Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Who's had thorazine?
I wonder if it's worth it,
being admitted.
Haiku # 70700 May 24, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by A vacation is in order.
How many haiku
does it take to get to the
center of madness?
Haiku # 70699 May 24, 2021 8:52 pm ET
by Let's ask Mr. Owl.
Trepanning convert.
Cured of the insanity.
Let those demons out!
Haiku # 70698 May 24, 2021 8:51 pm ET
by Out demon! Out I say! of Holy water brain spritz.
Living in Asia.
Sneaking around late at night.
Jack off in their shoes.
Haiku # 70697 May 24, 2021 8:46 pm ET
by Strange how they pile their shoes in the doorway of the house. of Not even to the side, but like right in the doorway. You have to jump over them.
Penis cock schlong dick
dork member ding-a-ling bulge
one-eyed-wonder worm.
Haiku # 70696 May 24, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by The spirit of George Carlin compells you!
Godzilla's member?
We never see his penis.
New hentai genre?
Haiku # 70695 May 24, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by I mean, why not? of Beats demon octopussies.
We checked the fine print
Godzilla defecation
You’ll have full coverage
Haiku # 70694 May 24, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Yul B. Needeep of in Godzilla poop
Movie Merchandise
Goldzilla Mega Member!
Makes your member HUGE
Haiku # 70693 May 24, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Member of Membership has its benefits
No, teeth marks are good.
That means that it is real gold.
Not Jewish are you?
Haiku # 70692 May 24, 2021 12:00 pm ET
by Oy vay!
I hate to tell you
but I saw teeth marks down there
Dong’s made of Fool’s Gold
Haiku # 70691 May 24, 2021 8:12 am ET
by Peter Panner of Undisclosed
Lloyd's of London.
Those freaks insure anything. Even my gold dong.
Haiku # 70690 May 24, 2021 6:36 am ET
by No, I have not used it. of Thanks for asking.
If Godzilla pooped
and it landed on your house,
would insurance pay?
Haiku # 70689 May 24, 2021 6:33 am ET
by I want to buy Godzilla poop insurane. of You're in good hands.
You probably noticed
my purrsonalized collar
and sandpaper tongue
Haiku # 70688 May 24, 2021 2:09 am ET
by Starkitten of chat, chaton
starkitten...well heck
now where have i seen that name
before, chat rooms or?
Haiku # 70687 May 23, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by vhs
God does not love you,
but Godzilla loves money,
and that's close enough.
Haiku # 70686 May 23, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by Roar, smash, crash of give me that cash.
If you poop your pants
at Godzilla vs. Kong
then you're a pussy.
Haiku # 70685 May 23, 2021 6:44 pm ET
by Nothing to see here, plenty to smell though of move along, move along.
You have now been warned:
If you kiss the Figpucker
There will be maggots.
Haiku # 70682 May 23, 2021 8:02 am ET
by Carrion Carry-on of CARRY ON
The shark has been jumped
That dead horse, one last time humped
Buh bye bad haiku
Haiku # 70681 May 23, 2021 12:11 am ET
by .
Packing my valise
No need to bring much clothing
I’ll just wear a smile
Haiku # 70680 May 21, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by I. Tinerary of Cathouse
Listen to true crime.
That's where you will find the truth.
Because crime is TRUE.
Haiku # 70679 May 21, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Forensic Analysis of The Scene
Is now dating site?
Soon you will all meet in hell
No need to make plans
Haiku # 70678 May 21, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Jesus of Arkansas
The Holiday Inn.
At Oklahoma City.
Southwest Fifteenth Street.
Haiku # 70677 May 21, 2021 12:18 am ET
by 4501 SW 15th St, Oklahoma City, OK 73108 of But will take some time for me to get out of here. Let's plan on July 4. We'll see.
Where will we meet, Darth?
No kissing allowed in here
Need a private room
Haiku # 70676 May 20, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by SK of Just a kiss away
I'm ready to quit.
Time to live on an island.
Humans are awful.
Haiku # 70675 May 20, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by The whole bloody lot of them. of Especially Eskimos.
I want just the best.
Lots of diners have waffles.
Few have twat waffles.
Haiku # 70674 May 20, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Blue waffles made with blueberry syrup. of Yummy!
Okay Starkitten.
