Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 339 Days and 72781 Haikus later...

Darnell Figpucker
seated at his abacus
A load in his pants
Haiku # 70894, July 11, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Do I have to go to school, mom? of Math Class stinx
Sorry for taking
Your wallet and credit cards
after you passed out
Haiku # 70893, July 11, 2021 2:37 am ET
by Don't even think of calling the police
My apologies
Sorry about all of this
I beg your pardon
Haiku # 70892, July 11, 2021 2:32 am ET
by Paula G.
Now all is clear, many thanks for the information.
Haiku # 70891, July 11, 2021 1:31 am ET
by DarnellVIamp of Sri Lanka
I drive trucks long haul
Naturally, I piss in jugs
They dot the highways
Haiku # 70890, July 10, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by Amber Waves of Piss
Beauregard the dog
sniffing the Hee Haw Honeys
Hmmm. . fart or hump legs?
Haiku # 70889, July 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Decider of Decisions
Laboratory
Working on miracle drink
Everlasting hard ons!
Haiku # 70888, July 10, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Scientist of Science
All of y'all crackers.
Bunch of stoned wheat thins with cheese.
You dumb-ass hors-d'oeuvres.
Haiku # 70887, July 10, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Duc de Berry of Tres Riches Heures
Goddamn you racists.
Who you callin' a cracker?!
I'm a sweet cookie!

I'll write Nabisco.
Get them to change that rude word.
Cookies, not "crackers".
Haiku # 70886, July 10, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by The easily broken giraffe.
Your remote would work
if you'd not swap batteries
for your huge dildo.
Haiku # 70885, July 10, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Enticer of pee trails.
This rhinoceros
Fucking a broken tiger
Animal Crackers
Haiku # 70884, July 10, 2021 5:22 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Fecal Cyclone Watch
Seek shelter on higher ground
Watch for corn hailstones
Haiku # 70882, July 10, 2021 12:44 am ET
by International Association of Weathermen/Mathematicians with abnormally large genitals
The whirling dervish
experienced a sudden
bad diarrhea
Haiku # 70881, July 10, 2021 12:38 am ET
by Stain of Poop
Tom Bosley, in Hell
Flames lapping his hangdog face
Shouldn't have fucked goats
Haiku # 70880, July 9, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Billy of Undisclosed barn location
Do you think cavemen
had stinkier farts than us?
Back up your theory
Haiku # 70879, July 9, 2021 10:49 pm ET
by Molecules of Fun
The Commercial Break
Should I give myself a wank?
Or go fix a snack?
Haiku # 70878, July 9, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Cheez Balls of Ass on sofa crack
And now it's time for
Cephalopod Trivia
with your host, Mush-head
Haiku # 70877, July 9, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Chicken of Sea
And now some input
from celebrity birthmark
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku # 70876, July 9, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by I. Fartoffen of Holler
You: fix my remote.
Reprogram the Goddamn thing.
Needs some batteries.
Haiku # 70875, July 9, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by Tech Trials of THE MODERN WHIRLED
God, I wish they'd die.
This is getting out of hand.
Posts need approval.
Haiku # 70874, July 9, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by Submit the poem, it gets reviewed, then approved for posting. of Thus spam is no more. Janis should sleep with me.
When did you last have
a virtual reach-around
from a sexting site?
Haiku # 70870, July 9, 2021 5:32 am ET
by Well, that's too long! of Extra spice chili.
Watch transvestites free!
Stalactites and stalagmites!
All hang out in caves!
Haiku # 70869, July 9, 2021 5:29 am ET
by Perplexing sexting. of How do you "identify"?
I have a cheese dick
It looks like rancid Gouda
And tastes like it too
Haiku # 70866, July 8, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by jim of Pants
They are selling gold
leaf covered elephant poop
mounted on oak plaques.

I'm holding out for
gold plated celebrity poo
Kardashian kit.

