?
Haiku # 70790, June 28, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of God is Real! Praise Jesus!
We sell you firework.
We sell back your debt as well.
Dumb American.
Haiku # 70789, June 28, 2021 4:47 pm ET
by Li Hong Shen of Global Finance Board (that's me in pic)
So . . . Turkmen is Stan
But, is Stan also Turkmen?
What about Satan?
Haiku # 70788, June 28, 2021 4:35 pm ET
by Sampaku of Pakustan
Trends in ice fishing
Anglers face down on the ice
Ice hole dinks for bait
Haiku # 70787, June 28, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Ice Hole Dinks of Discovery Channel
The arthritic thumb
of Henry Winkler is up
So is Fonz's dink
Haiku # 70786, June 28, 2021 4:42 am ET
by Jukebox Puncher of Arnold's
I'll do it for free.
But I'm keeping the carcass.
I think you know why.
Haiku # 70784, June 28, 2021 2:34 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The only good human is a dead human.
Threatening to kill?
Not a rational response.
Easily triggered
Haiku # 70783, June 28, 2021 1:24 am ET
by Jesus is lard of Respond all you want keyboard warrior, I won't be back.
I want to hire a
Hit man on myself, Haha.
Let the games begin
Haiku # 70782, June 27, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by YunGB4llsAck of Somewhere
Make love to the shark.
Rough sexual intercourse.
Grab it by the gills.
Haiku # 70781, June 27, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by Jacques Cousteau of I know it's pride month, but who is more gay, the Fonz or Henry Winkler?
Virtue signaling.
STOP your virtue signaling
or I will kill you.
Haiku # 70780, June 27, 2021 4:20 pm ET
by Peaceful Vibes of LIGHT-WORKER
Seriously, lit
is neither hate speech nor spam.
Only you wear veils.
Haiku # 70779, June 27, 2021 4:17 pm ET
by Unveiled Truth of Blinding HAIKU
Janis, Janis, no.
There's no shark. There is no site.
Just haiku. And truth.
Haiku # 70778, June 27, 2021 4:14 pm ET
by Hate Speech of Celestial Realms
Just do it Janis
It is time to shut this down.
The shark has been jumped.
Haiku # 70777, June 27, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Jesus is lard of Seriously there is lit the other than spam and thinly veiled hate speech here
Well consarnit, Clem.
Damn federulz is here too
Spyin' on HAIKU
Haiku # 70776, June 26, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Cointelpro of Appalachian Cabbage-patch
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >