Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 211 Days and 70742 Haikus later...

“Cursed Art Thine Crops!”
The fly problem is unreal
Please keep your legs closed
Haiku # 70650, May 16, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by Overheard of Old Willow a Community Gardens
New to gardening
Dug in the soil all afternoon
Tunneled straight to Hell
Haiku # 70649, May 16, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by I. Saw the Devil of Tunnel to/from Hell
Anniversary
“I’m sick of smelling your farts.”
Half a century
Haiku # 70648, May 16, 2021 6:22 am ET
by Name withheld of Head hanging out the window like a dog
Discussing feces.
Four consecutive poems.
Can we make it five?
Haiku # 70647, May 16, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Mr. Hankey sings The Circle of Poo. of Inspiring!
Chewie does bidet.
With like firehose pressure.
Great fertilizer.
Haiku # 70646, May 16, 2021 2:55 am ET
by Use The Force whilest pooing. of It will come out well in the end.
Bad Haiku Seagull
On high, shitting syllables
I wrote this poem
Haiku # 70645, May 16, 2021 1:54 am ET
by Bad Haiku Seagull of On High
No toilet paper
can ever completely wipe
Chewbacca's rear end
Haiku # 70644, May 14, 2021 11:46 pm ET
by D. Ingleberry of Hangin'
Bigfoot has been found.
Mayhews was not Chewbaca.
Just a Lucas scam.
Haiku # 70643, May 14, 2021 2:59 am ET
by The Real News from Switzerland. of In other news, Chinese govt. does not exist. A capitalist puppet state.
Perhaps you are fake
An articles for sending.
Please contacts Guang Zhou
Haiku # 70642, May 13, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by Impeccable Haiku
The first line of that last haiku includes the burp as the fifth syllable
Haiku # 70640, May 11, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Hearthside
Dean Martin burps,
“But baby, it’s cold outside..”
and unzips his fly
Haiku # 70639, May 11, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Old Skool Moves of Hearth side
Darth is at the hearth.
Fireside flatus flaming.
Chimney explosion.
Haiku # 70638, May 11, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Voilating EPA regs. of Not to mention OSHA.
Think about narwhals
They never get a parade
What did they do wrong?
Haiku # 70637, May 11, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
You forgot to queef:
The roast sisters are BOGO
Say Hot Beef conjoined.
Haiku # 70636, May 11, 2021 10:43 am ET
by Detailer of Noticers
You forgot to say
The Queef sisters are conjoined
Hot BOGO Roast Beef
Haiku # 70635, May 11, 2021 12:24 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Yonge Street
Haiku Clearance Sale
Fill a bag for Five Dollars!!
Live Poets on site!
Haiku # 70634, May 11, 2021 12:17 am ET
by Genital Manager of Bad Haiku Outlets (just off the Old Willow exit)
Used to like this site
But Lord, the thrill is gone now
(With the stench of Darth)
Haiku # 70632, May 10, 2021 5:57 pm ET
by Orifice of Haiku
Farts of the deceased
“Where they go one, they go all”
Queefs Anonymous
Haiku # 70631, May 10, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Brown Noser of Ol’ Factory Systems, Inc.
Joined the symphony
First Labial Glockenspiel
That's where to find me

Sticky sheet music
Our baton-less conductor
just uses his dink
Haiku # 70630, May 10, 2021 11:08 am ET
by Nikolai Rimjob-Koksuckoff of Composing (myself)
Queef harmonica.
The tampon string violin.
Or a douche tuba.
Haiku # 70629, May 10, 2021 9:26 am ET
by Bethoven's 69th symphony.
is that queef for me ?
or just paying lip service
you insincere cunt
Haiku # 70628, May 10, 2021 8:38 am ET
by ash
need a little tour ?
international tourettes
will fucking move you

i solemnly swear
we will go where others won't
just like this web site
Haiku # 70627, May 10, 2021 8:08 am ET
by ash of new business opportunity is calling, cunt
the changing seasons
always return as before
like crass poetry
Haiku # 70626, May 10, 2021 7:50 am ET
by ash
on such an old site
gross adolescent content
seems undignified
Haiku # 70625, May 10, 2021 7:46 am ET
by ash
I want to buy some
imported high quality
bottled queef vapors.
Haiku # 70623, May 10, 2021 3:06 am ET
by Beats vape cigs!
The Queef sisters are
Katherine and Katie Queef.
They're from Toronto.

They have flappy heads.
That ain't all they have that flaps.
Know what I'm sayin'?

