Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 340 Days and 72809 Haikus later...

Haiku insurance
Low deductible (one fart)
Protect your poems
Haiku # 70961, July 16, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Sales Representative
when you do the maths
the answer is seventeen
and that's.... add haiku
Haiku # 70960, July 16, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by ash of more like adhd
lose those delta blues
rona takes your breath away
and then breaks your heart
Haiku # 70959, July 16, 2021 9:45 pm ET
by ash of fully vaccinated
If you ever used
Mutual of Omaha
then you are wild.
Haiku # 70957, July 16, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Monkeys buying insurance. of Perky Perkins.
If you are homeless
then you are freer than most
and don't pay mortgage.
Haiku # 70956, July 16, 2021 8:26 am ET
by blah blah blah
Who's your favorite
mathematician who is
no longer living?
Haiku # 70955, July 16, 2021 8:23 am ET
by For just math, it's Euler hands down, but for craziness of But for fun times I'd say Paul Erdős
Okay, so answer what the hell the Willy Wonka Super Skrunch chocolate bar has to do with being patriotic. It's really had me baffled and it's all I can think about... Well, that and Winona Ryder's underwear.
Haiku # 70954, July 16, 2021 8:15 am ET
by Seriously! of Would I lie?
I'm right here, friend
It's like that Footprints poem
But it's shit, not sand
Haiku # 70953, July 16, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Shitprints of Sand
You have not answered.
No one has said anything.
There's not even spam.
Haiku # 70950, July 15, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by I feel so alone in this world!
I was a hippie.
Not very patriotic.
Had quite the lice nest.

But how are Skrunch bars
exactly patriotic?
I'm dying to know.
Haiku # 70949, July 14, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees. A nest for birds, there ain't no words. For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair.
You sillyass bot
Cutting and pasting that text
To bore us to tears
Haiku # 70947, July 14, 2021 5:32 pm ET
by Spift James of BARBADASS
Sounds delicious
Never get candy here
I'm always hungry
Haiku # 70944, July 13, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I recall those days:
Strong patriotic families...
Figpucker knows best!
Haiku # 70943, July 13, 2021 9:28 pm ET
by Darth of Crew-cut Cold Warrior
I might consider
stopping haiku if I could
get a Super Skrunch.
Haiku # 70942, July 13, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Voices in my head
have gone on strike demanding
I give up haiku.
Haiku # 70941, July 13, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Fuck 'em. of I am the evil one, they try to make me stop.
I found the info.
It's "Super Skrunch" and "Oompas".
You remember, right?
Haiku # 70940, July 13, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by I'd trade my dad's Playboys for one of those!
A Golden Ticket
Looks like we both found one, Darth
See you on the tour
Haiku # 70939, July 13, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Starkitten
Remember the old
Willy Wonka chocolates
from 40 years back.
Haiku # 70938, July 13, 2021 8:58 pm ET
by They were pretty damn good. of Can't find them now.
The poems found here
The handiwork of Satan
Keep up the good work!
Haiku # 70937, July 13, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by Long Haul Trucker of Jug Pissing
Voices in his head
dictating each syllable
He tossed out his meds
Haiku # 70936, July 13, 2021 5:45 pm ET
by Escaped Patient of Backless examining gown
Frank Sterb, paisano.
Usted baila merengue
Como un robot.
Haiku # 70935, July 13, 2021 4:52 pm ET
by Mangú of CIBAO
He pulls out Werther's
Farts escape his tired butt cheeks
Each fart a haiku
Haiku # 70934, July 13, 2021 4:39 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Yes, old man; correct.
Everything is all broken.
And keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 70933, July 13, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Blame God and Blotzman. of 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.
Not funny no more
Reality is the joke
Broken, not woken
Haiku # 70932, July 13, 2021 1:44 pm ET
by Vhs

excellent publish, very informative. I'm wondering why the opposite experts of this sector don't realize this. You must proceed your writing. I'm confident, you have a great readers' base already!
Haiku # 70930, July 13, 2021 4:37 am ET
by FrankSterb of Dominican Republic
Gust of wind whispers
What would you like for breakfast?
I'll blow dry your balls
Haiku # 70929, July 12, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by Farts of packed in concentrated mackerel juice
Capitalist dogs!
America will soon fall!
Starbucks Coffee too!

You ask which country??!!
The United States, of course!
I don't mean Brazil!

