Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 19 Days and 76796 Haiku later...

If Godzilla pooped
and it landed on your house,
would insurance pay?
Haiku # 70689, May 24, 2021 6:33 am ET
by I want to buy Godzilla poop insurane. of You're in good hands.
You probably noticed
my purrsonalized collar
and sandpaper tongue
Haiku # 70688, May 24, 2021 2:09 am ET
by Starkitten of chat, chaton
starkitten...well heck
now where have i seen that name
before, chat rooms or?
Haiku # 70687, May 23, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by vhs
God does not love you,
but Godzilla loves money,
and that's close enough.
Haiku # 70686, May 23, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by Roar, smash, crash of give me that cash.
If you poop your pants
at Godzilla vs. Kong
then you're a pussy.
Haiku # 70685, May 23, 2021 6:44 pm ET
by Nothing to see here, plenty to smell though of move along, move along.
You have now been warned:
If you kiss the Figpucker
There will be maggots.
Haiku # 70682, May 23, 2021 8:02 am ET
by Carrion Carry-on of CARRY ON
The shark has been jumped
That dead horse, one last time humped
Buh bye bad haiku
Haiku # 70681, May 23, 2021 12:11 am ET
by .
Packing my valise
No need to bring much clothing
I’ll just wear a smile
Haiku # 70680, May 21, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by I. Tinerary of Cathouse
Listen to true crime.
That's where you will find the truth.
Because crime is TRUE.
Haiku # 70679, May 21, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Forensic Analysis of The Scene
Is now dating site?
Soon you will all meet in hell
No need to make plans
Haiku # 70678, May 21, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Jesus of Arkansas
The Holiday Inn.
At Oklahoma City.
Southwest Fifteenth Street.
Haiku # 70677, May 21, 2021 12:18 am ET
by 4501 SW 15th St, Oklahoma City, OK 73108 of But will take some time for me to get out of here. Let's plan on July 4. We'll see.
Where will we meet, Darth?
No kissing allowed in here
Need a private room
Haiku # 70676, May 20, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by SK of Just a kiss away
I'm ready to quit.
Time to live on an island.
Humans are awful.
Haiku # 70675, May 20, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by The whole bloody lot of them. of Especially Eskimos.
I want just the best.
Lots of diners have waffles.
Few have twat waffles.
Haiku # 70674, May 20, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Blue waffles made with blueberry syrup. of Yummy!
Okay Starkitten.
You want to hookup with me?
First one's a freebie.
Haiku # 70673, May 20, 2021 8:32 pm ET
by I'm such a whore. of And unashamed.
The lady next door
wears a triple G cup size
Better start running
Haiku # 70672, May 20, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by Noticed of Details of Laundry Detail
Nosey Neighborhood
Show them who's boss this summer
Lemonade in Face
Haiku # 70671, May 20, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by Sour Puss of Ready
Chugging Spring Tonic
Ma Nature's High Colonic
Dandelion Greens!
Haiku # 70670, May 20, 2021 5:18 pm ET
by Will Giveyoutheshitz of Take a Guess
A milkshake for two
Darth's balding head. We nuzzle
like horny horses
Haiku # 70669, May 20, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Starhorse of Kicking the stall
Wild Springtime Bear Tug
Will he maul you this morning?
Or happy ending?
Haiku # 70668, May 20, 2021 12:59 am ET
by Jack Urso, Proprietor, Grizz Tug Tours of Juneau, Alaska Juneau how to milk a cow??
It might get grizzly
if you masturbate a bear
during the spring thaw.
Haiku # 70667, May 19, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by New extreme sport. of Sponsored by Red Bull. It gives you wings!
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bear skin rug
Please, make sure he's dead
Haiku # 70666, May 19, 2021 9:34 pm ET
by Light Sleeper of Hiber Nation
If you masturbate
whilst you're on a bearskin rug,
say "I'm so sorry."
Haiku # 70665, May 19, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by South Park. DP CEO. of You missed that episode?
Soon you will all know
the extent of my evil.
It has no limits.
Haiku # 70664, May 19, 2021 8:56 pm ET
by Well... nothing too creepy, nothing involving penguins. of Know what I mean?