You want to hookup with me?
First one's a freebie.
Haiku # 70673 May 20, 2021 8:32 pm ET
by I'm such a whore. of And unashamed.
The lady next door
wears a triple G cup size
Better start running
Haiku # 70672 May 20, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by Noticed of Details of Laundry Detail
Nosey Neighborhood
Show them who's boss this summer
Lemonade in Face
Haiku # 70671 May 20, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by Sour Puss of Ready
Chugging Spring Tonic
Ma Nature's High Colonic
Dandelion Greens!
Haiku # 70670 May 20, 2021 5:18 pm ET
by Will Giveyoutheshitz of Take a Guess
A milkshake for two
Darth's balding head. We nuzzle
like horny horses
Haiku # 70669 May 20, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Starhorse of Kicking the stall
Wild Springtime Bear Tug
Will he maul you this morning?
Or happy ending?
Haiku # 70668 May 20, 2021 12:59 am ET
by Jack Urso, Proprietor, Grizz Tug Tours of Juneau, Alaska Juneau how to milk a cow??
It might get grizzly
if you masturbate a bear
during the spring thaw.
Haiku # 70667 May 19, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by New extreme sport. of Sponsored by Red Bull. It gives you wings!
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bear skin rug
Please, make sure he's dead
Haiku # 70666 May 19, 2021 9:34 pm ET
by Light Sleeper of Hiber Nation
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bearskin rug,
say "I'm so sorry."
Haiku # 70665 May 19, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by South Park. DP CEO. of You missed that episode?
Soon you will all know
the extent of my evil.
It has no limits.
Haiku # 70664 May 19, 2021 8:56 pm ET
by Well... nothing too creepy, nothing involving penguins. of Know what I mean?
I call it a Darth
Don’t let his bad boy image
hide his sweet Darth ways
Haiku # 70663 May 19, 2021 7:19 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Carving initials in Old Willow S K + D F
it's been a while but
what do you call a bad poem
that is not bad?
Haiku # 70662 May 19, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
If you masturbate
whilst sat on a bear skin rug
Beastiality?
Haiku # 70661 May 19, 2021 4:57 am ET
by Goldilocks
I'm still looking for
nuclear warheads if you
know any sellers.
Haiku # 70660 May 19, 2021 4:01 am ET
by $10M enough? of I can do $20M if a missile is included. 500 mi range.
Whose side are you on?
Isreal or Palestine?
Either way God wins.
Haiku # 70659 May 19, 2021 3:53 am ET
by He just enjoys watching suffering. of What being an omnipotent being is all about.
Haiku poems aren't
the only thing I need to
unload. Har har har.
Haiku # 70658 May 19, 2021 3:50 am ET
by I mean my dump truck. of What were you thinking???
Dear Darth Figpucker,
I think you need to unload
some haiku poems
Haiku # 70657 May 19, 2021 1:17 am ET
by Waiting for Darth of Unloading Zone
Year in my current
The Masterpiece and cheese please
I was looking for
Haiku # 70656 May 19, 2021 12:34 am ET
by AutoPhill Poetry
Genuine haiku
Not a paid advertisement
to gives you hard on
Haiku # 70655 May 18, 2021 6:58 pm ET
by A. Bonermade of Love
I have to admit
I never knew that mushrooms
go to the bathroom
Haiku # 70652 May 17, 2021 12:19 am ET
by Purchaser of Mushroom Manure of Old Willow Garden Centre
The finest manure
As far as the eye can see
Has corn in it, too
Haiku # 70651 May 16, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Corntestant of Elimination Round
“Cursed Art Thine Crops!”
The fly problem is unreal
Please keep your legs closed
Haiku # 70650 May 16, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by Overheard of Old Willow a Community Gardens
New to gardening
Dug in the soil all afternoon
Tunneled straight to Hell
Haiku # 70649 May 16, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by I. Saw the Devil of Tunnel to/from Hell
Anniversary
“I’m sick of smelling your farts.”
Half a century
Haiku # 70648 May 16, 2021 6:22 am ET
by Name withheld of Head hanging out the window like a dog
Discussing feces.
Four consecutive poems.
Can we make it five?
Haiku # 70647 May 16, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Mr. Hankey sings The Circle of Poo. of Inspiring!
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