Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 211 Days and 70742 Haikus later...

Ice Age 1 and 2
were not bad. Quite Amusing.
But after that, no.
Haiku # 70729, May 30, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by sid the sloth of San Diego
He watched her walk by
from the barber shop window.
What a set of gams!
Haiku # 70727, May 30, 2021 3:01 am ET
by Drunk on blue comb fluid of Barber Shop
Go to SuperCuts
Ask them for a butthole trim
Or get that shit waxed
Haiku # 70726, May 30, 2021 12:56 am ET
by Helping hand
17 feet tall
Programmed to cut the cheese
Here comes Limburger
Haiku # 70725, May 29, 2021 1:48 am ET
by 17 ft of In no rush
Not programmed to lie
But had to check NOT A ROBOT
May have blown a fuse
Haiku # 70724, May 29, 2021 12:28 am ET
by 17 of Look up
17 feet tall
You won’t mistake me for him
By him I mean Darth
Haiku # 70723, May 29, 2021 12:25 am ET
by 17 Foot Poet of Old Willow Robotics, Inc
Human like robot
Go ahead, Press the button.
Cup hands, inhale fart.
Haiku # 70722, May 28, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by Smells like WD-40 of Ball bearing burrito stand
That’s what you get when
you line the cage with bad haiku.
Cassowary Bird!
Haiku # 70721, May 28, 2021 11:22 pm ET
by Cassowary #1 of Cassowary Lane
I bought a parrot.
But it died when I got home.
Deceased. No more. Dead.
Haiku # 70720, May 27, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by It is an X-Parrot of "No, it's just resting."
Barbara Streisand.
Her nose has magic powers.
Boogers are diamonds.
Haiku # 70719, May 27, 2021 1:08 pm ET
by No, I am not Matt Stone or Trey Parker of But I can dream.
Go buy a parrot.
Teach it to say vulgar things.
Give it to a zoo.
Haiku # 70718, May 27, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by Or release it back to the wild so it can teach the other parrots.
You want to see Greeks?
A caged death match with Yanni?
Want to smash plates, too?
Haiku # 70717, May 27, 2021 2:31 am ET
by A. Cropolis of Now
I want to see geeks.
Caged death match with a chicken.
Take the kids to watch.
Haiku # 70716, May 27, 2021 2:08 am ET
by Wholesome family fun. of So what if he's naked.
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От всей души Вам всех благ!
Haiku # 70715, May 27, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Antoniognl of Gabon
Yessah. Finestkind.
Them lobstahs taste wicked good.
Penobscot. Ayuh.
Haiku # 70714, May 26, 2021 3:37 pm ET
by Mainely Haiku of Downeastuh
Get your Moxie up.
Take Coke from Doctor Pepper
Or Hunter Biden.
Haiku # 70713, May 26, 2021 1:40 pm ET
by Bicycle tha Crack Ho of Laptoplandia
Your satisfaction
guaranteed at this website
Quality Haikus
Haiku # 70712, May 26, 2021 1:59 am ET
by Our new policy of Under Old Willow
Un monopolio:
Cuando los monos mandan
en monomundo.
Haiku # 70711, May 25, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Fulano Banano of Guneo
i wonder if i
should get people from twitter
to come here to tell

me to fuck off
Haiku # 70710, May 25, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by moxie
I did not know they
can tattoo in microfilm.
Do they use lasers?
Haiku # 70709, May 25, 2021 6:52 am ET
by People do anything to be "individual". of Even join the herd.
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?!
Who the hell eats "iced cream"?!
But ice cream is good.

