Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 313 Days and 72106 Haikus later...

Penis tuxedoes
Why you dashing, dapper dinks!
Pardon, they're penquins
Haiku # 70920, July 12, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by Jerker of Turtles
The red popsicle:
A hammer and popsicle
Frozen commie treat
Haiku # 70918, July 12, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by Leon Lenin of ARKANGELSK
The popsicle's gone
Victims of power outage
Those little poets!
Haiku # 70917, July 12, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Hurry up, Darth of Crank out some more
I want in on that
Octopus Hug-a-thon
Ladies get Free Drinks
Haiku # 70916, July 12, 2021 5:48 am ET
by Noticer of Seashells of Dlver Down
I just figured out
I was writing here way back
in ninety-seven.
Haiku # 70915, July 12, 2021 4:28 am ET
by Jesus, I'm old.
I to you will remember it! I will pay off with you!
Haiku # 70912, July 12, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Scottylox of Kyrgyzstan
You commit an error. I can defend the position. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
Haiku # 70911, July 12, 2021 3:26 am ET
by Kevinarcaw of Turkey
Vasectomy, yes.
I have a sperm popsicle
to repopulate.

Just imagine it.
A billion new Figpuckers
after World War III.

If you don't eat it,
high one night after Netflix.
Frozen protein treat.
Haiku # 70910, July 12, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Sith happens.
You told me you did
a self vasectomy, Darth
I just see a dick
Haiku # 70908, July 12, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of All his exes give him hexes
I bought your children
Turns out they are sea monkeys
Radioactive
Haiku # 70907, July 12, 2021 12:22 am ET
by Noticer of Fukushima Fuckers
I sold my children.
Now I live under a bridge.
Huffing paint thinner.

It's a better life.
But now I have no excuse
to play at playgrounds.

What was I thinking?
This world's full of dirty whores.
I'll just make some more.
Haiku # 70906, July 12, 2021 12:14 am ET
by Planned Parenthood. of In The Rear.
Try Ben & Jerry's
"Cherry Garcia" ice cream
after opium.

It's like finding God.
First you have to fight dragons.
Then raped by Care Bears.
Haiku # 70905, July 12, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Rainbow marshmallow cream.
Bob Dylan will burn!
So will Jerry Garcia.
Goddamn drug culture.
Haiku # 70904, July 11, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Old school fuddy duddy fusspot conservative.
So was Dylan saved?
Or another crypto-Jew...
It makes you wonder.
Haiku # 70903, July 11, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Robbie Zimmerman of DULUTH
"Clusters of black holes"
pops up in my Google feed.
Relevant to me?
Haiku # 70902, July 11, 2021 8:23 pm ET
by Oh, yeah, I get it now.
Noticer is quite
the prophalactic poet.
Sterile, large volume.
Haiku # 70901, July 11, 2021 7:22 pm ET
by And covers everything.
That means real haiku.
Boner pill and sex chat spam,
that stuff doesn't count.
Haiku # 70900, July 11, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by So, about 65K haiku now of 935000 haiku to go. Noticer can do that in a week.
I cannot decide.
Quantity or quality.
Poop pee fart boogers.
Haiku # 70899, July 11, 2021 7:13 pm ET
by We have to get it up to 1M haiku of before Janis pulls the plug.
The matchless message, is interesting to me :)
Haiku # 70898, July 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET
by CarlosFub of Switzerland
aye bonnie covid
here we are back in loch doon
and it's groundhog day
Haiku # 70896, July 11, 2021 6:48 am ET
by ash
Darnell Figpucker
seated at his abacus
A load in his pants
Haiku # 70894, July 11, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Do I have to go to school, mom? of Math Class stinx
Sorry for taking
Your wallet and credit cards
after you passed out
Haiku # 70893, July 11, 2021 2:37 am ET
by Don't even think of calling the police
My apologies
Sorry about all of this
I beg your pardon
Haiku # 70892, July 11, 2021 2:32 am ET
by Paula G.
Now all is clear, many thanks for the information.
Haiku # 70891, July 11, 2021 1:31 am ET
by DarnellVIamp of Sri Lanka
I drive trucks long haul
Naturally, I piss in jugs
They dot the highways
Haiku # 70890, July 10, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by Amber Waves of Piss
Beauregard the dog
sniffing the Hee Haw Honeys
Hmmm. . fart or hump legs?
Haiku # 70889, July 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Decider of Decisions
Laboratory
Working on miracle drink
Everlasting hard ons!
Haiku # 70888, July 10, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Scientist of Science
All of y'all crackers.
Bunch of stoned wheat thins with cheese.
You dumb-ass hors-d'oeuvres.
Haiku # 70887, July 10, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Duc de Berry of Tres Riches Heures
Goddamn you racists.
Who you callin' a cracker?!
I'm a sweet cookie!