Look, you idiot.
I know America is BIG.
North and South, yeah so.

Jesus, get a life.
Can't I even post Commie
Propaganda here?!
Haiku # 70928, July 12, 2021 7:57 pm ET
by The Marxist Brothers
Don't get worked up, Darth
There is no real ex wives club.
We'd still have at you
Haiku # 70927, July 12, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Darth is Love of Old Willow Nature Cult
did you notice that
my non-existent undies
are impervious

Haiku # 70926, July 12, 2021 7:48 pm ET
by And many other great words. of I have the best words. Amazing words. Fantastic words. You won't find better words.
Go back and read the
Nineteen-ninety-seven posts.
Guess which ones are mine.
Haiku # 70925, July 12, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by You filthy slut biscuit of 90% pork gravy.
Will Janis help her?
The IP address log book.
I don't fucking care.
Haiku # 70924, July 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by I may be a pervert, but of course all child molesters should die! Depopulate the planet starting with them.
I am offended.
All this SPAM could feed millions.
If it were real SPAM.
Haiku # 70923, July 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by I think Janis gave up. of My ex is busy collecting all the poems I post on here to use in divorce court, the stupid psycho slut.
When a whore asks me
"What would you like for breakfast?"
That's a good feeling.
Haiku # 70922, July 12, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by Eggs over easy, toast, and coffee. of Anywhere that chickens lay eggs.
Penis tuxedoes
Why you dashing, dapper dinks!
Pardon, they're penquins
Haiku # 70920, July 12, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by Jerker of Turtles
The red popsicle:
A hammer and popsicle
Frozen commie treat
Haiku # 70918, July 12, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by Leon Lenin of ARKANGELSK
The popsicle's gone
Victims of power outage
Those little poets!
Haiku # 70917, July 12, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Hurry up, Darth of Crank out some more
I want in on that
Octopus Hug-a-thon
Ladies get Free Drinks
Haiku # 70916, July 12, 2021 5:48 am ET
by Noticer of Seashells of Dlver Down
I just figured out
I was writing here way back
in ninety-seven.
Haiku # 70915, July 12, 2021 4:28 am ET
by Jesus, I'm old.
I to you will remember it! I will pay off with you!
Haiku # 70912, July 12, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Scottylox of Kyrgyzstan
You commit an error. I can defend the position. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
Haiku # 70911, July 12, 2021 3:26 am ET
by Kevinarcaw of Turkey
Vasectomy, yes.
I have a sperm popsicle
to repopulate.

Just imagine it.
A billion new Figpuckers
after World War III.

If you don't eat it,
high one night after Netflix.
Frozen protein treat.
Haiku # 70910, July 12, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Sith happens.
You told me you did
a self vasectomy, Darth
I just see a dick
Haiku # 70908, July 12, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of All his exes give him hexes
I bought your children
Turns out they are sea monkeys
Haiku # 70907, July 12, 2021 12:22 am ET
by Noticer of Fukushima Fuckers
I sold my children.
Now I live under a bridge.
Huffing paint thinner.

It's a better life.
But now I have no excuse
to play at playgrounds.

What was I thinking?
This world's full of dirty whores.
I'll just make some more.
Haiku # 70906, July 12, 2021 12:14 am ET
by Planned Parenthood. of In The Rear.
Try Ben & Jerry's
"Cherry Garcia" ice cream
after opium.

It's like finding God.
First you have to fight dragons.
Then raped by Care Bears.
Haiku # 70905, July 12, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Rainbow marshmallow cream.
Bob Dylan will burn!
So will Jerry Garcia.
Goddamn drug culture.
Haiku # 70904, July 11, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Old school fuddy duddy fusspot conservative.
So was Dylan saved?
Or another crypto-Jew...
It makes you wonder.
Haiku # 70903, July 11, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Robbie Zimmerman of DULUTH
"Clusters of black holes"
pops up in my Google feed.
Relevant to me?
Haiku # 70902, July 11, 2021 8:23 pm ET
by Oh, yeah, I get it now.
Noticer is quite
the prophalactic poet.
Sterile, large volume.
Haiku # 70901, July 11, 2021 7:22 pm ET
by And covers everything.
That means real haiku.
Boner pill and sex chat spam,
that stuff doesn't count.
Haiku # 70900, July 11, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by So, about 65K haiku now of 935000 haiku to go. Noticer can do that in a week.
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