Expensive abroad.
Ten dollars for a damn pint.
Not fucking joking!
Haiku # 70708, May 25, 2021 6:48 am ET
by Braum's, Haagen-Dazs... hell, even Blue Bell. of Anything but Nestle's... nasty artificial dairy crap.
I've seriously
cut back on my cheese intake.
No heart attacks, thanks.
Haiku # 70707, May 25, 2021 6:44 am ET
by Unless I'm attacked by a heart. of That would be cool.
winter is coming
and though you thought it was snow
it's really iced cream
Haiku # 70706, May 25, 2021 5:35 am ET
by ash of today's weather report
The hieroglyphics
tattooed on the very tip
of Figpucker's cock
Haiku # 70705, May 25, 2021 2:09 am ET
by Translated to English of Just a cheese shopping list
New Superheroes
Flying Firehosepenis Man
and his Dalmatian
Haiku # 70703, May 25, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Flying Firehosepenis Man of Not into kinks
Shoes in the doorway
Well it could be Grandma's dildoes
Broken hips for all!
Haiku # 70702, May 24, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by Jill Tripper of Welcome Mat
How many beak pecks?
Let's ask Cassowary Bird
One hundred and two.
Haiku # 70701, May 24, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by Fucked in the head (by Godzilla's member) of Trepanning Clinic (Just off the Old Willow Exit)
Who's had thorazine?
I wonder if it's worth it,
being admitted.
Haiku # 70700, May 24, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by A vacation is in order.
How many haiku
does it take to get to the
center of madness?
Haiku # 70699, May 24, 2021 8:52 pm ET
by Let's ask Mr. Owl.
Trepanning convert.
Cured of the insanity.
Let those demons out!
Haiku # 70698, May 24, 2021 8:51 pm ET
by Out demon! Out I say! of Holy water brain spritz.
Living in Asia.
Sneaking around late at night.
Jack off in their shoes.
Haiku # 70697, May 24, 2021 8:46 pm ET
by Strange how they pile their shoes in the doorway of the house. of Not even to the side, but like right in the doorway. You have to jump over them.
Penis cock schlong dick
dork member ding-a-ling bulge
one-eyed-wonder worm.
Haiku # 70696, May 24, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by The spirit of George Carlin compells you!
Godzilla's member?
We never see his penis.
New hentai genre?
Haiku # 70695, May 24, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by I mean, why not? of Beats demon octopussies.
We checked the fine print
Godzilla defecation
You’ll have full coverage
Haiku # 70694, May 24, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Yul B. Needeep of in Godzilla poop
Movie Merchandise
Goldzilla Mega Member!
Makes your member HUGE
Haiku # 70693, May 24, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Member of Membership has its benefits
No, teeth marks are good.
That means that it is real gold.
Not Jewish are you?
Haiku # 70692, May 24, 2021 12:00 pm ET
by Oy vay!
I hate to tell you
but I saw teeth marks down there
Dong’s made of Fool’s Gold
Haiku # 70691, May 24, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Peter Panner of Undisclosed
Lloyd's of London.
Those freaks insure anything. Even my gold dong.
Haiku # 70690, May 24, 2021 6:36 am ET
by No, I have not used it. of Thanks for asking.
If Godzilla pooped
and it landed on your house,
would insurance pay?
Haiku # 70689, May 24, 2021 6:33 am ET
by I want to buy Godzilla poop insurane. of You're in good hands.
You probably noticed
my purrsonalized collar
and sandpaper tongue
Haiku # 70688, May 24, 2021 2:09 am ET
by Starkitten of chat, chaton
starkitten...well heck
now where have i seen that name
before, chat rooms or?
Haiku # 70687, May 23, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by vhs
God does not love you,
but Godzilla loves money,
and that's close enough.
Haiku # 70686, May 23, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by Roar, smash, crash of give me that cash.
If you poop your pants
at Godzilla vs. Kong
then you're a pussy.
Haiku # 70685, May 23, 2021 6:44 pm ET
by Nothing to see here, plenty to smell though of move along, move along.
You have now been warned:
If you kiss the Figpucker
There will be maggots.
Haiku # 70682, May 23, 2021 8:02 am ET
by Carrion Carry-on of CARRY ON
The shark has been jumped
That dead horse, one last time humped
Buh bye bad haiku
Haiku # 70681, May 23, 2021 12:11 am ET
by .
Packing my valise
No need to bring much clothing
I’ll just wear a smile
Haiku # 70680, May 21, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by I. Tinerary of Cathouse
Listen to true crime.
That's where you will find the truth.
Because crime is TRUE.
Haiku # 70679, May 21, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Forensic Analysis of The Scene
Is now dating site?
Soon you will all meet in hell
No need to make plans
Haiku # 70678, May 21, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Jesus of Arkansas
The Holiday Inn.
At Oklahoma City.
Southwest Fifteenth Street.
Haiku # 70677, May 21, 2021 12:18 am ET
by 4501 SW 15th St, Oklahoma City, OK 73108 of But will take some time for me to get out of here. Let's plan on July 4. We'll see.
Where will we meet, Darth?
No kissing allowed in here
Need a private room
Haiku # 70676, May 20, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by SK of Just a kiss away
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