Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

The Easter Bunny
loved me too intimately.
Was that Uncle Dan?
Haiku # 70369, April 4, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by I got LOTS of eggs in my basket.
Hey Moxie, listen:
It's five-seven-five or else
You get consequence.
Haiku # 70368, April 4, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by Moxie Intervention of MAINE
Hey Darth, it's Easter,
and the bunny loves you too.
See you in heaven.
Haiku # 70367, April 4, 2021 5:34 pm ET
Lord Christ have mercy.
Oh have mercy upon me
For my bad haiku.
Haiku # 70366, April 4, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Easter Penitent of LINE of LINES
Ash, you need some faith.
It won't happen just like that.
Go ask Figpucker...
Haiku # 70365, April 4, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Eschatology of HAIKOO
The rapture happened.
Only Pee Wee Herman went.
We're all just doomed souls.
Haiku # 70364, April 4, 2021 10:54 am ET
by Chair misses him, so very sad.
bring on the rapture
there's been pestilence enough
so let's get airborne
Haiku # 70363, April 4, 2021 8:09 am ET
by ash
jesus wowed the crowd
and here we are still waiting
but no curtain call
Haiku # 70362, April 4, 2021 8:04 am ET
by ash
it's over too soon
my daylight saving is spent
like my wasted youth
Haiku # 70361, April 4, 2021 7:58 am ET
by ash
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Some call it Bechamel sauce
Some call it Elmer’s
Haiku # 70360, April 3, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Load Scientist of Sticky Situation
Cannibal Lecture
Rude to talk with your mouth full
Watch me masticate
Haiku # 70359, April 2, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Masticator of Porn Hub
You defile this day
With your filthy haiku verse.
You are doomed and damned.
Haiku # 70358, April 2, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Apart from the Intervention of GOD
Tom Bosleys ex-wife
Wants her some of that penis
But just not his, see?
Haiku # 70357, April 2, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Post-Nuptial Disagreement
Cannibal rectum...
I mean--- Hannibal Lecter!
Something about that...
Haiku # 70356, April 2, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Silence of the Pork Roast
Christ goes down to hell.
He speaks to the rephaim.
Some of them listen.
Haiku # 70355, April 2, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by Truth of the Gospel
Christ is getting scourged.
The Romans crown Him with thorns
And it's all your fault.
Haiku # 70354, April 2, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Conversion of The Jews
I am Tom Bosley.
I've contacted my lawyers.
You'll need a defense.
Haiku # 70353, April 2, 2021 10:18 pm ET
Dining room table
Mrs. C. (Nude...spread eagle
Our Easter Dinner
Haiku # 70352, April 2, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by Tom Bosley's dink of Thought it was dead but it is risen
And yet, here you are
Complaining like an old man
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 70351, April 2, 2021 5:21 pm ET
by Marion Cuntingham
as far i know i
stopped posting here and let folks
no longer know of

this place well i mean
to hear about rectums and
cannibals? when shit

is real now? great old
resets, nothing underground
just evil open...
Haiku # 70350, April 2, 2021 2:04 pm ET
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
Distended rectum.
Pin the anus on itself.
Water sleeve wigglies.

As seen on TV,
Quick Trip, Seven Eleven,
and of course Porn Hub.

