Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 314 Days and 76707 Haiku later...

Un monopolio:
Cuando los monos mandan
en monomundo.
Haiku # 70711, May 25, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Fulano Banano of Guneo
i wonder if i
should get people from twitter
to come here to tell

me to fuck off
Haiku # 70710, May 25, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by moxie
I did not know they
can tattoo in microfilm.
Do they use lasers?
Haiku # 70709, May 25, 2021 6:52 am ET
by People do anything to be "individual". of Even join the herd.
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?!
Who the hell eats "iced cream"?!
But ice cream is good.

Expensive abroad.
Ten dollars for a damn pint.
Not fucking joking!
Haiku # 70708, May 25, 2021 6:48 am ET
by Braum's, Haagen-Dazs... hell, even Blue Bell. of Anything but Nestle's... nasty artificial dairy crap.
I've seriously
cut back on my cheese intake.
No heart attacks, thanks.
Haiku # 70707, May 25, 2021 6:44 am ET
by Unless I'm attacked by a heart. of That would be cool.
winter is coming
and though you thought it was snow
it's really iced cream
Haiku # 70706, May 25, 2021 5:35 am ET
by ash of today's weather report
The hieroglyphics
tattooed on the very tip
of Figpucker's cock
Haiku # 70705, May 25, 2021 2:09 am ET
by Translated to English of Just a cheese shopping list
New Superheroes
Flying Firehosepenis Man
and his Dalmatian
Haiku # 70703, May 25, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Flying Firehosepenis Man of Not into kinks
Shoes in the doorway
Well it could be Grandma's dildoes
Broken hips for all!
Haiku # 70702, May 24, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by Jill Tripper of Welcome Mat
How many beak pecks?
Let's ask Cassowary Bird
One hundred and two.
Haiku # 70701, May 24, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by Fucked in the head (by Godzilla's member) of Trepanning Clinic (Just off the Old Willow Exit)
Who's had thorazine?
I wonder if it's worth it,
being admitted.
Haiku # 70700, May 24, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by A vacation is in order.
How many haiku
does it take to get to the
center of madness?
Haiku # 70699, May 24, 2021 8:52 pm ET
by Let's ask Mr. Owl.
Trepanning convert.
Cured of the insanity.
Let those demons out!
Haiku # 70698, May 24, 2021 8:51 pm ET
by Out demon! Out I say! of Holy water brain spritz.
Living in Asia.
Sneaking around late at night.
Jack off in their shoes.
Haiku # 70697, May 24, 2021 8:46 pm ET
by Strange how they pile their shoes in the doorway of the house. of Not even to the side, but like right in the doorway. You have to jump over them.
Penis cock schlong dick
dork member ding-a-ling bulge
one-eyed-wonder worm.
Haiku # 70696, May 24, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by The spirit of George Carlin compells you!
Godzilla's member?
We never see his penis.
New hentai genre?
Haiku # 70695, May 24, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by I mean, why not? of Beats demon octopussies.
We checked the fine print
Godzilla defecation
You’ll have full coverage
Haiku # 70694, May 24, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Yul B. Needeep of in Godzilla poop
Movie Merchandise
Goldzilla Mega Member!
Makes your member HUGE
Haiku # 70693, May 24, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Member of Membership has its benefits
No, teeth marks are good.
That means that it is real gold.
Not Jewish are you?
Haiku # 70692, May 24, 2021 12:00 pm ET
by Oy vay!
I hate to tell you
but I saw teeth marks down there
Dong’s made of Fool’s Gold
Haiku # 70691, May 24, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Peter Panner of Undisclosed
Lloyd's of London.
Those freaks insure anything. Even my gold dong.
Haiku # 70690, May 24, 2021 6:36 am ET
by No, I have not used it. of Thanks for asking.
If Godzilla pooped
and it landed on your house,
would insurance pay?
Haiku # 70689, May 24, 2021 6:33 am ET
by I want to buy Godzilla poop insurane. of You're in good hands.
You probably noticed
my purrsonalized collar
and sandpaper tongue
Haiku # 70688, May 24, 2021 2:09 am ET
by Starkitten of chat, chaton
starkitten...well heck
now where have i seen that name
before, chat rooms or?
Haiku # 70687, May 23, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by vhs
God does not love you,
but Godzilla loves money,
and that's close enough.
Haiku # 70686, May 23, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by Roar, smash, crash of give me that cash.