Just like Pokemon,
it's addicting, pointless, and
gotta catch 'em all.
Haiku # 70864, July 8, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by The Baldwin poo collection is next! of Then the Kardsashians, but everyone has that already.
Is it Viagra?
The modern blue wonder pill?
Brings on the stiffy
Haiku # 70863, July 8, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Helping Hand of From the people who brought you Furrburger Helper
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
Haiku # 70862, July 8, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
Your product: worthless.
Your poetic sense is worse.
Your muse is ugly.
Haiku # 70861, July 8, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Lyrical Poet of COMMODIFIED, Inc.
I'll sell you this kiss
It's s big wet sloppy dog kiss
We'll see how that goes
Haiku # 70857, July 7, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Labia of Canine
I don't mind the spam,
but sell me something useful...
or entertaining.
Haiku # 70856, July 7, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by entertain us of entered anus
I will soon find you.
And I'm going to kill you.
And no one will care.
Haiku # 70854, July 7, 2021 8:46 am ET
by And I'm a robot.
when you make the clang
you reveal that manic thang
wang dang slang kerbang
Haiku # 70853, July 7, 2021 8:44 am ET
by ash
Find this on YouTube:
Fart Inhaler Poetry.
You'll be glad you did.
Haiku # 70852, July 7, 2021 5:34 am ET
by If I were an animal, I'd want to be a bear. of They're cute.
I've been vaxed and vexed.
Good soldiers follow odors.
It's the microchip.
Haiku # 70851, July 7, 2021 4:38 am ET
by I think I got a bad batch. of Just like the acid I took.
Geese grease cease lease fleece.
Beef reef grief leaf queef belief.
Balot pollute cute.
Haiku # 70850, July 7, 2021 4:35 am ET
by "Raw balot" is kind of a contradiction. of Like a raw wedding cake is not a wedding cake, it's just batter. Pitter patter splatter.
You got me all wrong.
I'm not a mathematician,
just a dirty whore.
Haiku # 70849, July 7, 2021 4:27 am ET
by Pay me, I'll do it. of Anything you want. Yes, that too.
Punching sides of beef
Guzzling raw balot egg drinks
Darth vs Haiku
Haiku # 70848, July 7, 2021 12:46 am ET
by Down for the count of I mean down on the mathematician
Filling meat orders
Like the list in The Shining
but for cannibals
Haiku # 70847, July 7, 2021 12:40 am ET
by Leg of Longpig
Just outside your door
Nature is getting it on
(Inside, Darth feeds geese)
Haiku # 70846, July 6, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Some just won't get vaxed
Increasing their odds of death
I'm okay with that
Haiku # 70845, July 6, 2021 3:04 pm ET
by Thinning the stupid out of the gene pool
mcdonalds is near
just past the starving children
should i torment them
Haiku # 70844, July 6, 2021 8:51 am ET
by you know like for fun
the halls smell like poo
the hotel swarms with gay men
and the bar is closed
Haiku # 70843, July 6, 2021 8:44 am ET
by of
i dont like using
periods apostrophes
commas and the like
Haiku # 70842, July 6, 2021 8:42 am ET
by of
asteroids coming
corona doesnt matter
we all go splatter
Haiku # 70841, July 6, 2021 8:40 am ET
by of
dont use alcohol
for sanitizing your hands
bums lick your fingers
Haiku # 70840, July 6, 2021 8:36 am ET
by the bums bums with rums
one million dollars
that isn't too much to ask
state sponsored sex change
Haiku # 70839, July 6, 2021 8:32 am ET
by spare some change
Skid Marks?! I NEVER!...
Well, not since using bidets.
Squeaky clean anus.
Haiku # 70838, July 6, 2021 2:19 am ET
by Clean enough to eat off it!
A prayer for Darth
Blessed be thy Fruit of the Loom
No skid marks this week
Haiku # 70837, July 6, 2021 12:40 am ET
by He doesn't use toilet paper of Mathematics Department
Wrap it in the flag
and fuck it for Old Glory!
Make it cry "Uncle!"
Haiku # 70836, July 6, 2021 12:17 am ET
by Uncle Sam of Follow the red, white and blue cum stains
God, Guns, Guts, Glory.
Lady Gaga goes PornHub.
Gratifying goo.
Haiku # 70835, July 5, 2021 11:48 pm ET
by Amazing Grace
Beer and BBQ.
Queen Elizabeth's fake nudes.
Proud Founding Fathers.
Haiku # 70834, July 5, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by Farth of Poo-lie of Outhouse by the lake.
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