I'll write Nabisco.
Get them to change that rude word.
Cookies, not "crackers".
Haiku # 70886, July 10, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by The easily broken giraffe.
Your remote would work
if you'd not swap batteries
for your huge dildo.
Haiku # 70885, July 10, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Enticer of pee trails.
This rhinoceros
Fucking a broken tiger
Animal Crackers
Haiku # 70884, July 10, 2021 5:22 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Fecal Cyclone Watch
Seek shelter on higher ground
Watch for corn hailstones
Haiku # 70882, July 10, 2021 12:44 am ET
by International Association of Weathermen/Mathematicians with abnormally large genitals
The whirling dervish
experienced a sudden
bad diarrhea
Haiku # 70881, July 10, 2021 12:38 am ET
by Stain of Poop
Tom Bosley, in Hell
Flames lapping his hangdog face
Shouldn't have fucked goats
Haiku # 70880, July 9, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Billy of Undisclosed barn location
Do you think cavemen
had stinkier farts than us?
Back up your theory
Haiku # 70879, July 9, 2021 10:49 pm ET
by Molecules of Fun
The Commercial Break
Should I give myself a wank?
Or go fix a snack?
Haiku # 70878, July 9, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Cheez Balls of Ass on sofa crack
And now it's time for
Cephalopod Trivia
with your host, Mush-head
Haiku # 70877, July 9, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Chicken of Sea
And now some input
from celebrity birthmark
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku # 70876, July 9, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by I. Fartoffen of Holler
You: fix my remote.
Reprogram the Goddamn thing.
Needs some batteries.
Haiku # 70875, July 9, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by Tech Trials of THE MODERN WHIRLED
God, I wish they'd die.
This is getting out of hand.
Posts need approval.
Haiku # 70874, July 9, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by Submit the poem, it gets reviewed, then approved for posting. of Thus spam is no more. Janis should sleep with me.
When did you last have
a virtual reach-around
from a sexting site?
Haiku # 70870, July 9, 2021 5:32 am ET
by Well, that's too long! of Extra spice chili.
Watch transvestites free!
Stalactites and stalagmites!
All hang out in caves!
Haiku # 70869, July 9, 2021 5:29 am ET
by Perplexing sexting. of How do you "identify"?
I have a cheese dick
It looks like rancid Gouda
And tastes like it too
Haiku # 70866, July 8, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by jim of Pants
They are selling gold
leaf covered elephant poop
mounted on oak plaques.

I'm holding out for
gold plated celebrity poo
Kardashian kit.

Just like Pokemon,
it's addicting, pointless, and
gotta catch 'em all.
Haiku # 70864, July 8, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by The Baldwin poo collection is next! of Then the Kardsashians, but everyone has that already.
Is it Viagra?
The modern blue wonder pill?
Brings on the stiffy
Haiku # 70863, July 8, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Helping Hand of From the people who brought you Furrburger Helper
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
Haiku # 70862, July 8, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
Haiku # 70861, July 8, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
I'll sell you this kiss
It's s big wet sloppy dog kiss
We'll see how that goes
Haiku # 70857, July 7, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Labia of Canine
I don't mind the spam,
but sell me something useful...
or entertaining.
Haiku # 70856, July 7, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by entertain us of entered anus
I will soon find you.
And I'm going to kill you.
And no one will care.
Haiku # 70854, July 7, 2021 8:46 am ET
by And I'm a robot.
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