The first line of that last haiku includes the burp as the fifth syllable
by Noticer of Details of Hearthside 
 
			
Dean Martin burps,
“But baby, it’s cold outside..”
and unzips his fly
by Old Skool Moves of Hearth side  
 
			
Darth is at the hearth.
Fireside flatus flaming.
Chimney explosion.
by Voilating EPA regs. of Not to mention OSHA. 
 
			
Think about narwhals
They never get a parade
What did they do wrong?
by Phil Lesh
 
			
You forgot to queef:
The roast sisters are BOGO
Say Hot Beef conjoined.
by Detailer of Noticers 
 
			
You forgot to say
The Queef sisters are conjoined
Hot BOGO Roast Beef
by Noticer of Details of Yonge Street 
 
			
Haiku Clearance Sale
Fill a bag for Five Dollars!!
Live Poets on site!
by Genital Manager of Bad Haiku Outlets (just off the Old Willow exit) 
 
			
Used to like this site
But Lord, the thrill is gone now
(With the stench of Darth)
by Orifice of Haiku  
 
			
Farts of the deceased
“Where they go one, they go all”
Queefs Anonymous
by Brown Noser of Ol’ Factory Systems, Inc. 
 
			
Joined the symphony 
First Labial Glockenspiel
That's where to find me
Sticky sheet music
Our baton-less conductor
just uses his dink
by Nikolai Rimjob-Koksuckoff of Composing (myself)  
 
			
Queef harmonica.
The tampon string violin.
Or a douche tuba.
by Bethoven's 69th symphony.
 
			
is that queef for me ?
or just paying lip service
you insincere cunt
by ash
 
			
need a little tour ?
international tourettes
will fucking move you
i solemnly swear
we will go where others won't
just like this web site
by ash of new business opportunity is calling, cunt 
 
			
the changing seasons
always return as before
like crass poetry
by ash
 
			
on such an old site
gross adolescent content
seems undignified
by ash
 
			
I want to buy some
imported high quality 
bottled queef vapors.
by Beats vape cigs!
 
			
The Queef sisters are
Katherine and Katie Queef.
They're from Toronto.
They have flappy heads.
That ain't all they have that flaps.
Know what I'm sayin'?
They are TV stars.
Of course their two boyfriends are
Terrance and Phillip.
by Order now for 5 hours of recorded CUNT music. of Streamed on i-Tunes (or whatever) 
 
			
Queefing quietly
in the city of Bridgeport;
that's cunt etiquette.
by The Queef Sisters of From Canada, but passing through Cunt-etiquette. 
 
			
tHeY wERE rApTUREd uP!
NoThiNG LeFt bUT pOLARoiDS
oF mE & dArTH (nude)
by RAPTURED of UP 
 
			
Now comes two Mormons
"Hello, Mrs. Robinson"
"Seducin' me, dawg?"
by Mrs. Robinson of Elaine's bedroom 
 
			
When the Doorbell Rings
Try our Jehovah's Witness
Protection Program
by Author of the Definitive Guide  of Making it Look Like Nobody's Home 
 
			
Here there lies a frog.
Flattened and dehydrated.
What a great frisbee.
Oh, how children laugh
to see the old man throw it.
So aerodynamic.
It hits old Miss Jones.
Look how angry she's become.
Then he grabs her ass.
by The rest is history.
 
			
stilettos click-clack 
a staccato on marble 
necks crane in her wake
by vince
 
			
The dusty old trail
We've trudged since the dawn of time
leads to the toilet
by E. Rosion & E. Coli of Bottom of your shoe 
 
			
It’s like Burma Shave
Think of the money you’ll save
Unzip pants and Wave!
by Extended Handshake of Scenic Highway 
 
			
with our selection
we guarantee perfection
for your erection
there's nothing iffy
with a cialis stiffy
your meat is spiffy
procrastinating ?
get pilled up for speed dating
why are you waiting ?
by ash of online prescribing is big 
 
			
If your mom walks in
when you are masturbatin,
that's embarrassing. 
But if you walk in
when your mom's masturbating,
that scars you for life.
by Woukd have made a good Partridge Family episode...  of course or a mini series. 
 
			
They might not want that
Maybe they're just here to eat
Lots of good food here
by Unless they want to eat people....then you should fuck them
 
			
Don’t try to tell me
If aliens visit Earth
we shouldn’t fuck them
by Open Minded of Earth 
 
			
How embarrassing 
This guy was meditating
and his Mom walked in
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Bad Haiku (dot com)
is secretly owned by the
boner pill spammers.
Janis owns something
like twenty three percent of
all Cialis shares.
by I looked it up!  It's true!  I swear it! of I never lie! 
 
			
Ostrich egg breakfast
You flip it with a shovel
for over easy
by Birds R. Weird
 
			
I'm going to check that out
Thanks
by Dog kisser
 
			
You seen Happiness?
The comedy by Todd Slondz?
The ending's perfect.
Always ask yourself,
"Have I kissed my dog today?"
If not, then you should.
by Brutal breakups, abusive relationships, and a pedophile husband. of What more could you ask for in a comedy?! 
 
			
The first line has five
The second line has seven
Insufficient
by Ivica of Canada 
 
			
Bathroom fishing trip
Toilet stocked with brown brook trout
Now we sit and wait
by Haiku Poet of Gone Fishing 
 
			
Dick jokes and pill spam 
The lifeblood of bad haiku 
Really a sad place.
by Now I rember why I don't visit anymore 
 
			
You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.
by Jerry's attic. of Geriatric.  
 
			
Throw down the blue pills
Take matters in your own hands
 It’s not that hard, man
by Alfred Lord Tendinitis  of Vaseline aisle  
 
			
You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.
by Jerry's attic. of Geriatric.  
 
			
Inspiration Point
And there's nothing one can say
Like, Fonz, I'm pregnant
by Joanie of Sat on it 
 
			
inspiration fails
and there's nothing one can say
like catching covid
by ash
 
			
Fukushima Glow
There you stand bathed in moonlight
Cause meltdown in pants
by Kim Ono of Open 
 
			
Beauregard lets wind
Junior Samples hoists his pants
B R 5 4 9
by Hee Haw Haiku Honey of Kornfield 
 
			
Clem! Clem they done it.
They made the Bad Haiku WORSE.
Lord, I'm jest pure skairt.
by Jethro McCoy of CORNPONE GULCH 
 
			
Please buy Chinese watch:
Best quality Fuxiang gold
Can pay with Visa
by Guangshi Industrial Investment of RIP OFF ONLINE 
 
			
shun faux boner pills
their promise does not stand up
and neither will yours
by ash
 
			
Marriage Proposal
Rent a tux for your penis
Snapping turtle bride.
by I mean one of those giant fucking aligator snapping turtles. of We're not fucking around here! 
 
			
Geometric joy.
precise lines scar paper sheet.
thanks, paper shredder.
by Doug Jiro of San Francisco 
 
			
Business Proposal
Monthly Subscription Boxes
Penis Dress-Up Clothes
by Vera Wang