If you poop your pants
at Godzilla vs. Kong
then you're a pussy.
Haiku # 70685, May 23, 2021 6:44 pm ET
by Nothing to see here, plenty to smell though of move along, move along.
You have now been warned:
If you kiss the Figpucker
There will be maggots.
Haiku # 70682, May 23, 2021 8:02 am ET
by Carrion Carry-on of CARRY ON
The shark has been jumped
That dead horse, one last time humped
Buh bye bad haiku
Haiku # 70681, May 23, 2021 12:11 am ET
by .
Packing my valise
No need to bring much clothing
I’ll just wear a smile
Haiku # 70680, May 21, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by I. Tinerary of Cathouse
Listen to true crime.
That's where you will find the truth.
Because crime is TRUE.
Haiku # 70679, May 21, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Forensic Analysis of The Scene
Is now dating site?
Soon you will all meet in hell
No need to make plans
Haiku # 70678, May 21, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Jesus of Arkansas
The Holiday Inn.
At Oklahoma City.
Southwest Fifteenth Street.
Haiku # 70677, May 21, 2021 12:18 am ET
by 4501 SW 15th St, Oklahoma City, OK 73108 of But will take some time for me to get out of here. Let's plan on July 4. We'll see.
Where will we meet, Darth?
No kissing allowed in here
Need a private room
Haiku # 70676, May 20, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by SK of Just a kiss away
I'm ready to quit.
Time to live on an island.
Humans are awful.
Haiku # 70675, May 20, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by The whole bloody lot of them. of Especially Eskimos.
I want just the best.
Lots of diners have waffles.
Few have twat waffles.
Haiku # 70674, May 20, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Blue waffles made with blueberry syrup. of Yummy!
Okay Starkitten.
You want to hookup with me?
First one's a freebie.
Haiku # 70673, May 20, 2021 8:32 pm ET
by I'm such a whore. of And unashamed.
The lady next door
wears a triple G cup size
Better start running
Haiku # 70672, May 20, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by Noticed of Details of Laundry Detail
Nosey Neighborhood
Show them who's boss this summer
Lemonade in Face
Haiku # 70671, May 20, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by Sour Puss of Ready
Chugging Spring Tonic
Ma Nature's High Colonic
Dandelion Greens!
Haiku # 70670, May 20, 2021 5:18 pm ET
by Will Giveyoutheshitz of Take a Guess
A milkshake for two
Darth's balding head. We nuzzle
like horny horses
Haiku # 70669, May 20, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Starhorse of Kicking the stall
Wild Springtime Bear Tug
Will he maul you this morning?
Or happy ending?
Haiku # 70668, May 20, 2021 12:59 am ET
by Jack Urso, Proprietor, Grizz Tug Tours of Juneau, Alaska Juneau how to milk a cow??
It might get grizzly
if you masturbate a bear
during the spring thaw.
Haiku # 70667, May 19, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by New extreme sport. of Sponsored by Red Bull. It gives you wings!
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bear skin rug
Please, make sure he's dead
Haiku # 70666, May 19, 2021 9:34 pm ET
by Light Sleeper of Hiber Nation
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bearskin rug,
say "I'm so sorry."
Haiku # 70665, May 19, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by South Park. DP CEO. of You missed that episode?
Soon you will all know
the extent of my evil.
It has no limits.
Haiku # 70664, May 19, 2021 8:56 pm ET
by Well... nothing too creepy, nothing involving penguins. of Know what I mean?
I call it a Darth
Don’t let his bad boy image
hide his sweet Darth ways
Haiku # 70663, May 19, 2021 7:19 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Carving initials in Old Willow S K + D F
it's been a while but
what do you call a bad poem
that is not bad?
Haiku # 70662, May 19, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
If you masturbate
whilst sat on a bear skin rug
Haiku # 70661, May 19, 2021 4:57 am ET
by Goldilocks
I'm still looking for
nuclear warheads if you
know any sellers.
Haiku # 70660, May 19, 2021 4:01 am ET
by $10M enough? of I can do $20M if a missile is included. 500 mi range.
Whose side are you on?
Isreal or Palestine?
Either way God wins.
Haiku # 70659, May 19, 2021 3:53 am ET
by He just enjoys watching suffering. of What being an omnipotent being is all about.
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