They are TV stars.
Of course their two boyfriends are
Terrance and Phillip.
Haiku # 70619, May 9, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Order now for 5 hours of recorded CUNT music. of Streamed on i-Tunes (or whatever)
Queefing quietly
in the city of Bridgeport;
that's cunt etiquette.
Haiku # 70618, May 9, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by The Queef Sisters of From Canada, but passing through Cunt-etiquette.
tHeY wERE rApTUREd uP!
NoThiNG LeFt bUT pOLARoiDS
oF mE & dArTH (nude)
Haiku # 70614, May 6, 2021 3:42 pm ET
by RAPTURED of UP
Now comes two Mormons
"Hello, Mrs. Robinson"
"Seducin' me, dawg?"
Haiku # 70613, May 4, 2021 3:25 am ET
by Mrs. Robinson of Elaine's bedroom
When the Doorbell Rings
Try our Jehovah's Witness
Protection Program
Haiku # 70612, May 4, 2021 3:21 am ET
by Author of the Definitive Guide of Making it Look Like Nobody's Home
Here there lies a frog.
Flattened and dehydrated.
What a great frisbee.

Oh, how children laugh
to see the old man throw it.
So aerodynamic.

It hits old Miss Jones.
Look how angry she's become.
Then he grabs her ass.
Haiku # 70611, May 3, 2021 4:59 pm ET
by The rest is history.
stilettos click-clack
a staccato on marble
necks crane in her wake
Haiku # 70610, May 3, 2021 2:36 pm ET
by vince
The dusty old trail
We've trudged since the dawn of time
leads to the toilet
Haiku # 70608, May 2, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by E. Rosion & E. Coli of Bottom of your shoe
It’s like Burma Shave
Think of the money you’ll save
Unzip pants and Wave!
Haiku # 70601, May 2, 2021 9:19 am ET
by Extended Handshake of Scenic Highway
with our selection
we guarantee perfection
for your erection

there's nothing iffy
with a cialis stiffy
your meat is spiffy

procrastinating ?
get pilled up for speed dating
why are you waiting ?
Haiku # 70600, May 2, 2021 8:35 am ET
by ash of online prescribing is big
If your mom walks in
when you are masturbatin,
that's embarrassing.

But if you walk in
when your mom's masturbating,
that scars you for life.
Haiku # 70598, May 1, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by Woukd have made a good Partridge Family episode... of course or a mini series.
They might not want that
Maybe they're just here to eat
Lots of good food here
Haiku # 70596, May 1, 2021 2:41 pm ET
by Unless they want to eat people....then you should fuck them
Don’t try to tell me
If aliens visit Earth
we shouldn’t fuck them
Haiku # 70595, May 1, 2021 7:30 am ET
by Open Minded of Earth
How embarrassing
This guy was meditating
and his Mom walked in
Haiku # 70593, May 1, 2021 4:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bad Haiku (dot com)
is secretly owned by the
boner pill spammers.

Janis owns something
like twenty three percent of
all Cialis shares.
Haiku # 70590, April 30, 2021 6:37 pm ET
by I looked it up! It's true! I swear it! of I never lie!
Ostrich egg breakfast
You flip it with a shovel
for over easy
Haiku # 70586, April 30, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Birds R. Weird
I'm going to check that out
Thanks
Haiku # 70583, April 30, 2021 1:38 am ET
by Dog kisser
You seen Happiness?
The comedy by Todd Slondz?
The ending's perfect.

Always ask yourself,
"Have I kissed my dog today?"
If not, then you should.
Haiku # 70582, April 29, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by Brutal breakups, abusive relationships, and a pedophile husband. of What more could you ask for in a comedy?!
The first line has five
The second line has seven
Insufficient
Haiku # 70581, April 29, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Ivica of Canada
Bathroom fishing trip
Toilet stocked with brown brook trout
Now we sit and wait
Haiku # 70580, April 29, 2021 11:54 am ET
by Haiku Poet of Gone Fishing
Dick jokes and pill spam
The lifeblood of bad haiku
Really a sad place.
Haiku # 70579, April 29, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Now I rember why I don't visit anymore
You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.
Haiku # 70578, April 29, 2021 7:30 am ET
by Jerry's attic. of Geriatric.
Throw down the blue pills
Take matters in your own hands
It’s not that hard, man
Haiku # 70577, April 28, 2021 11:56 pm ET
by Alfred Lord Tendinitis of Vaseline aisle
You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.
Haiku # 70575, April 28, 2021 6:27 pm ET
by Jerry's attic. of Geriatric.
Inspiration Point
And there's nothing one can say
Like, Fonz, I'm pregnant
Haiku # 70574, April 28, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Joanie of Sat on it
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