I call it a Darth
Don’t let his bad boy image
hide his sweet Darth ways
Haiku # 70663, May 19, 2021 7:19 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Carving initials in Old Willow S K + D F
it's been a while but
what do you call a bad poem
that is not bad?
Haiku # 70662, May 19, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
If you masturbate
whilst sat on a bear skin rug
Haiku # 70661, May 19, 2021 4:57 am ET
by Goldilocks
I'm still looking for
nuclear warheads if you
know any sellers.
Haiku # 70660, May 19, 2021 4:01 am ET
by $10M enough? of I can do $20M if a missile is included. 500 mi range.
Whose side are you on?
Isreal or Palestine?
Either way God wins.
Haiku # 70659, May 19, 2021 3:53 am ET
by He just enjoys watching suffering. of What being an omnipotent being is all about.
Haiku poems aren't
the only thing I need to
unload. Har har har.
Haiku # 70658, May 19, 2021 3:50 am ET
by I mean my dump truck. of What were you thinking???
Dear Darth Figpucker,
I think you need to unload
some haiku poems
Haiku # 70657, May 19, 2021 1:17 am ET
by Waiting for Darth of Unloading Zone
Year in my current
The Masterpiece and cheese please
I was looking for
Haiku # 70656, May 19, 2021 12:34 am ET
by AutoPhill Poetry
Genuine haiku
Not a paid advertisement
to gives you hard on
Haiku # 70655, May 18, 2021 6:58 pm ET
by A. Bonermade of Love
I have to admit
I never knew that mushrooms
go to the bathroom
Haiku # 70652, May 17, 2021 12:19 am ET
by Purchaser of Mushroom Manure of Old Willow Garden Centre
The finest manure
As far as the eye can see
Has corn in it, too
Haiku # 70651, May 16, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Corntestant of Elimination Round
“Cursed Art Thine Crops!”
The fly problem is unreal
Please keep your legs closed
Haiku # 70650, May 16, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by Overheard of Old Willow a Community Gardens
New to gardening
Dug in the soil all afternoon
Tunneled straight to Hell
Haiku # 70649, May 16, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by I. Saw the Devil of Tunnel to/from Hell
“I’m sick of smelling your farts.”
Half a century
Haiku # 70648, May 16, 2021 6:22 am ET
by Name withheld of Head hanging out the window like a dog
Discussing feces.
Four consecutive poems.
Can we make it five?
Haiku # 70647, May 16, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Mr. Hankey sings The Circle of Poo. of Inspiring!
Chewie does bidet.
With like firehose pressure.
Great fertilizer.
Haiku # 70646, May 16, 2021 2:55 am ET
by Use The Force whilest pooing. of It will come out well in the end.
Bad Haiku Seagull
On high, shitting syllables
I wrote this poem
Haiku # 70645, May 16, 2021 1:54 am ET
by Bad Haiku Seagull of On High
No toilet paper
can ever completely wipe
Chewbacca's rear end
Haiku # 70644, May 14, 2021 11:46 pm ET
by D. Ingleberry of Hangin'
Bigfoot has been found.
Mayhews was not Chewbaca.
Just a Lucas scam.
Haiku # 70643, May 14, 2021 2:59 am ET
by The Real News from Switzerland. of In other news, Chinese govt. does not exist. A capitalist puppet state.
Perhaps you are fake
An articles for sending.
Please contacts Guang Zhou
Haiku # 70642, May 13, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by Impeccable Haiku
The first line of that last haiku includes the burp as the fifth syllable
Haiku # 70640, May 11, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Hearthside
Dean Martin burps,
“But baby, it’s cold outside..”
and unzips his fly
Haiku # 70639, May 11, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Old Skool Moves of Hearth side
Darth is at the hearth.
Fireside flatus flaming.
Chimney explosion.
Haiku # 70638, May 11, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by Voilating EPA regs. of Not to mention OSHA.
Think about narwhals
They never get a parade
What did they do wrong?
Haiku # 70637, May 11, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
You forgot to queef:
The roast sisters are BOGO
Say Hot Beef conjoined.
Haiku # 70636, May 11, 2021 10:43 am ET
by Detailer of Noticers
You forgot to say
The Queef sisters are conjoined
Hot BOGO Roast Beef
Haiku # 70635, May 11, 2021 12:24 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Yonge Street
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