Stinky, slippery,
like chitlins you can play with.
But please do not bite.
Haiku # 70349, April 2, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by Check out my bulge! of Both of them!
Pin the tail on the
anus? Or the cloacae?
Don't mind the ka ka
Haiku # 70348, March 31, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Unexpected Splat of Birthday Party (birdbath)
Faint morning birdsong
They want to peck our eyes out
It's in every song
Haiku # 70346, March 31, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Bird Avoider
Bet you didn’t know
that midgets are stackable
It’s all on Porn Hub
Haiku # 70345, March 31, 2021 7:39 am ET
by Noticer of Details
U so damn BOring.
Yo haiku saw logz. Mm-hm.
Put me right 2 sleep.
Haiku # 70343, March 30, 2021 7:47 pm ET
by Tyrone of Haiku STREETZ
Not many peopke keep raw
Severed heads inside
Haiku # 70342, March 30, 2021 8:28 am ET
by Cool of running
Haikus are poems
That sometimes do not make sense
Haiku # 70341, March 30, 2021 6:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The party’s over
BadHaiku crawls home alone
Puking in bushes
Haiku # 70340, March 30, 2021 5:56 am ET
by Ralph of Bushes
Cannabis cordial
Have you over for dinner
Funyuns and Skittles
Haiku # 70339, March 30, 2021 12:59 am ET
by Baked of Under Old Willow
Cordial Cannibals
Have you over for dinner
Just the one time, though
Haiku # 70338, March 29, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by R.S.V.P of Preparing Tiramisu (it pairs well with you)
Kaleidoscope fad.
High speed semen squirt gun cam.
Meat, your stew neighbor.
Haiku # 70337, March 29, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by Mandelbrot ejaculate anthropophagus of immaculate chocolate ejaculate
Telescopic dink
Full Moon. Fully extended.
Science Fair Entry
Haiku # 70336, March 29, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Editor in Chief of Popular Science
Spreading it on thick
Mineral fertilizer
I call it "shit."
Haiku # 70335, March 29, 2021 2:30 pm ET
by Shit Spreader of Fart Farm
Telescope hobby
Slow motion orgasm face
Meet your new neighbor
Haiku # 70334, March 29, 2021 10:49 am ET
by People of Your Neighborhood
Too much pork fat here.
Only Asia has more SPAM.
Cubes of fried pig skin.

Heart doctor's wet dream.
They'll soon do pig heart transplants.
Perfect irony.

Deliverance squeal.
Close your eyes, hear banjos duel.
Square dance BBQ.
Haiku # 70332, March 29, 2021 1:28 am ET
by Think I'll move to French Polynesia. of Fish, veggies, and surfing. Fuck all else.
Nothing to see here
Please keep on moving along
Exit on the left
Haiku # 70330, March 28, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Slow week for bad haiku
theyre watching the
faces of those they can spook
even though theyre quite doomed
Haiku # 70328, March 27, 2021 1:33 am ET
by mox
I suspect something
Can't put my finger on it
Danger is lurking
Haiku # 70327, March 26, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Paranoid about it all of Your local shopping mall
Glory Hole Gardens.
Grow fresh vegetables in your bum
Dirty bum? Green thumb!
Haiku # 70325, March 26, 2021 4:35 am ET
by Crockett's Glory Hole Gardens
Which one is a sin
Free range cannibalism
Or regular murder?
Haiku # 70324, March 25, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by Hungry of 24/7
We apologize
Pussy is sold out today
Frozen Furburger?
Haiku # 70323, March 25, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella of Igloo
I googled "pussy".
But the search could not find it.
It was "offensive".
Haiku # 70322, March 25, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Pepe LePew of Always chasing it.
Filthy old pervert.
Leave that hermit crab alone.
Go have an ice cream.
Haiku # 70319, March 25, 2021 1:26 am ET
by Just a suggestion.
Second line of the previous haiku contains a silent meow
Haiku # 70318, March 25, 2021 1:12 am ET
by Pussy of Grab-able
Breaking Haiku News
Mick Jagger gets a kitten
Pope orders pay cuts
Haiku # 70317, March 25, 2021 1:11 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Your Haiku News Source
Shank of the evening
Putting the finishing touch
on this Bad Haiku
Haiku # 70316, March 24, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by A. Booger of Addressed to you
Olde March Limerick
There was a lad from Haiku
He smelled just like you
Haiku # 70315, March 24, 2021 10:20 pm ET
by March Wind of Near Cheese (apparently)
Babies will eat you
They can never be trusted
Cook you like bacon
Haiku # 70314, March 24, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Margaret Thatcher
Legend of Limpdick
A popsicle stick and tape
made it possible
Haiku # 70313, March 22, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Wank E. Ingenuity of Patent Pending
But you cannot change
that which is nonexistant.
Feel the breeze flow through.
Haiku # 70312, March 22, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Cool, dry balls
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