If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bear skin rug
Please, make sure he's dead
by Light Sleeper of Hiber Nation
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bearskin rug,
say "I'm so sorry."
by South Park. DP CEO. of You missed that episode?
Soon you will all know
the extent of my evil.
It has no limits.
by Well... nothing too creepy, nothing involving penguins. of Know what I mean?
I call it a Darth
Don’t let his bad boy image
hide his sweet Darth ways
by Secret Admirer of Carving initials in Old Willow S K + D F
it's been a while but
what do you call a bad poem
that is not bad?
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
If you masturbate
whilst sat on a bear skin rug
Beastiality?
by Goldilocks
I'm still looking for
nuclear warheads if you
know any sellers.
by $10M enough? of I can do $20M if a missile is included. 500 mi range.
Whose side are you on?
Isreal or Palestine?
Either way God wins.
by He just enjoys watching suffering. of What being an omnipotent being is all about.
Haiku poems aren't
the only thing I need to
unload. Har har har.
by I mean my dump truck. of What were you thinking???
Dear Darth Figpucker,
I think you need to unload
some haiku poems
by Waiting for Darth of Unloading Zone
Year in my current
The Masterpiece and cheese please
I was looking for
by AutoPhill Poetry
Genuine haiku
Not a paid advertisement
to gives you hard on
by A. Bonermade of Love
I have to admit
I never knew that mushrooms
go to the bathroom
by Purchaser of Mushroom Manure of Old Willow Garden Centre
The finest manure
As far as the eye can see
Has corn in it, too
by Corntestant of Elimination Round
“Cursed Art Thine Crops!”
The fly problem is unreal
Please keep your legs closed
by Overheard of Old Willow a Community Gardens
New to gardening
Dug in the soil all afternoon
Tunneled straight to Hell
by I. Saw the Devil of Tunnel to/from Hell
Anniversary
“I’m sick of smelling your farts.”
Half a century
by Name withheld of Head hanging out the window like a dog
Discussing feces.
Four consecutive poems.
Can we make it five?
by Mr. Hankey sings The Circle of Poo. of Inspiring!
Chewie does bidet.
With like firehose pressure.
Great fertilizer.
by Use The Force whilest pooing. of It will come out well in the end.
Bad Haiku Seagull
On high, shitting syllables
I wrote this poem
by Bad Haiku Seagull of On High
No toilet paper
can ever completely wipe
Chewbacca's rear end
by D. Ingleberry of Hangin'
Bigfoot has been found.
Mayhews was not Chewbaca.
Just a Lucas scam.
by The Real News from Switzerland. of In other news, Chinese govt. does not exist. A capitalist puppet state.
Perhaps you are fake
An articles for sending.
Please contacts Guang Zhou
by Impeccable Haiku
The first line of that last haiku includes the burp as the fifth syllable
by Noticer of Details of Hearthside
Dean Martin burps,
“But baby, it’s cold outside..”
and unzips his fly
by Old Skool Moves of Hearth side
Darth is at the hearth.
Fireside flatus flaming.
Chimney explosion.
by Voilating EPA regs. of Not to mention OSHA.
Think about narwhals
They never get a parade
What did they do wrong?
by Phil Lesh
You forgot to queef:
The roast sisters are BOGO
Say Hot Beef conjoined.
by Detailer of Noticers
You forgot to say
The Queef sisters are conjoined
Hot BOGO Roast Beef
by Noticer of Details of Yonge Street
Haiku Clearance Sale
Fill a bag for Five Dollars!!
Live Poets on site!
by Genital Manager of Bad Haiku Outlets (just off the Old Willow exit)
Used to like this site
But Lord, the thrill is gone now
(With the stench of Darth)
by Orifice of Haiku
Farts of the deceased
“Where they go one, they go all”
Queefs Anonymous
by Brown Noser of Ol’ Factory Systems, Inc.
Joined the symphony
First Labial Glockenspiel
That's where to find me
Sticky sheet music
Our baton-less conductor
just uses his dink
by Nikolai Rimjob-Koksuckoff of Composing (myself)
Queef harmonica.
The tampon string violin.
Or a douche tuba.
by Bethoven's 69th symphony.
is that queef for me ?
or just paying lip service
you insincere cunt
by ash
need a little tour ?
international tourettes
will fucking move you
i solemnly swear
we will go where others won't
just like this web site
by ash of new business opportunity is calling, cunt
the changing seasons
always return as before
like crass poetry
by ash
on such an old site
gross adolescent content
seems undignified
by ash
I want to buy some
imported high quality
bottled queef vapors.
by Beats vape cigs!
The Queef sisters are
Katherine and Katie Queef.
They're from Toronto.
They have flappy heads.
That ain't all they have that flaps.
Know what I'm sayin'?
They are TV stars.
Of course their two boyfriends are
Terrance and Phillip.
by Order now for 5 hours of recorded CUNT music. of Streamed on i-Tunes (or whatever)
Queefing quietly
in the city of Bridgeport;
that's cunt etiquette.
by The Queef Sisters of From Canada, but passing through Cunt-etiquette.
tHeY wERE rApTUREd uP!
NoThiNG LeFt bUT pOLARoiDS
oF mE & dArTH (nude)
by RAPTURED of UP
Now comes two Mormons
"Hello, Mrs. Robinson"
"Seducin' me, dawg?"
by Mrs. Robinson of Elaine's bedroom
When the Doorbell Rings
Try our Jehovah's Witness
Protection Program
by Author of the Definitive Guide of Making it Look Like Nobody's Home
Here there lies a frog.
Flattened and dehydrated.
What a great frisbee.
Oh, how children laugh
to see the old man throw it.
So aerodynamic.
It hits old Miss Jones.
Look how angry she's become.
Then he grabs her ass.
by The rest is history.
stilettos click-clack
a staccato on marble
necks crane in her wake
by vince
The dusty old trail
We've trudged since the dawn of time
leads to the toilet
by E. Rosion & E. Coli of Bottom of your shoe
It’s like Burma Shave
Think of the money you’ll save
Unzip pants and Wave!
by Extended Handshake of Scenic Highway
with our selection
we guarantee perfection
for your erection
there's nothing iffy
with a cialis stiffy
your meat is spiffy
procrastinating ?
get pilled up for speed dating
why are you waiting ?
by ash of online prescribing is big
If your mom walks in
when you are masturbatin,
that's embarrassing.
But if you walk in
when your mom's masturbating,
that scars you for life.
by Woukd have made a good Partridge Family episode... of course or a mini series.
